Thursday, January 28, 2010

what is family?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. To me, family is not just (or sometimes not EVEN) the people that you have a blood (or marital) relationship with. Some of the people that Josh and I consider family, aren't even related to us. But, they treat us better than some of the people in our actual family tree do.

I guess to me, family is there for you when you need them. They support you, love you and hug you when things are tough. But even more than that...they will tell you when you are acting like an ass hole. They might talk about you behind your back, but mostly it's because they love you and are genuinely concerned for you. They are the people who will be hurt when you exclude them from an important day or event in your life. They want to stand with you even when they also stand against what you are doing. Family, to me, is the people you want with you on your worst day and on your best day and they are the people who want the same for you.

So my question is, what is it that makes you think of someone as "family"? Is your "family" made up of mostly your actual relatives or is it made of more friends than anything else?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

oh, it's ON! **EDITED**

I've been trying to keep MY psycho in-laws identity a secret (for her own good). But today I read a couple things that I just CAN'T let go. So here ya go. Read if you must, but remember you'll need a barf bag handy if you plan to read more than one entry.

****in case you are planning on reading her blog, you should know that after she read mine she edited hers to make herself sound a little better. i mean she's still obviously delusional, but she took out the part where she called me fat and she added in some extra lies that will be fun to read but have no value in the REAL WORLD. I especially like the one where she says that I started the SAHM "war". that's funny b/c I have it in print that SHE is the one who started it and I was the one trying to defend myself. yes people THIS is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. wanna trade lives? I figured not. lol*****

And here are my notes to you "Miss Candy Graham".

  1. Yes, I'm overweight. Thank you sooo much for pointing that out Captain Obvious. I hope you feel much better about yourself now. Great job. I have just had three children in less than 4 years though, so I've been a LITTLE busy. What's your husbands excuse? Hmmm? And if you'd like for me to start pointing out your faults for the world, I can do're an irresponsible, ugly, selfish, narcissistic, WHORE, bitch who conned her way into a family that NO ONE wants her in. Shall I go on?
  2. I'm not sure how you get "bragging" from the sentence "I don't know what we would have done if we had had to pay the almost $1 mil. in medical bills after maria was born". If you think that a 3 month nicu stay for your 1 lb baby is something to be "bragged" about, maybe you need to see someone for your mental fact, why don't you just do that anyway.
  3. Yes, our kids do qualify for medicaid/healthy start. BUT WE ALSO PAY INTO IT EVERY WEEK!!! And isn't that what it's for. We aren't "mooching" off of the government. It's kinda like you paying road taxes and driving on the roads. You act like we don't pay our taxes and as if my husband doesn't work 6 days a week.
  4. If what you do is considered a "JOB", then I guess what I do would be considered 5 or 6 JOBS. Why don't you drop the fight with me over me being a SAHM. It's getting REALLY old. It is a decision that doesn't affect you. It was a choice my husband and I made before we had children. We feel that it is the best thing for our family and that is OUR CHOICE. NOT YOURS. So mind your own business. And just so you know, even if I did work they would still qualify b/c all of that money would be going to daycare which they take into account. Also maria will always get it b/c she is considered handicapped. So what exactly would be the point? If we had been paying $1500 a month for health insurance otherwise, we might be filing for bankruptcy right along with you guys LOL (however, more than likely we'd just adjust our spending in other areas to make up the difference).
  5. It's not stalking when my husband drives/rides his bike by every day and notices something that is out in plain sight (do you need a dictionary, b/c I have an extra?). I'm sorry, but you guys are a big joke in this house and one part of that is your inability to take care of your home (including, but not limited to...the lawn mower on the front lawn for almost a month, the tipped over swing, your inability to close your garage door...then complaining that your house got broken into, every light in your house being on every minute of every day...whilst complaining of high electric bills. etc. etc. etc.) And as far as your period goes...I'd just be happy that you're having one at all and not pregnant. I'd hate for you to screw up another innocent child. LOL. So really there's no need for the info, but thanks for offering. ;-)
  6. And I know for a fact that you and your husband have taken money from his mother and she has paid bills to help you get by. You both need to GROW UP and start taking care of yourselves. It's pathetic. You are such a joke. You're what? 10 YEARS older than the rest of us and you still can't figure out how to take care of your finances and pay your bills. OBVIOUSLY or you wouldn't both be filing bankruptcy. Like one of my friends said on another one of my's LACK OF PARENTING. And you are just repeating the cycle.
  7. And as for a previous post in which you declare that Josh and I shouldn't have had kids if we weren't going to "take care" of's funny b/c that's exactly what we always say about YOU. If you didn't want to stay home with your kids and actually raise them instead of paying someone else to do it, and if you were planning on throwing away all of your money on "extras" so that you couldn't use it to support your shouldn't have had them at all. We love our kids. I spend every minute of every day taking care of my precious gifts from God. I enjoy every bit of time I have with them because I know that before long they will be grown and I will be wishing for this time back. Our children are always happy, fed, clothed and taken care of. They have everything they would ever need (and then some), including parents and family who love them more than life itself and spend as much time with them as possible. You are lucky that you still have an unbroken nose for some of the things you have been saying about Josh and I and our kids. Here's a little advice for you Candy. If you are a true Christian woman, you would show it in the way you ACT, not the amount of times you mention God in your blog. You would be a better person than you are. And because of the horrible person YOU are, two brothers no longer speak. If you weren't the way you are, things would be different. YOU tore this family apart. You are the one who insisted on having a wedding you KNEW we couldn't attend. You are the one who called me names and STARTED the war over me being a SAHM (which is about as stupid as war gets). It is time to let it go. You think that you are better than everyone and you have everything all figured out...well good for you, miss perfect. I guess you've never made a mistake in your life. well, congratulations. We will never get along because of that fact. I tried to give you a chance (even when Josh warned me about you). And you know what I found out...he was right. It's like you don't want people to like you. You make it impossible to stand to be around you. I really don't know how you have made it through life without having a line of people a mile long waiting to kick your ass. And more than that, we are still puzzled as to how you got TWO idiots to marry you. Really, it baffles the mind. The rest of the family has pretended to "like" you, and for that lie, they have escaped your wrath. But we don't regret being honest, Candy. We've actually enjoyed letting you know what the world is saying behind your back. But it's time to end it. Stop referring to me in your blog and I will do the same. Stop publicly insulting me and I will too. We'll pretend you don't exist and PLEASE pretend we don't exist.

