5 yrs together

Today is Josh and my 5 year anniversary. To say it's gone fast would be an understatement.

Here's what I remember most about our wedding day...

• I remember being more calm than I've ever been in my life. I don't think everyone has to be that way. I can totally understand how someone would be nervous on their wedding day, I just wasn't. My maid of honor kept asking me if I was scared or nervous or anything. I kept reassuring her that I was fine. I think everyone else in the wedding party was more scared than I was. I just knew it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.



• I remember missing Josh. I think it was because it was such a huge day and I wanted to talk to my best friend about it. But I couldn't because my best friend was being hidden from me. (against his will, btw. hey, I'm a traditional girl)
  


• I remember not knowing what to do when I walked down the isle. I wanted to smile and cry and run all the way down it and give Josh a big hug. I just couldn't decide, so it ended up being a mixture of all of those things...including a bit of a waddle (which I didn't notice until watching the video).



• I remember hearing Josh's Grandma say "oh wow, she looks beautiful" as I walked down the isle. Now this was not an easy woman to please, TRUST ME. I worried constantly that she wasn't going to like me or a choice I made. She kept telling me to wear my hair down even though I wanted it up. And she told me to wear an ivory dress even though I had bought my white one before I got pregnant so I couldn't really do anything about it. So hearing her say that, made me really happy. She was a difficult woman, but I actually really miss her now that she's gone.



• I remember not remembering anyone from the ceremony. I honestly never looked at anyone but Josh (and the Pastor...and Travis because he was right behind Josh and he was staring right at me lol).



• I remember Josh's ring was HUGE on his finger.



• I remember squeezing Josh's arm and hand and him squeezing mine back, the WHOLE time. You can actually see it in the video if you're looking for it.



• I remember walking into the reception hall. I LOVE that part on the video too. It was such an awesome feeling and the DJ was amazing and they made it really memorable.



• I remember Josh and a bunch of the guys doing the Y.M.C.A. Memorable, does not begin to describe that dance.



• I remember everyone telling us it was the best wedding they've ever been to. Actually, they still tell us that all the time. Also, the bartender (whose wife owns a bakery) said that our cake was the best he'd ever eaten. It was REALLY good and Josh and I designed it together. Also it was super cheap too, so that's always good.



• I remember being so exhausted by the end of it I wanted to fall asleep on the tables. My feet were swollen beyond recognition, my pregnant belly that I had shoved into a corseted dress was sore, my back hurt from dancing like a teenager all night (a NON-pregnant one) and my head hurt from all of it. Little did I know, I was already starting to have symptoms of HELLP (well pre-e at that point).

I know that there were probably some bad memories from that day too, but when I think of our wedding, I only think of the good ones. The last 5 years have been far from easy, but we've gotten through all of it TOGETHER. That is what makes a good marriage. A good marriage doesn't mean that you never have any problems or fights. A good marriage has those things and gets through them and it gets stronger and stronger every day.

I love you Baby. I can't wait for the next 50 years together.

ABC's of our life

I got this from Danifred and I thought it would be fun. So all day yesterday, I had out my handy dandy notepad and when I thought of something I jotted it down and this is what I ended up with. I encourage you to do it too (and remember to link to me when you do).





A is for Alaska. Josh and I have talked about going, since before we got married. Someday we'll get there and I will finally get to see those northern lights in person. cant' wait.


B is for Barbies. Any time we tell the girls we are going somewhere, their Barbies are the first things they grab.


C is for Cabo. It's where we went on our honeymoon and it was aaaamazing. Here actually.


D is for Dress-up. If you're going to be spending any time in this house, you have to be prepared for all the pretty, pretty princess dress-up that goes on. (and that includes being turned into a frog with their magic wands, and only turned back with the magic word..."ZzzzIP!")


E is for Easter. I got the girls Easter dresses the other day. Still looking for Jacks outfit though. I hate that there are so fewer cute clothes for boys than there are for girls.


F is for Floors. I spend probably the majority of my time dealing with floors. Cleaning Jacks food off the kitchen floor, cleaning the girls crumbs off the dining room floor, picking up toys off the living room floor, etc...


G is for Grinders. It's actually where Josh and I met. Our friend Justin set us up. Josh always says that he couldn't resist me shaking my butt when I walked by his table. yah, we're classy.


