I feel pretty confident sharing with you all the secret to potty training. Yes, folks, you heard right, I have the secret, after potty training two children. ;-) I know this may be hard for you to believe, but it's true. I don't know why all those pediatricians who write books never called me to ask about it, because I've been sitting at home for the last 4 1/2 years waiting. So here goes, the secret to potty training is....DON'T RUSH OR PUSH! Right around 18 months, we all start getting antsy about the amount of money we're spending on diapers or how disgusting it is to change a 2 yr olds poopy diaper (which makes no sense at all, b/c it isn't any MORE disgusting than changing a 2 month olds diaper). And we read the books and listen the Dr. who all say "any time you want to you can start potty training" and "MOST children are potty trained by age 2" (which I find to be total crap b/c I hardly know of any kids that were PT by age 2).
When it was Maria, I didn't worry as much because she was so delayed with everything else and mentally I didn't feel like she could even comprehend it. So yes, she wasn't PT until she was probably 3. And we worked on it FOR.EV.ER before that because she didn't "get it" ya know. She was spending half the day on there and if she went it was shear luck, not because she knew she had to. It was stupid. Why didn't I just wait until she was ready instead of forcing it because I was ready. Because once she was ready, it was the easiest thing ever. We took a break and went back to it and that time, she got it right away and it was fun and she felt good about herself, etc.
Which brings me to Sophia. We had tried this before with no luck. she would pee on the floor (yes, you heard right) while she was waiting to get her diaper changed. The girl COULDN'T hold it. So why on earth, did I (and everyone else) push her so hard to go on the potty? We did that for a week and I just said "no. I'm not doing this. I'm not going to spend weeks and weeks fighting with her over something so stupid" So, I just dropped it for a month. This time when I put panties on her last week...pure perfection! She came to me about a half an hour later and said "mommy, I think I need to go pee". And it's been like that ever since. I have never in my life heard of anyone having such an easy time. Yes, she's 2 1/2 (ok, more like she'll be 3 in two months...) and I've been berated by people about letting her wear diapers this long, but at the same time...THERE WERE NO FIGHTS! there was no frustration (from her OR us). It was not a struggle, it was just the natural progression of things. The way I look at it, I have enough things I need to fight with them over, I really don't want to add another. I mean, I don't advocate people waiting until the kid is in kindergarten or anything, I just think that you know your child and you know when they are able to understand certain things and I have a very hard time believing that that is at 18 months. In my opinion, it is the parents who are trained, not the child. It's like how my mom always asks Maria if she needs to go (like right after she eats, etc.). It's stupid. SHE knows if she needs to go, and SHE will tell YOU. I am not trained, she is! I can't ever remember asking Maria if she needed to go. And I have never once this week, asked Sophia if she needed to go. I have relied solely on her telling me and she hasn't had a single accident. Ok, I take that back. The very first day I forgot to put her diaper back on her for her nap and she couldn't get herself situated on the potty before she went a little bit. But otherwise, she's been golden! And I swear, I'm doing it this way for Jack too. If it's worked for 2 out of 2...it's gotta be right...right?
Showing posts with label potty training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label potty training. Show all posts
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
and the journey begins
Yep, we're starting the inevitably tortuous journey of potty training with Sophia. Yes, I am well-aware of the fact that she is 2 1/2 yrs old and I should be positively humiliated by the fact that she STILL has never actually gone IN the toilet. Next to it, yes. In the next room, sure. Immediately following a 20 minute sitting on it, of course. But never actually IN the bowl.
I have to say that the girl has some staying power too. She is absolutely obsessed with food. If we want her to do anything we offer food (I know, I know. stop shaking your heads in disapproval). But not this. I even bought chocolate chip cookies to offer as an incentive (the small piece of candy wasn't doing the trick). But still nothing. There she sits today on the pot telling me "mommy, I don't want to be big girl like Mia and go pee on the potty! I like going pee in my diaper!" WTH!? Who would proclaim their love for such a thing? Only Pia, I suppose. hence the nickname "Pia pee pants". Cruel yes, but truthful nonetheless. I have implemented the "no diapers" method. It's a major pain in the ass for me (like I don't already have enough laundry to do), but it is the only thing that worked for Maria and it honestly didn't take too long with her.