Monday, January 25, 2010

MHR...uhhh monday?

Obviously, we've been having to deal with a really horrid, disgusting person who has been trying to bring us down lately. However, when I look at our life together, I really wouldn't change much. (Other than removing a couple people from our radar and winning the lottery lol). Josh and I are happier than we've ever been. We both say every day how we wish we could keep everything the way it is right now, forever. Especially the kids. I love spending every minute with them and yet it still feels like I don't spend enough time with them. I still feel like it's going so fast and I want to freeze them.

Josh rocks today and every day because he loves me for who I am. He stuck with me through the most difficult pregnancy(ies) imaginable and then through the 7-8 months of post-partum depression I went through January through August-ish (which also happened to coincide with his dad and sister-in-law starting some of the worst "fights" we've ever been in). It wasn't easy for either of us. I was at the lowest point in my life. I wished for death more times than I care to remember. I screamed at everything that moved (which unfortunately happened to be the people I love the most). I said and did things I regret. I cried more tears than I probably have in my entire life. But through all of that, Josh refused to give up on me. When I was begging him to leave me or put me out of my misery, he would give me a hug and tell me that one day I was going to wish I hadn't said that so he was going to ignore it. And he was right. He would hold me while I cried for hours. He helped with the housework and he took the girls outside after he got home so that I could rest and just have Jackson.

So what made me need to tell you TODAY why he's so amazing instead of waiting until Friday? Well, last night we were laying in bed talking (as usual lol) and we started talking about that time in our lives. We talked about how hard it was on both of us. And I asked him how he could stay with me through all of that.
He said "you told me".
I said "when did I tell you that?"
He said "when Maria was in the NICU and you told me every single day that God only gives us what we can handle. I just remembered that. And I was thinking that what YOU had to be going through to make you that angry, must have been pretty bad. I was never mad at you, I felt bad for you and I wanted to help you."

Now folks, THAT is why I married him! lol. We really do honor our vows to each other. We are in this through good times and bad. In sickness and in health. I don't know if I deserve a man that would love me through all of that, but I thank God that I've got one. We really are partners in this life. We don't tell each other what to do. We don't make the other one be the only person in the relationship to ever compromise. We make decisions together. We talk about EVERYTHING. And we do it like adults. We will be happy together til death do us part.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

who REALLY deserves the reward?

