i'm still here

This is basically just me saying that no, in fact, I have not died. I know I've been awful lately. I had so much fun to share and just got sooooo busy with everything and haven't had the time (yes I know that sounds extremely lame). All I can say, is that if you have received a blog comment from me in the last week, you should consider yourself very special. I have been canning and freezing and just all around getting ready for fall/winter. Also prepping for another garage sale (hoping to make even more than last time...which I am aware is asking a lot). I have another day of canning spaghetti sauce going on tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a bit easier since Josh will be here to help me.

I did also want to say a little bit about how awesome Josh and I have been doing these last few weeks. Are there things that I would change? sure. But when you get down to it, we are a good match. We complement each other. I am feeling really close to him lately and for some reason feeling like we have (finally) reached a point where we are in sync. I think we have spent the last 7 1/2 (yes 7 1/2!) years kind of fighting over the little shit because we didn't really know how to deal with all of the big shit. So instead of really talking about it, we ended up fighting over who didn't rinse out their dish or who fell asleep during the movie. Stupid shit! I know it sounds weird, but we are finally just learning to accept each others faults and knowing that we can't change them. When we went to our "pre-marital counseling" with the pastor before we got married (hence the name) he asked us a question that I have been thinking about lately. He said "What is it that bothers you about each other?" We gave our answers and he said "Are these things you can live with forever? Because they are never going to change. People don't change and people aren't perfect. You need to be able to clean up after each other and listen to each others mundane stories and visit each others families and all of that, and still want to wake up and do it again every day of the rest of your lives because that person is worth it to you. No two people are perfect for each other. The best we can do is to try to bring out the best in each other and to complement each other in the good AND bad times." We do that. 5 years ago we went through hell. A hell I wouldn't wish on my enemy and I remember fighting with him one day about the sandwich he brought me to the NICU when the real fight was about the fact that Maria needed surgery the next morning and I didn't know how to say "I'm afraid she's not going to make it". I didn't know how to communicate with him those feelings that were so important, so we fought about Arby's. I wish that we were as good together then as we are now. We would have made life a lot easier on each other. As much as I appreciated the silence at that time, there was so much that needed to be said and never was. We had been married for less than a month. We were young and we were SCARED. I wish I knew then what I know now. What I know now is that there is no amount of hell Josh will not go through with me. He will not leave me when things get tough. It is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and it is amazing. He is who I will wake up next to when I am 90 and I love knowing that.

Camping cont.

OK, so I have been an extremely bad blogger for the last few weeks. Just the normal craziness+my inability to figure out a new way to upload my pics since my freebie photoshop thing is up+I'm too cheap/poor to purchase a new photo software. So I am back and if I do say so myself, better than ever. :D Anyway, I have tons of pics and stories to tell, so hold on to your seats, it's gonna be a fun few posts. I'm going to try to stick to one topic per day, but I'm not promising anything.

First things first. Camping. We went to West Branch Campground in Ravenna. It was nice because it was only about 45 mins away and it was a really nice campground. The sites are mostly really nice. A bunch of them, though were totally wooded so there was NO grass. My parents had the misfortune of having one of these sites, which was not much fun esp after the 12 hrs straight of rain we got the second night. But, to avoid this situation in the future, Josh and I drove around the campground before we left and marked on the map, which ones would be nice for next time.

Our tent was really nice and well worth the $150. We didn't waterproof it, but it didn't need it. After the aforementioned rain, we had only 1 teeny, tiny leak that caused no problems at all. It was also very roomy because it was a "cabin" style instead of the normal "dome".

This was where Josh and I slept and then Jack was in the Pack n Play. Our luggage and other gear is at the bottom of the pic.

Then the girls were in the other bed and our food and kitchen stuff was in the 3-drawer container and the black tote.


The girls brought bubbles, chalk, bikes, their balls and Barbies to keep them occupied

And they spent lots of time at the playground.

And of course the highlight was going to the beach :D This is my sister Erin with Jackson in his little "cabana" (which was awesome and also well worth the money, btw).

Sophia was not really sure about the water at first. But after an hour or two she was walking waist-deep in it.

Maria just loved the water. My sister Melanie took her out and was holding her in the deeper water and she was having a GREAT time. She is still talking about it today.

We did end up leaving a little bit early. We were paid up until Tuesday at 1:00p but we left on Monday at 8:00p. I think everyone was ready. We had all had our fun and were ready to go. It actually worked out perfectly though.

camping is not for the weak

I will definitely say that camping is not for everyone. I once heard a woman we know say that her idea of camping is the Holiday Inn. And I would say that for those who feel that way....STAY AT THE HOLIDAY INN. LOL. It is a lot of hard work and it isn't fun every minute. But if you know what you are doing and you are able to work hard and still find joy in it, it's definitely worth the trouble.

