it won't be like this for long

the forgotten post

2010-09-14T18:27:00.000-04:00

***OK, this was actually a post from a week ago that I just realized that I forgot to actually post. It was to be titled "water, water everywhere" or something to that effect, I wasn't quite set on that. And normally I would just forget about it, but this story is pretty funny, so I felt that it needed to be shared.

I went to the grocery store last night. Now normally, that would not be an event worth mentioning on the ole blog (except for the time I hurled in Giant Eagle and left my purse in the store). However, this trip ended with me LITERALLY soaked from head to toe by the time I got home.

I arrived to the store about the usual time. And the weather was actually quite lovely. There was a chill in the air and it had me in a great mood (feeling that fall was near). One of my favorite songs was on so I sat in the car singing my heart out...er...listening quietly, until the end. I jumped out and opened the back door to get out the water jugs (we have a water cooler so we just fill the 5 gallon water jugs every week instead of buying bottled water). The little thing in the center of the lid of one of the jugs had fallen inside. So I removed the lid and started shaking it to get the little piece out. But alas, it had suctioned itself to the jug. I finally shook it loose, but OF COURSE the slippery little bugger slipped through my fingers and rolled into a crack in the floor of the van (we have stow and go and there are two itty bitty open crevices by each seat). so at this point I give up. I decide I'll just take the one in. I grab it and my canvas bags (right now, I'm realizing how "green" this post is...). So anyway, I close the door and LITERALLY 5 seconds later it starts the most ridiculous down-pour I've ever seen in my life. I stood there like a complete moron thinking
"should I go back and wait in the car"
"should I go back and get my umbrella".
"NO that's stupid, If I go back to get the umbrella, I might as well just wait in the car"
"make a decision you stupid idiot, you're soaking wet and your pants are falling down because they are now twice their normal weight due to water retention".
"Should I run?"
"NO, then your pants will fall down even faster and in front of everyone"
"should I just walk normally"
"oh sure, by the time you get there you will be even MORE wet"
"GOD you are stupid!"

So I ended up doing this really awkward fastwalkingbutnotquiterunning thing (and keep in mind that this whole time, I'm carrying an empty 5 gallon water jug, 4 canvas bags, my purse and my keys....and my pants). Except that by the time I made the decision to do THAT, it started HAILING. HUGE.FREAKING.HAIL. pelting my body like little bullets. I get in there and I am beyond soaked. My shirt is clinging to my chubby body like spandex. My pants are having to be held up by one hand at all times lest they fall around my chubby little ankles. My hair is plastered to my face and head. And my arms and face are covered in what look like little bee stings from the hail.

I really wish this was the end of the story...but alas, it is not.

I filled the one jug of water and got my groceries. By the time I left, it was down to a sprinkle, which was practically heaven in comparison to my trip INTO the store. I unload the groceries into the back and then hoist the 41.8 lbs (yes, i googled it) of water into the van on the floor behind the driver seat.

And then it happened.

CRACK!!!.....GUSH!!!

It is then that I start talking to myself.

"oh. oh my goodness. oh no. oh Gaaaawwwd. It's water. Oh no. It's everywhere. What should I do? Oh, please stop. please, please stop. you're not stopping. I said stop...please."

I then tip the jug upside down (yes, as in, stand it on the 2 inch wide opening with the little plastic lid). When I do this, it stops leaking. By now, I am crouching in the back of the van trying to decide what to do. I start thinking about what horrible decision making abilities I showed 2 hrs earlier, so I call Josh.