I personally, am blaming all of my shortfalls as a mother on Maria. She was too easy. (other than nearly dying in the NICU and all). When I told her to do something, she did it. When I said something was off limits, she stayed away. When I said no to something, I never heard a word about it. She was sleeping through the night a month after she came home from the NICU, for crying out loud. I was recently watching video of her a couple days after her second birthday (she had just learned to walk and I was capturing her running 4 days after taking her first step). The door to the basement was wide open and she was standing about 6 inches from the opening because I had told her MONTHS before to not go past that line. Show me another 1 1/2 yr old that would say "ok mommy" and never go near it again.
So then we get Sophia and I act like a 15 yr old with my first child or something. I remember telling Josh one day "she said no, to me today" Josh goes "WHAT? well what did you do about that?" (like we're solving the war on terror or something) I said, "I stood there like a moron trying to figure out what just happened". That had never happened the the 3 yrs Maria had been alive. And now, here Sophia is telling me that she doesn't care if she ever gets to go to school, be a big girl, wear Dora panties or EVER get out of diapers at all. We have been joking about the fact that she can count to 10, recognize some letters, knows almost all of her shapes and colors and speaks like a 4 yr old, yet she can't seem to figure out the complex equation that is "peeing on an actual toilet". At this point we are convinced that she will be heading off to Harvard in her Depends with a travel pack of wipes in her backpack.
Well either way, wish me luck. I understand that this is an uphill battle and am totally prepared for the fact that I am totally unprepared. (again, thanks Maria ;)
I have to say that the girl has some staying power too. She is absolutely obsessed with food. If we want her to do anything we offer food (I know, I know. stop shaking your heads in disapproval). But not this. I even bought chocolate chip cookies to offer as an incentive (the small piece of candy wasn't doing the trick). But still nothing. There she sits today on the pot telling me "mommy, I don't want to be big girl like Mia and go pee on the potty! I like going pee in my diaper!" WTH!? Who would proclaim their love for such a thing? Only Pia, I suppose. hence the nickname "Pia pee pants". Cruel yes, but truthful nonetheless. I have implemented the "no diapers" method. It's a major pain in the ass for me (like I don't already have enough laundry to do), but it is the only thing that worked for Maria and it honestly didn't take too long with her.
I personally, am blaming all of my shortfalls as a mother on Maria. She was too easy. (other than nearly dying in the NICU and all). When I told her to do something, she did it. When I said something was off limits, she stayed away. When I said no to something, I never heard a word about it. She was sleeping through the night a month after she came home from the NICU, for crying out loud. I was recently watching video of her a couple days after her second birthday (she had just learned to walk and I was capturing her running 4 days after taking her first step). The door to the basement was wide open and she was standing about 6 inches from the opening because I had told her MONTHS before to not go past that line. Show me another 1 1/2 yr old that would say "ok mommy" and never go near it again.
So then we get Sophia and I act like a 15 yr old with my first child or something. I remember telling Josh one day "she said no, to me today" Josh goes "WHAT? well what did you do about that?" (like we're solving the war on terror or something) I said, "I stood there like a moron trying to figure out what just happened". That had never happened the the 3 yrs Maria had been alive. And now, here Sophia is telling me that she doesn't care if she ever gets to go to school, be a big girl, wear Dora panties or EVER get out of diapers at all. We have been joking about the fact that she can count to 10, recognize some letters, knows almost all of her shapes and colors and speaks like a 4 yr old, yet she can't seem to figure out the complex equation that is "peeing on an actual toilet". At this point we are convinced that she will be heading off to Harvard in her Depends with a travel pack of wipes in her backpack.
