Monday, October 26, 2009

the secret to potty training

I feel pretty confident sharing with you all the secret to potty training. Yes, folks, you heard right, I have the secret, after potty training two children. ;-) I know this may be hard for you to believe, but it's true. I don't know why all those pediatricians who write books never called me to ask about it, because I've been sitting at home for the last 4 1/2 years waiting. So here goes, the secret to potty training is....DON'T RUSH OR PUSH! Right around 18 months, we all start getting antsy about the amount of money we're spending on diapers or how disgusting it is to change a 2 yr olds poopy diaper (which makes no sense at all, b/c it isn't any MORE disgusting than changing a 2 month olds diaper). And we read the books and listen the Dr. who all say "any time you want to you can start potty training" and "MOST children are potty trained by age 2" (which I find to be total crap b/c I hardly know of any kids that were PT by age 2).

When it was Maria, I didn't worry as much because she was so delayed with everything else and mentally I didn't feel like she could even comprehend it. So yes, she wasn't PT until she was probably 3. And we worked on it FOR.EV.ER before that because she didn't "get it" ya know. She was spending half the day on there and if she went it was shear luck, not because she knew she had to. It was stupid. Why didn't I just wait until she was ready instead of forcing it because I was ready. Because once she was ready, it was the easiest thing ever. We took a break and went back to it and that time, she got it right away and it was fun and she felt good about herself, etc.

Which brings me to Sophia. We had tried this before with no luck. she would pee on the floor (yes, you heard right) while she was waiting to get her diaper changed. The girl COULDN'T hold it. So why on earth, did I (and everyone else) push her so hard to go on the potty? We did that for a week and I just said "no. I'm not doing this. I'm not going to spend weeks and weeks fighting with her over something so stupid" So, I just dropped it for a month. This time when I put panties on her last week...pure perfection! She came to me about a half an hour later and said "mommy, I think I need to go pee". And it's been like that ever since. I have never in my life heard of anyone having such an easy time. Yes, she's 2 1/2 (ok, more like she'll be 3 in two months...) and I've been berated by people about letting her wear diapers this long, but at the same time...THERE WERE NO FIGHTS! there was no frustration (from her OR us). It was not a struggle, it was just the natural progression of things. The way I look at it, I have enough things I need to fight with them over, I really don't want to add another. I mean, I don't advocate people waiting until the kid is in kindergarten or anything, I just think that you know your child and you know when they are able to understand certain things and I have a very hard time believing that that is at 18 months. In my opinion, it is the parents who are trained, not the child. It's like how my mom always asks Maria if she needs to go (like right after she eats, etc.). It's stupid. SHE knows if she needs to go, and SHE will tell YOU. I am not trained, she is! I can't ever remember asking Maria if she needed to go. And I have never once this week, asked Sophia if she needed to go. I have relied solely on her telling me and she hasn't had a single accident. Ok, I take that back. The very first day I forgot to put her diaper back on her for her nap and she couldn't get herself situated on the potty before she went a little bit. But otherwise, she's been golden! And I swear, I'm doing it this way for Jack too. If it's worked for 2 out of's gotta be right...right?


Kara said...

They say girls are easier, but honestly I don't think it's "easier" they just wait longer I think.. with Kohen.. I was so hard on myself because 2 came and went, and so did three.. still diapers, and 4 was creeping up on us! and still.. DIAPERS! (well pullups.) but you are SOO right. we tried EVERYTHING. and I mean everything. when he was ready.. he peed on the potty. with maybe one or two accidents in between. (the pooping took a little longer) but he did it when he was ready. I also think he took longer because of all the changes he had at such a young age. when he was 2, josh left for 5 months for basic training, then at 3 his brother died, then after that I was pregnant with kaelyn. So every child is different and goes through different things. So they will do it when they are ready! thanks for your post. thumbs up!

Kara said...

by "they wait longer" I meant boys. (sorry) : )