I feel like the wrong people are constantly being rewarded for their behavior. Josh and I are responsible. We work hard, pay taxes, pay our bills, take care of our kids, take pride in keeping our home clean and and well-maintained (like, we would never leave our lawn mower and a tipped over patio swing sitting in the front yard for 21 days straight like some people on our street did. lol). We've never asked our parents to pay a bill for us or give us money, so they haven't. Even when they've offered to help us out, they never ACTUALLY do it. However the irresponsible people we know are ALWAYS getting bills paid for them and being handed money to "help them out" of bad situations that they got THEMSELVES into. Even the government is jumping on that bandwagon now and handing over a bunch of money to them (as they are planning their second Caribbean cruise in a about some wasted government money!!!!). Why is that? Why are they being rewarded with all this money, when WE are the ones being responsible. Where's our reward for doing the RIGHT things?

It's like when all of those corporations who FUCKED UP, got bailed out. They were handed all of this money, even though it was THEIR fault that they were in that position. And even though they showed absolutely no remorse for the mistakes they made in the past and no knowledge of how to do things differently in the future. They just thought that throwing money at the situation would solve the problems (as they continued using their private jets and taking billions in bonuses...are you seeing some similarities here). Meanwhile, the small businesses who were doing things right (but still being shit on) didn't get a dime. I wonder if it's because they weren't the "favorite" son....

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


What is it really like to be a SAHM? There's a "woman" I know (I use that term loosely since I consider a woman, to be someone who can handle her own finances without receiving bailouts from the government...while taking vacation after vacation), who apparently thinks that being a SAHM is the same as sitting at home alone all day long with nothing to do and no responsibilities. I had to laugh out loud when I read what she thinks her life would be like if she didn't have a job that she gets paid for. It was HILARIOUS. I guess mostly because this woman DOES SIT AT HOME ALONE ALL DAY (her kids are grown and in school) and she still can't manage to get anything done (a mutual family member said their house was so disgustingly dirty she wanted to vomit when she went in there one time). she has a part time job that she does on the computer about an hour a day. The rest of the time, she is on Facebook or blogspot (since apparently she checks my blog every 5 minutes). So I guess I should post a blog entitled "what my life would be like if i had my cell phone and internet paid for by the government and sat at home alone all day long with almost nothing to do but bullshit on the internet and talk shit about SAHM's and family members on my blog". I wonder how well that would go over....;-)

**see how fun it is when people make assumptions about what life is like in your shoes? not very nice, is it? so maybe you should knock it off sometime soon. or i could just walk my "fat, lazy, dependant, worthless, jobless" ass down to your BARN and knock your fucking head off. mmmkpumkin?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Best parts of my day

  • Being woken up by either a) the girls begging for food lol. or b) josh kissing me (either option is awesome)
  • Hearing the girls say "bye, my booey" when josh leaves for work (we have no idea what that means, but they've been saying it for more than a year)
  • Watching Jack actually EAT ON HIS OWN. Omigosh, he's finally eating finger food by himself (no medieval force-feeding torture machine needed ;-))
  • The girls "tippin toe" (tip-toeing) out to the living room and peeking around the corner to see if they can get up from their naps.
  • or if Maria has preschool, it's when we're waiting in line and she asks me what every single button or knob in the car does. She laughs the whole time b/c she thinks it's hilarious that I answer her every day. lol I LOVE that laugh and I wish I could bottle it up and save it for 10 years from now lol.
  • Sophia helping me with the laundry. She loves helping me sort it and put it in the washer and she absolutely HAS to push the buttons. lol.
  • When Josh gets home and the girls RUN, SQUEALING to the back door to see him. then he gives them the mail to give me and he gives me a kiss matter how dirty he is from work (however, some days it's more like a peck due to oil, grease or whatever else is on there lol).
  • after-dinner dancing! (not always every day)
  • The good night "routine" when we put the girls to bed.
  • 8:01 when the house is quiet and josh and i have time ALONE :D
  • laying in bed with josh holding hands and talking. i love it. it's nothing special, but we've done it every night for the last 6 1/2 years we've lived together. (except for a short time when he worked midnights :-( and an occasional fight that went over-night lol).

Monday, January 18, 2010

the difference

The difference between medicaid (which is now just a gov-sponsored HMO)/medicare and a "handout"...