We had a day where the kids did nothing but cry and we had 12 hrs of constant rain (thankfully it was over-night), but we still had fun. Maria FINALLY peddled her bike by herself. Both of the girls went in chest-high into the water and LOVED it. (which for some reason they never do at their Grandma's pool). They built sandcastles and played at the playground. Aunt Val taught the girls some Volleyball. Aunt Erin and Aunt Mel walked Jackson all over in his stroller. We had hobo pies and smores, and we melted styrofoam plates with steaks. I actually managed to get Josh to spend an hour with me playing cards and I read half of a book (Lord only knows when I will have the time to read the other half though lol). The tent didn't leak amidst all the rain...and MUD underneath. Josh did a little fishing (and a little "non-fishing" with the girls lol) By the end of the trip Josh actually said "I don't want to leave, I'm having too much fun." In the weeks leading up to the trip he was quite a fan of the phrase "this is gonna suck". So I was really surprised he loved it so much and was bugging me all the way home about when we were going to go again. I call that a success! I swear I have lots of pics, I just can't seem to get them uploaded onto my computer b/c my free 2 yrs of photoshop is up. So you will have to be patient with me.

Hodge Podge

Today I went and did a few things that I have been needing to do for a while. One of which is renewing my licence and getting new tags for the van. (Yes, I know it's 2 months late. What can I say, I'm a procrastinator).

The other was that I got Sophia a bike. The poor thing has just been watching Maria ride hers around and staring in envy. You can practically feel her excitement through the pictures, which I ADORE. It's my favorite part of Christmas, too. I just love giving people gifts that I know they will love and the smile on their faces melts my heart. (Oh and they had to ride in the garage because it started raining about 1 minute after dinner).

And we are getting a few fruits of our labor (well, mostly Josh's labor). We've gotten about 10 peppers and just as many green beans. Normally I wouldn't pick the green beans, but they were HUGE and we thought they needed to be picked. Our tomatoes have TONS of fruit on them, so I can't wait to can my own spaghetti sauce! I should take a picture of the whole garden (it's HUGE). Maybe I will save that for later in the summer.

And this is just because he wasn't in on the bike situation. He is loving his new-found independence. He's scooting and rolling ALL OVER THE PLACE. I never know which piece of furniture I will find him lodged under, when I enter the room. He's just getting so big and smart and curious. I say it with each of them, but it's still true. THEY GROW UP TOO FAST!

Nighty Night. Sleepy Tight.

I'm realizing lately, that time is going faster and faster. I think it's having kids that makes it go so fast. You wake up one morning and realize they have grown incredibly fast and you feel like you have possibly missed something or not enjoyed something enough. And speaking of enough, what is enough? When is it ever enough? When can I say that I showed my love enough or played with them enough or laughed enough or enjoyed all of their little idiosyncrasies enough? To me, parenting is one big question that never gets answered. But, I guess, it doesn't feel like it needs to be answered. It feels like a question that needs to remain rhetorical. I think every parent feels, at some time, like are making a mistake or could be doing something better. I think the best we can all do, is try to enjoy every minute and think about whether or not we will regret what we are doing in the end.

In an attempt to remember the kids as they are right now (because this time is so fleeting), this is our bedtime ritual EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

Mommy or Daddy: Ok! time for bed! :D
Girls: OK OK OK! BEDTIME!
Sophia: Hold my hand mommy!
Maria: Hey guys, wait for me! (as she tries to find her blankets and giraffe and baby doll, etc.)
*at this point I am holding Sophia's hand and trying to keep her upright as she trips over her "pink blanket" all the way back to her bedroom.
Mommy: Hop into bed!....Get into bed....GIRLS Get into bed!....Sophia! Get into your bed now! (she thinks it is the funniest thing in the world to act like she can't get into her bed as she laughs so hard that she ACTUALLY can't get into bed)
Maria: Pia, get into bed like me. I'm a big girl going to school cuz I wear panties. You a baby cuz you don't go pee in the potty (this is what she says any time she calls herself a big girl).
Sophia: body slam me daddy!
Josh: Ok. Ok. KA-BUUUSH! (as he lifts her up over his head and slams her down on the bed)
Sophia: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! Do again Daddy! Do again!
Josh: No, once is enough. Lay down.
Maria: Body slam me Mommy!
Me: Ok. Ok. (my body slam noise is not nearly as good as Daddy's, but it still gets a nice laugh out of Maria)
Sophia: turn my fan on
Me: No, you don't need your fan on tonight. (or ok, depending on how hot it is)
Maria: Where's my blanket with the holes in it? (she means my baby blanket that she sleeps with. It is crocheted. lol).
Me: It's right here, beside you.
Maria: Where's my giraffe?
Me: Right here.
Maria: Where's my blankie baby? (this is the "snoedle" they gave me for when she was in the NICU. I kept it with me while I was in the hospital, so it would smell like me. Then after she was born they gave it to her to keep with her that week until I could come see her.)
Me: It's right here.
Maria: Oh, thanks mommy!
Me: Lay down. *kiss* I love you, baby girl. nighty night, sleep tight.
Maria: I love you, mommy! I wanna kiss your head. (so she does). I think you have nice hair!
Me: thanks baby, I think you have nice hair too.
Maria: thanks mommy. nighty night. sleepy tight!
*then I go to Sophia
Me: I love you, little Pia! *kiss* Night night, sleep tight.
Sophia: Nighty night, sleepy tight. oh! oh! oh! I wanna kiss you head! I wanna kiss you head! (so she does) I think you have nice hair!
Me: thanks baby. I think you have nice hair too.
Sophia: thanks mommy!
Me: I love you
Sophia: I love you mommy. I take a nice nap, then I wear my babysuit and go swimmin.
Maria: and I go see gam if i take a nice nap
Me: I dont know girls, maybe.
Maria: maybe
Sophia: maybe.
*lights out and a big sigh of relief that we got out of there without having to turn water into wine or do the chicken dance in Spanish. ;-)

