Saturday, September 19, 2009
In the last 6 months Maria has had probably 3-4 Night Terrors (I only recently was able to put a name to the situation). Thursday night, though, was something I've never seen before and hope to NEVER see again. I would say Josh and I (and Maria) slept a total of 1 hr the entire night.
She went to bed at 8:00 like usual and probably fell asleep within an hour. But by the time Josh and I went to bed at 10:00 she was a hysterical, inconsolable, mess. She was screaming, drenched in sweat, her heart was beating out of her chest. Her eyes were bulging out and darting around the room and she was acting like I wasn't even there. She was shaking uncontrollably and pointing on top of her dresser. The only thing I could understand that she was saying, was "swiper!" (from Dora). I swear it was like she was "possessed" as dumb as that sounds, it's what it looked like. I held her for a while until she got calmed down (about 15 minutes). I went back to bed and within a half an hour she was screaming again.
This time it was bugs. She was going crazy in bed slapping her legs and all over her bed. Kicking her sheets and throwing everything. Josh was with me and he picked her up to hold her and she started hitting him and screaming "bugs get out of here" (as if he were a bug). It was the same thing with her looking around us, but not AT us. She wasn't really awake but she was just going nuts. She had woken up Sophia so we decided to put her in our room so we could console her easier. Josh put her down and got her some new clothes (she was DRENCHED). I thought she was walking behind me, but when I turned around I saw her walking pressed up against the wall (like there was something on the floor). She then started jumping over what I can only imagine were "bugs". She really did see them all over the house. Then about halfway to our room, she fell to the floor and started hitting her legs and screaming that the bugs needed to get off of her. This went on for a while in our bed. I was holding her when she sort of calmed down a little and she said "why all these snakes in bed with me?" I said "what snakes hunny?" and she said "right there" as she pointed right at a space between her and I and the blankets. I just started crying. I felt like she was going crazy. I didn't know if she was awake or asleep or something in between, but it either way, it didn't seem "normal" (for the record I HATE the word normal so I hesitate to use it here about my baby).
It went on all night she would sleep for about an hour (or sometimes less) then she would be up for anywhere from 15 minutes-2 hrs screaming about things that weren't there. At one point she wouldn't stop screaming at me to close the door so "that horsey can't get in here to poop on me!" (I am not sure if that one was a "nightmare" or a "night terror" b/c she acknowledged I was there and she was speaking fairly clearly).
Josh is a man and men are inherently impatient and unsympathetic so he lost his temper at around 4:30 and went to sleep on the couch because (I quote) "what's the matter with her, she can't tell the difference between a dream and reality" to which I said "obviously NOT or she wouldn't be screaming at me to save her from a horse that's waiting for her in the living room, because I closed the door and apparently horses are like vampires and they have to be invited in! (yes, I saw fit to add a little of my usual sarcasm into the situation at this point...hey, that's just me without any sleep recalling my days of watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer).
From the moment she "woke up" (I use that term VERY loosely here) she was telling me how tired she was. She basically layed around all day watching TV drifting in and out of sleep. At around 11:00, she asked to take a nap. She was back there for about an hour and a half before it started again. This time I went back there to see the "usual" NT activity and she was also swatting at bees, while Sophia yelled at her "there's no bees in the house Mia! Bees live outside!". I held her for awhile and she eventually calmed down (about 15-20 minutes).
Last night was only twice (yes, in this upside down world I am living in, 2 psychotic terror-filled episodes deserves the word "only"). I'm not sure what they were about though because they were brief and she didn't say any "actual" words.