Medicare/Medicaid is a necessary program to give pregnant women, children, the elderly and the disabled the necessary medical care they need to survive. You need to prove that your income is under the designated amount, however so that it is not used by those making $100,000.00 a year. These programs are not WIC or welfare. They are not government-funded handouts (like bankruptcy). They benefit the citizens and families of this country greatly and like EVERY government-sponsored program, they are sometimes abused. But these programs should not be taken away because of that fact. They should be improved, however. MANY families use them so that they don't go DEEPLY into debt and end up not being able to pay their monthly bills and care for their children due to medical bills. Lord only knows where we'd be if we had had to pay the almost 1 million dollars in medical bills we had after I had Maria. But, THAT is what it's there for. Maybe if some people had used it instead of being so self-righteous and proud, they wouldn't need to be HUMILIATED by having their parents constantly paying their bills for them.

**you know who you are. idk how you keep commenting on my blog within 5 minutes of it being published, but I was thinking maybe you should get back to "work". lmao. good luck with your bankruptcy. you know, the HANDOUT from the government to just "poof"...make your debt go away even though YOU were the one that made poor financial decisions. i believe they call that a BAILOUT! lol

Things we don't do in this house

Someone once commented on my position in this house, how we raise our kids and my relationship with Josh (among other things). I would like to take today to remind that person(s) about what people in glass houses shouldn't do...

So here's a list of things that go on in someones house...just not THIS house.

  • We don't have our mommy's pay our bills for us into our 20's and 30's (actually we have NEVER, EVER had someone else pay for ANYTHING for us. EVER).
  • We don't have our gas/electric/water shut off for lack of payment.
  • We don't spend hundreds of dollars a week eating out because someone refuses to cook a single meal for her children and husband.
  • We don't file bankruptcy because we can't get our spending under control and act like ADULTS.
  • We don't continue to charge VACATIONS and other EXTRAS to credit cards because we are apparently CHILDREN who have to have everything they want right when they want it.
  • We don't then accuse OTHERS of having financial trouble due to a lifestyle/parenting choice. Most especially when those "others" are making it work on HALF the income.
  • We don't LIE and say that we paid for our own wedding when really we made EVERYONE (including our parents and any guests that wanted to attend) pay for it because we are the most selfish beings on earth.
  • We don't let our kids do whatever, whenever with no consequences and then make excuses for their bad behavior, when the real reason for it, is LACK OF PARENTING.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

1 year and 8 days...

Ok, so I realized yesterday that I hadn't done a post about how far our little Jack-in-the-box has come since New Years day one year ago. So here we go.
  • he's pulling himself up to stuff, cruising and standing on his own (no official steps yet though).
  • he thinks he's hilarious. he's always laughing at the "funny" stuff he does.
  • he mimics everything we do and it's freaking adorable.
  • I've been trying to get him to blow kisses, but instead of him doing it when I'm done, he just grabs my hand and puts it to my mouth. then he'll pull it away and laaaugh.
  • he's a PITA about eating. I mean a TOTAL pain. no way in the world can we get him to eat Cheerios (etc.) off his high chair tray. no, no. instead he throws them all on the floor, screams in irritation, then when I put him on the floor, he eats them all off of the floor. on a positive note I've been cleaning the floors daily, so it's making me a better housekeeper ;-)
  • he likes a little action. he's easily bored when it's just the two of us. but as soon as the girls (or anyone) enter the room he's a happy camper.
  • I'm pretty sure he has "younger sibling syndrome" (I'm also pretty sure i just made that up). once he became mobile, he automatically thought he was one of the older kids. he'd rather go back to the play room with the girls and just sit and stare, than be out here with all his toys.
  • favorite thing to play with in the entire house...the flap on the dishwasher detergent thing. no joke. it's like an addiction.
  • he LOOOOVES the vacuum cleaner. if he's in his bead and I'm vacuuming, i can hear him in there jumping up and down laughing and squealing with delight.
  • his "lovey" is a sock...any sock will do (but he does prefer the smaller ones). it immediately goes in his hand while he starts sucking his thumb. hilarious...and a little perplexing.
  • he's got mama, baba and dada down, but that's pretty much it. however baba is used for all things with that sound (bye-bye, bad boy, and of course bottle!)
  • STILL NO TEETH! (I know, right!) we're looking on getting a group rate for a pair of little baby dentures and Josh's new tooth. ;-)

3 years and 1 day

(three weeks old)

(three years old)

(yes that is a 1 & a does equal 3 after all...;-)

So, our little Pia pants is 3 years and 1 day old today. Here are some things she can do right now and some things I always want to remember about her right now.