And just so you know, Josh goes through the same thing with the girls, except when they kiss his head they say "I think you have a little bit of hair, Daddy". Which is probably much funnier to me, than to him. lol :D

One day they wont want us to tuck them in and all I will have are these memories of when they couldn't get enough of us.

and the journey begins

Yep, we're starting the inevitably tortuous journey of potty training with Sophia. Yes, I am well-aware of the fact that she is 2 1/2 yrs old and I should be positively humiliated by the fact that she STILL has never actually gone IN the toilet. Next to it, yes. In the next room, sure. Immediately following a 20 minute sitting on it, of course. But never actually IN the bowl.

I have to say that the girl has some staying power too. She is absolutely obsessed with food. If we want her to do anything we offer food (I know, I know. stop shaking your heads in disapproval). But not this. I even bought chocolate chip cookies to offer as an incentive (the small piece of candy wasn't doing the trick). But still nothing. There she sits today on the pot telling me "mommy, I don't want to be big girl like Mia and go pee on the potty! I like going pee in my diaper!" WTH!? Who would proclaim their love for such a thing? Only Pia, I suppose. hence the nickname "Pia pee pants". Cruel yes, but truthful nonetheless. I have implemented the "no diapers" method. It's a major pain in the ass for me (like I don't already have enough laundry to do), but it is the only thing that worked for Maria and it honestly didn't take too long with her.

I personally, am blaming all of my shortfalls as a mother on Maria. She was too easy. (other than nearly dying in the NICU and all). When I told her to do something, she did it. When I said something was off limits, she stayed away. When I said no to something, I never heard a word about it. She was sleeping through the night a month after she came home from the NICU, for crying out loud. I was recently watching video of her a couple days after her second birthday (she had just learned to walk and I was capturing her running 4 days after taking her first step). The door to the basement was wide open and she was standing about 6 inches from the opening because I had told her MONTHS before to not go past that line. Show me another 1 1/2 yr old that would say "ok mommy" and never go near it again.

So then we get Sophia and I act like a 15 yr old with my first child or something. I remember telling Josh one day "she said no, to me today" Josh goes "WHAT? well what did you do about that?" (like we're solving the war on terror or something) I said, "I stood there like a moron trying to figure out what just happened". That had never happened the the 3 yrs Maria had been alive. And now, here Sophia is telling me that she doesn't care if she ever gets to go to school, be a big girl, wear Dora panties or EVER get out of diapers at all. We have been joking about the fact that she can count to 10, recognize some letters, knows almost all of her shapes and colors and speaks like a 4 yr old, yet she can't seem to figure out the complex equation that is "peeing on an actual toilet". At this point we are convinced that she will be heading off to Harvard in her Depends with a travel pack of wipes in her backpack.

Well either way, wish me luck. I understand that this is an uphill battle and am totally prepared for the fact that I am totally unprepared. (again, thanks Maria ;)

hot dogs, sparklers and facepainting, oh my!

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July. I know we did. We went to Silver Park and watched their gorgeous fireworks display with my parents and sisters. It's beginning to be a tradition for us. This is our 3rd year and we just love it. We go in the afternoon and hang out all day playing games and talking and all the fun stuff they have there is really cool. Here are some of my pics from the day, unfortunately my camera batteries died so I couldn't get any pics of the actual fireworks. But you can just take my word for it, they were great.

I don't know if you will believe it, but he slept through the fireworks!

The girls waiting for "Gam" and "Gampy". It was actually kind of chilly and windy the whole day, then it cleared up at about 8:30.

The 26-years-apart twins lol.

Eating...the best part of any holiday ;-)

Yes, we did give our 2 and 4 yr olds sparklers....ok, WE didn't, my parents did.

They were so good with them. I couldn't believe how careful they were being to not touch the hot part to anything. And Maria was obviously mesmerized.

They got butterflies painted on their cheeks. They were really patient and never moved while they were painting them. The girls doing it even said "I can't believe how still they are being". Maria wasn't quite sure how to show hers off though.