H is for Home. Our house may not be the biggest or nicest house out there, but it's our home and we love it. We have made a lifetime of memories in this house in the last 3 1/2 years.


I is for Ice cream. Josh swears I am the only person that eats ice cream all winter long. I dispute that.


J is for Jack-in-the-box. It's a terrible nickname that started after he was born. When the girls came to "meet" him, they asked why he was in a box (the isolette) and it just stuck.


K is for Keep cool, Stay calm. It's a phrase that I've been repeating to myself a lot lately. I'm thinking about putting it on a plate at hot pots.


L is for Laundry. TONS AND TONS OF LAUNDRY.


M is for Mustang. A yellow '94 Mustang GT with a 5.0 and black racing stripes, to be exact. It was the car Josh had while we were dating. He sold it to his brother when we got pregnant with Maria (not exactly suitable for a car seat lol). We have soooo many memories in that car and if we had the money, I would buy it back for him right now. It absolutely breaks my heart that his brother is selling it. The person he's selling it to has never had a car for more than a couple months, so pretty soon that car will be gone forever and I hate that.


N is for NICU. Unfortunately we've spent many months there with all three of the kids.


O is for Olympics. Yes, we are Winter Olympics junkies. We really couldn't care less about the Summer Olympics, but we watch as much of the winter as we can. Josh loves all the skiing and the luge and bobsled etc. I'm forever a Curling fan, and we both like hockey.


P is for photos. If you know me at all, you know I'm obsessed.


Q is for Quilt. I have always saved my favorites of the kids clothes or blankets, when I purge the closets and I plan on making them each a quilt for graduation with them. From baby clothes to senior T-shirts, their first 18 years in one quilt.


R is for aRe you my mother (yes I cheated on this one). It's Sophia's favorite book. She has it memorized, but she still asks me to read it to her almost every day.


S is for Strawberry Newtons. Jacks new favorite food. His eyes get all big and he starts clapping whenever I get them out for him. It's precious.


T is for Teeth/Tooth. Josh is finally getting his tooth. Jack still only has one. and the Girls insist on brushing theirs 5 times a day.


U is for Team Umizoomi. It's Maria's new favorite show. She's obsessed. seriously. I swear she has an internal clock that tells her when it's on.


V is for Vacation. We are FINALLY getting to take one after 5 years and We.can't.wait.


W is for Whining. as in...TOO MUCH in this house. lol


X is for Xylophone. (yes, I'm using it) Jack has two of them and I swear to God, they are his favorite toys. no joke.


Y is for Youth. Where has it gone. I look at other people my age and I feel soooo much older and more mature than them. They are still trying to figure out who they are and I'm thinking about our retirement.


Z is for Zoo I'm stealing this one from Danifred because my house is like a zoo sometimes too.

blog-iversary (and some lessons on relationships)

I've been putting this off for a few days now (mostly due to illness and my inability to sit upright for more than 5 minutes without passing out for the last couple days lol). Anyway, on the 10th it was my 1st blog-iversary. So I looked back at some of the posts from those first couple months.

As I talked about in a recent post, it was not exactly the best time of my life (due to my PPD), but I was just trying to do my best. Which I think is what we're all doing. As mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends...Americans. We're all just trying to do our best and do what we feel is best for ourselves, our family, our country, whatever. I mean, when you look at all of the fights that you've had in your life, whether they are political or personal, they hinge on one thing. You are fighting for what YOU think is best and the other person likewise. And as long as no one fights dirty (a sin we've ALL committed a time or two...be honest!) you really can't hate the other person for it all that much. Right? You can dislike their position, but when you step back and look at it from THEIR point of view, you can see that you're both doing the same thing. Maybe you are both being stubborn or close-minded or hurtful, but more than likely, neither of you meant to be that way. More than likely, you both just felt attacked and were being defensive about something you care about very deeply. I think that sometimes we let these little fights get into a relationship and just ruin it. I think we've all done it. And probably, we all wish we hadn't.

I always hated the phrase "we have to agree to disagree" because I felt that it was "wimping out". But in the last year (and mostly in the last month), I have been forced to do just that, many times. I didn't like it...but it didn't kill me either. And I actually feel like I've become a better person for it.

