Wednesday, June 17, 2009

what fathers day really means

Well, I'm back. I haven't blogged in about a week. I've been slacking, and I'm ok with that. I had fun at my moms house, as usual. we sat around the table talking and laughing and telling stories, like we always do. It was a good week with the family and I was very sad to see my cousins go. But, because I'm trying to stay positive, I'm going to get back to my tributes.

I've been thinking about fathers day today, so I am reminded of the one REAL father that I have. From day one, Jeffy was my dad. He was everything my real dad wasn't. He was definitely tough on me, and at the time I hated that. I always thought he was just being a hard-ass. I thought that my "dad" was great because the once a year he came to see me, he was nice to me. But the more I grew up, the more I realized, my "dad" was that way, because he had the easy job. All he had to do was show up. He didn't actually have to parent me. He didn't have to ground me or help me with my homework. Jeffy was tough on me, because he wanted me to be a good person and he wanted me to succeed in life. He was exactly what a step-dad should be. In fact he is exactly what a FATHER should be.

I love to see him with the kids. He is the definition of a wonderful Grandfather. We have had an inside joke ever since Maria was born. Whenever I would see my mom through the week he would get upset that he couldn't see her. Then whenever she would hold him while we were all together, he would call her a "ball hog". Still, if I am with her during the day and he calls, I'll hear him call her a "ball hog" through the phone as we laugh about it. He tells me every time they watch the kids, how great they are and how much he loves them and what a joy it is to have them spend the night. It makes me so happy to know that my kids will grow up close to their Grandparents.

My mom always says that she knew she could marry Jeffy, because the minute he met me, he was in love with me. What mother could marry a man that doesn't love her children, like his own? She never had that problem. He was "Jeffy" to me, from the first time I met him and I have always been his daughter. I was so proud to have him give me away on my wedding day and I wouldn't have had it any other way. During the "father-daughter dance" I couldn't stop crying because it just meant so much to me that he had raised me my whole life. As we started to dance (and I sobbed), I said "thank you" and he said "it was no problem" and I said "No, not just for the wedding, I mean for everything. For my whole life" he said "Oh, Nae, it was my pleasure".

I think, I respect him more than I would if he had been my "real" dad, because he didn't have to do any of it. He didn't have to be a father to me. He didn't have to love me, even when I was being difficult. He didn't have to teach me how to be a good, honest, hard-working person. He didn't have to help me build my science projects. He didn't have to be there for every concert, play, recital, Christmas program and every single day of my life. He did all of that, because he wanted to. And that is why he has my respect for the rest of my life. And that is why he is the only father (other than Josh) that will get a card from me on Sunday.


Tricia said...

What a great post. You are so fortunate to have such a great person in your life!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness...this is making me all teary-eyed! How sweet :)