Tuesday, May 5, 2009

what have you done for me lately?

oooo oo oo oo yeah.....
Great, now I'll have that song in my head for the rest of the night. lol.

First let me say that I lied and have no pictures for you today. :-( sorry.

So I just read a friends blog (Diana, her blog is "i am still" sorry I don't know how to link) and she was saying how we should appreciate our bodies, b/c they never did anything to us. And at first I agreed because I have to say it is an absolute MIRACLE every time a baby is born healthy. Only God could make two cells turn into a human being. And that is one way that she is right, but then I thought, wait a minute. My body has done more harm than good to me in the last 5 years....heck in my whole life. Including the fact that it tried to kill all three of my children. I honestly am struggling to come up with some good things about my body. So the following is a list of reasons my body and I aren't currently on speaking terms.
  • I suppose I will go with the most obvious. Well, it...er...THEY are obvious if you know me. :D I had to wear a bra in the THIRD GRADE. That's right folks. What were you doing in the third grade? Good money says not wearing bras. lmao.
  • I am unable to give ANY amount of blood. I have actually had 4 separate medical professionals (2 anesthesiologists, one surgeon and one ICU doctor) tell me they have NEVER, in decades as Dr.s seen someone with such terrible veins. One of the anesthesiologists had to leave the room and come back b/c he was getting so pissed at my BODY. And that is not including the uncountable number of nurses and phlebotomists.
  • I heal like a banana. No, seriously.
  • For some reason I carry ALL of my weight in my stomach. I could not pay, nor bribe my butt to uphold it's end of the bargain (no pun intended there). So I am officially a walking APPLE, complete with the bright red face (only after a drink or two though lol)
  • A few letters for ya....HELLP (hemolytic anemia, elevated liver enzymes and low platelets). For those of you, not yet informed, it was my bodies excruciatingly painful and nearly fatal, way of telling me I should never be a mother.
  • And because I will forever fail to take a hint, a few more letters....NAIT (neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia). It only took two pregnancies affected with this little gem, to make me wanna call it quits.
  • And on the baby note, how about the fact that, not for lack of trying (and trying and trying) I was never able to BF any of my three children.
  • HEAD.ACHES. every minute of every day for the last....10 months, I believe (and as a sweet little tid-bit, my body has decided to throw in the occasional day of total dizziness).
  • BODY.ACHES. at least 2 days a week. To the point that I'm starting to believe I have a new disorder called "hitbyverylargetruckwithoutmemoryofevent syndrome"...it's a working title.

So, to recap, this is why for the last 4 yrs, I have run (not walked) to the freezer on a daily basis for ice cream. I'm thinking of it as pay-back. ;-)

I love you Diana and I am sooo glad you appreciate your body for all that it has done for you. I'm just not there yet. The wounds are still to fresh...get it, b/c I never heal. I crack myself up sometimes. lol :D


Mama Reg said...

i love you too renee!!

i had to wear a bra in 3rd grade too lol. i know its embarassing right?!

you have strength i will never have. you and your kids are here because you are a fighter. idk what i would have done in your shoes...theres a good chance, give up! but you keep truckin along, and you even crack yourself up sometimes, and me for that matter-i love it!!

Tricia said...

I had to wear a bra in 3rd grade too!! it was (and still is) TERRIBLE!!! Anyway, I am not sure where I first heard about your children, (I may have read about it on myspace?!) but I envy the strength that you have!