I feel that I've grown in the last year. I've seen what I'm really capable of. I've seen what Josh and I are capable of together. I've seen on a daily basis what amazing miracles my kids are. And not only did we survive this year, but we learned some important things from it and we also had a lot of fun!

Last year at this time I was severely depressed. Today, I can honestly say that I've never been happier in my entire life. So thank you. Thank you for sharing in the good times and the bad. Thank you for reading my rants, commenting on my pics and supporting me through the good times and the bad ones. It's been an awesome journey and I can't wait for my 5 or even my 10 year blog-iversary!!

week of firsts

Jackson has had a pretty big week (relatively speaking, of course. because if it were a week for me, it would be a pretty lame one). our adventures include...

• FIRST FREAKING TOOTH! oh my Aunt Jemima, I thought this day would never come. But it did, and around the third straight day of nothing but whining and tears, I was wondering why I wanted this so badly for him.




• FIRST STEPS! That event was today and it was aaaamazing. :D I actually had tears in my eyes. (yes, I know that's lame since it's my third, but it doesn't get any less exciting in my eyes). The major importance of this event happening on this particular day....it was one year, exactly, from his due date! how cool is that!?


• FIRST HAIRCUT! so it was really just a trim on the back of his mullet man head that he was working soooo hard to grow. And to be honest, I felt as bad cutting his precious few hairs, as I feel when Josh asks me to do it to him. lol. But he was definitely in need of it.**

from this...

to this...

Ok, it's not exactly noticible to the naked eye, but it did actually make a difference.

**I still have no idea what to do with hair. I've never touched marias, I've only trimmed sophias bangs and I use a razor on josh. I just don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing with it...esp with Jacksons. I've just never been around boys, so I guess it's one of those things I'll just learn along the way.

Friday Night Leftovers (2-5-10)

OK, I've tried it a million times and can't get the icon to copy over here so visit Danifred for more leftover fun.

This will be my first time participating in Danifreds Friday Night leftovers. So here's whats been going around in my head this week.

• I've been a little cranky lately with everyone who doesn't live in this house. I really don't know why, it's just one of those moods where everyone is irritating me. I feel like people need to grow up and lighten up all at the same time. Maybe that's an oxymoron, but I really don't care. lol
• Apparently we are supposed to get hit really hard tonight with some snow. The kids are super excited about the possibility of some "sliding" (sledding) and I am just happy to hibernate, as usual.
• We went and had our taxes done last night. So now we're looking at where to go on our FIRST VACATION EVER!!!! We haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon (5 yrs ago), so we are pumped about that.
• I got both of the girls signed up for preschool for next year. I didn't really talk about it on here, but Maria's teachers are concerned about her (developmentally) because she's not recognizing most of her letters and she is still struggling with her name (she usually writes it backwards and it's not entirely clear what she is writing), she doesn't use scissors correctly and a couple other things that to me are insignificant (I mean, come on...how often do you have a need for "galloping" in the real world?). I had a few really rough days last month just trying to accept that things are never going to be easy for her. She's struggled since the second she was born and she's still struggling almost 5 yrs later. I definitely let my guilt get the better of me. But we ended up just deciding to keep her in preschool another year. OBVIOUSLY she's not going to stand out (size-wise) as being older than the other kids. lol. AFA Sophia goes, she CAN.NOT.WAIT. to go to preschool. And I'm sure she will excel. She already knows pretty much everything Maria knows and can do everything she does. Things have always come easy to her and I'm grateful for that. It's hard enough watching one child struggle her whole life.
• I had a day all to myself yesterday. IT.WAS.AWESOME. I cleaned and did laundry and watched some TV....all UNINTERRUPTED! :D And it was a nice little reunion that evening.
• We are trying to move forward with my family. We fought. Everyone said things that were hurtful, and more than likely no one is going to apologize. We just need to move on and try to get past our hurt feelings. Things are still super awkward, but at least we are trying. Some families (or family members) wouldn't do that much. So I guess we should consider ourselves lucky.
• Oh and for those who were concerned about the situation with the SIL, I got some great advice from a great friend (and from an awesome husband) and I've decided to just ignore her. I can't control her, so I shouldn't waste my time being concerned about her actions and her words. I had commented over there and then Josh was like "why are you giving her your time? she is a worthless piece of shit." And he was so right. So I haven't checked her blog since and I don't plan on ever checking it again. Here's hoping she will do the same. :D