(and I just remembered that I didn't do one for Jack on New Years day, so I will do that tomorrow, I promise).

  • She speaks like a 4 yr old. She's always been advanced with her speech (maybe it's genetic lol) and that has just continued. .

  • she runs, jumps, kicks, climbs, throws, catches* and all that fun stuff.

  • she is absolutely OBSESSED with Jack. she loves him like I have never seen a child love another child. I really thought that Maria was protective of her when she was born, but that is NOTHING compared to how Sophia is with Jack.

  • she eats with a spoon and fork well, however it's not exactly clean...same goes for a cup (she does it, but if we're having company or something i usually just give her a sippy so she doesnt get all excited and knock it over).

  • she makes up songs and sings them all.the.time. (yesterdays went a little something like this...."happy birthday to meeee. everyone gonna sing to meee. because it's my birthdeeee.) and i hope i always remember the way she dances right now.

  • she recognizes the basic shapes and colors

  • she knows some letters (including "S" of course) and tries desperately to write her name.

  • she speaks Spanish...neither of us have any idea what she's saying, but who cares. (she's actually doing it right now lol)

  • She almost always puts her fingers in her dimples when you ask her to smile for a picture.

  • she's an EXTREMELY picky eater (which I'm SURE is Gods punishment for the way I was about eating at her age...or ALL ages lol) and this includes hiding food in her cheeks and storing it for hours...or going and spitting it out in the bathroom (another one of those things that I have NO idea where she got it from....;-)**

  • She's about the hungriest child ever. She asks for food CONSTANTLY and last week she finally found an answer to my question of "why are you always asking for food?". her answer..."because mommy, I'm hungry when my bodies hungry". Can't really argue with that logic (esp. when she says it while she's lifting up her shirt and rubbing her belly).***

  • she likes to "call" people on her phone and she actually has a whole conversation with them that generally starts a little something like this..."hey. whats up. what are you doing? nothing? oh. ok...." and almost always leads to "when you comin over?".

  • she's working on sharing and taking turns. however I think the fact that I've heard her put her barbies "in the corner" says a little something about how that's going lol

  • she LOVES being read to. her favorite is "are you my mother". she asks me to read it to her daily and i do it happily because i know that it wont be long before she's reading it on her own.****

  • she begs EVERY DAY to go to preschool and still gets teary when we drop Maria off at school.

  • She's sooooo polite it's about the cutest thing ever. Even if I tell her no about something she STILL says "ok thanks mom".

  • She's always asking people to "play twirly whirl" with her. Which pretty much just consist of each party holding one end of a string and twirling it around. But she thinks its the coolest thing ever. :D

*ok, her catching isnt exactly perfected yet, but she still tries and that's whats important.

**i know that sentence is grammatically incorrect, but I can't figure out how to fix it and still make it say what I want.

***she actually did this at the restaurant last night...gotta love her.

****she has most of it memorized already. i keep trying to get it on video and can't quite get it all for one reason or another.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

yes, ANOTHER new blog

So, last time I told you about a new photo blog I'm doing (taking a pic a day for the year). Well, I'm also starting a cooking blog.

I've got the intro up right now. I've got a couple recipes typed up and saved but I would like to try to get pics of them before I post them. I started it because I am ALWAYS being asked for my recipes for stuff, so I just thought it would be fun to devote a blog to it. Also, because I want to let people know that even the best cooks make mistakes and burn things and can't get certain things to work. I would say that I am a pretty good cook, but I do mess stuff up quite a bit and I try to learn from it (*try*). So I'd like to share some of that with people too. I hope you'll follow me over there and maybe we can learn a little bit from each other.

Sunday, January 3, 2010 362 days

I just read a blog that shared an awesome idea. You take a picture a day, every day of the year and post it on a blog. I've decided to do it. IDK what my theme will be just yet, so until I find my inspiration, it will be totally random. also, I will try my best to not put the pics on my facebook for those of you that are my friends over there, so as to avoid the monotony (except for the first one because i was unprepared).

Here's the link to it, so follow me over there and let me know if you are doing it too and I will follow you too!