Well either way, wish me luck. I understand that this is an uphill battle and am totally prepared for the fact that I am totally unprepared. (again, thanks Maria ;)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
denial. it's not just a river in egypt.
OK, I'm looking for some advice on this one.
Maria started potty training about a year ago (yes she was old, don't hate). I wouldn't say she was particularly difficult to train. Maybe slightly harder than most. But like everything, once she got it....she had it and it was done. So for a while she was only wearing a diaper to bed (not naps....unless she was at my moms house....). Josh did it. I have to give him all the credit on that one because I wasn't even going to try. She would wake up soaked. So to me, it seemed ridiculous to expect her to all of a sudden not go at all for 12 hrs or get out of bed and go during the night. We had a few discussions on it and never really came to a conclusion. So one morning I went to change her diaper and....no diaper. I called. He laughed. We were proud. All good. Right? No.
That was MONTHS ago and she has never had an accident. Until 3 nights ago....and 2 nights ago...and last night. I really don't know what is going on with her. Is three nights long enough to call it a problem? The main reason I don't think this is a fluke is because last night she did it twice. At 11:00 we were going to bed (yes, I know, late for us old geezers). And heard her whimpering. Josh goes in and of course, Mr. Temper-Tantrum himself, starts yelling at her (yah, that'll do it) After dealing with it, we proceed to fight because I said she had an accident and Josh apparently feels that it's some sort of vindictive, manipulative master plan by our 4 yr old to rid herself of bedsheets and pajama pants every night. He literally scoffed at the word "accident". So then I went in at about 4:00 to find her wet again. So this morning I read her the riot act and she came back with this little nugget "mommy, I just pee in my bed because I want to". But the way I look at it is, at least she's recognizing that it happened. Two nights ago she swore up and down to me that I came into her room took off her pants and sheets for no reason at all. She had no recollection of it happening at all. It was actually kind of funny to see her so heated over my "lies and betrayal".
So the question is, what do I do with this? Today my attempt at punishment is that she can't go outside tonight. To which she responded "I didn't pee in my bed, mommy". I said "oh, so were back to denial are we"........blank stare. tough crowd.
Maria started potty training about a year ago (yes she was old, don't hate). I wouldn't say she was particularly difficult to train. Maybe slightly harder than most. But like everything, once she got it....she had it and it was done. So for a while she was only wearing a diaper to bed (not naps....unless she was at my moms house....). Josh did it. I have to give him all the credit on that one because I wasn't even going to try. She would wake up soaked. So to me, it seemed ridiculous to expect her to all of a sudden not go at all for 12 hrs or get out of bed and go during the night. We had a few discussions on it and never really came to a conclusion. So one morning I went to change her diaper and....no diaper. I called. He laughed. We were proud. All good. Right? No.
That was MONTHS ago and she has never had an accident. Until 3 nights ago....and 2 nights ago...and last night. I really don't know what is going on with her. Is three nights long enough to call it a problem? The main reason I don't think this is a fluke is because last night she did it twice. At 11:00 we were going to bed (yes, I know, late for us old geezers). And heard her whimpering. Josh goes in and of course, Mr. Temper-Tantrum himself, starts yelling at her (yah, that'll do it) After dealing with it, we proceed to fight because I said she had an accident and Josh apparently feels that it's some sort of vindictive, manipulative master plan by our 4 yr old to rid herself of bedsheets and pajama pants every night. He literally scoffed at the word "accident". So then I went in at about 4:00 to find her wet again. So this morning I read her the riot act and she came back with this little nugget "mommy, I just pee in my bed because I want to". But the way I look at it is, at least she's recognizing that it happened. Two nights ago she swore up and down to me that I came into her room took off her pants and sheets for no reason at all. She had no recollection of it happening at all. It was actually kind of funny to see her so heated over my "lies and betrayal".
So the question is, what do I do with this? Today my attempt at punishment is that she can't go outside tonight. To which she responded "I didn't pee in my bed, mommy". I said "oh, so were back to denial are we"........blank stare. tough crowd.
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