I'm not sure what (if anything) we can do to stop them. I've read some things that say they will "grow out of it" and some that say that's crazy and lots of adults still have them. One important thing I've learned today is to not say "it's only a dream. it isn't real" (which we were saying), because to them, it IS real and it just makes them more angry. I might try a lavender and chamomile candle (for 2 hrs burn it in her room with the door closed, then blow it out when she goes to bed) and I think on days she has school, since she doesn't get a nap, she will go to bed at 7:30 instead of 8:00 because I've read that if they get too tired, it makes it worse. Also, if they continue too much longer (at this frequency) I may look into getting her in to see a neurologist because a friend of mine read that they might be linked to underdeveloped brain cells. (which might be related to her sever prematurity) Thankfully she doesn't yet, seem to remember any of them. I am just praying that continues so that she doesn't have these memories that are so terrifying.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
What's funny is that the people who voted this clown into office AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION to what is happening.
Van Jones is "gone", but the problem there is that his ideology is still HERE! Obama says "look at the people I surround myself with". So that's what we're about to do here today. These are some quotes taken directly from the people that NO ONE voted into the white house. These are the "czars" Obama has brought in to "tweak" the CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. (and these do not include the disgusting things Van Jones has said)
Cass Sunstein (regulatory czar):
"Animals should be permitted to bring suit, with human beings as their representatives, to prevent violations of current law."
"A legislative effort to regulate broadcasting in the interest of democratic principles should not be seen as an abridgment of the free speech guarantee."
"I have argued in favor of a reformulation of First Amendment law. The overriding goal of the reformulation is to reinvigorate processes of democratic deliberation, by ensuring greater attention to public issues and greater diversity of views."
Mark Lloyd (diversity czar):
"In Venezuela, with Chavez, is really an incredible revolution - a democratic revolution. To begin to put in place things that are going to have an impact on the people of Venezuela. The property owners and the folks who then controlled the media in Venezuela rebelled - worked, frankly, with folks here in the U.S. government - worked to oust him. But he came back with another revolution, and then Chavez began to take very seriously the media in his country."
John Holdren (science czar):
"A program of sterilizing women after their second or third child, despite the relatively greater difficulty of the operation than vasectomy, might be easier to implement than trying to sterilize men. Indeed, it has also been concluded that compulsory population-control laws, even including laws requiring compulsory abortion, could be sustained under the existing constitution if the population crisis became sufficiently severe to endanger the society."
******"The fetus, given the opportunity to develop properly before birth AND given the essential early socialising experiences and sufficient nourishing food during the crucial EARLY YEARS AFTER BIRTH, will ULTIMATELY develop into a human being"
Ezekiel Emmanuel (health advisor):
"When implemented, the complete lives system produces a priority curve on which individuals aged 15-40 yrs get the most chance, whereas the youngest and oldest people get chances that are attenuated"
Hopefully by tomorrow, I will have ready a blog that outlines exactly what it is that scares me so very much about what is going on right now. It isn't because I'm a Republican. IT IS BECAUSE I AM AN AMERICAN and I don't believe the Constitution is "an old piece of paper written by some old rich white guys a bunch of years ago".
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The world is going to hell in a hand basket. (No, I don't actually know what that phrase means so please don't ask)
Jack is crawling. (Yes, it's official now)
Maria is so stinkin polite it's killin me! (And she's heading off to school...again. And I will be bawling my freaking eyes out...again)
I'm having another garage sale this weekend. (Well, I almost HAVE to since according to "Candy and friends" I am just a lazy SAHM who doesn't contribute to the family and is a financial burden on poor, poor Josh)
I've started a delayed New Years resolution (Since last year I was a little busy...ya know, giving birth and all). I've been trying one new recipe every week. And it's actually going really, really well.
I may have cured my momma. (Ok, well technically a new Dr. that was referred to me by a stranger who is now our hero, may have cured my mother. But I feel that I am, at the very least, indirectly responsible for the aforementioned curing)
We are paying off HALF of our debt tomorrow. (well just the credit card kind. But that is the very worst kind, after all)
I am 3/4 finished with all of my canning. (18 quarts of green beans, 6 quarts of corn, 12 quarts of spaghetti sauce, 6 quarts of tomato sauce. All that's left is apple pie filling and applesauce)
Unfortunately that about wraps it up.