Me: uhhh. hi
J: hiii
Me: soooo. I broke one of the water jugs.
J: OK
Me: it was filled with water.
J: OK
Me: and it was in the van.
J: (losing his patience by now) OOOOOOKAY
Me: and it was the only one I filled.
J: Jesus Christ!
(now who would have thought that THAT would be what set him off?...)
Me: I'm sorry, it was an accident. I think I'm just too strong for my own good.
J: Yah, I bet that's it.
Me: So what should I do?
J: leave it in the parking lot
Me: but then what will we drink?
J: Really?
Me: well, ya know, I could probably just drive home with it like it is now.
J: How is it now?
Me: upside down. Or right side up, depending on which way you want to look at it. ya know...like the glass half empty or half full thing. hehehe.
J: yah. (not at all thinking my shit is funny) just leave it in the parking lot.

So OF COURSE I drove home holding it upside down...

Every time I stopped or sped up water would slosh out all over the place. By the time I got home the 5 gallons of water was down to about 2 1/2 and the van (and myself) was soaked. Josh came out to help me bring things in. He took the water in first and when I got inside with some bags I hear this..

"oh. Oh my God. Oh no. Towels. I need towels. It's water. It's water and it's..oh God...it's EVERYWHERE"

So of course I say...

"But is there a drop to drink?" hehehehe

He did not appreciate my humor. See neither of us really thought through the way the water cooler works. The water goes down into the cooler when the air pushes it down. Now when there is a giant crack creating an ever abundant flow of air...and in turn, WATER, there is an issue. The water was spilling up over the top of the water cooler. EVERYWHERE.

"So just pull the water jug off the water cooler" you're saying. Oh sure. Easy enough. Except we did that and the little part in the center of the lid (like the one on the other jug from the beginning of the story) had been pushed into the jug. So to recap...when it's on the cooler the water comes out over the top. when it was out and upside down, the water was coming out of the lid and when we flipped it over it came out of the crack. So there we are in the kitchen, soaked to the bone trying to plug a hole and a crack with all of our hands ("that's what she said"). We ended up with it on its side over the sink, but by now, it had more like 1 gallon of water left.

Now if you didn't laugh at that, I blame myself...I really should have stopped and taken video ;-).

a sneak peek..

2010-09-10T14:24:00.002-04:00

of our family pictures with a great girl I went to high school with. She is really awesome and did a great job. It's officially impossible to get a pic of all 5 of us looking super duper amazing (which clearly we all do in person ;-). But the first 2 family pics are actually REALLY good. I can't wait to see the rest of them, but wanted to share this with anyone that didn't see my link on facebook. Enjoy!

http://www.amysuzannephotographic.com/blog/

awesome day

2010-09-06T18:56:00.002-04:00

**this post has no pictures because I forgot to bring the camera. However, we took mental pictures all day long a la...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-MfVmfm9V8

So Saturday we went to the fair. Usually, it's just an excuse to eat food that's really bad for us and make fun of people (does anyone know why the freaks come out in masses to fairs?). We like to play "did ya see" on the way home. "did ya see the 400lb lady in the tube top and spandex shorts?" "yes. did ya see the family with 3 kids and none of them had shoes on?". Anyway, it's hard because the kids aren't ever tall enough to ride any rides (except the ponies, which they ride about 5 times each). But this time they were finally over 3 ft tall, which meant RIDES! Plus, the weather was absolutely perfect (about 67 and sunny). We ended up having a REALLY great day.

As soon as we got there, we put the girls on the ferris wheel. Sophia laughed hysterically the whole time. To say she loved it, would be an understatement. Meanwhile, next to her was Maria SOBBING "get me down from here!!!" (keep in mind, this was the kiddie one and she was no more than 10 ft off the ground). Jack kept saying "WEEEEEE!" every time they went by. As soon as they got off of that Sophia was ready for some more so we went over to the little swing ride (just goes in a circle). And Maria didn't want any part of that one either. While on that, Sophia catches a glimpse of a kiddie roller coaster and it was like a moth to a flame. She kept chanting "roller coaster" like she was in a trance. It was hilarious. So while on that Maria was down on land with us about to have a panic attack that something would happen to Sophia while she was on the roller coaster. She practically ran up and got her off of it herself when it was over. It was clear that Maria wasn't going to ride any more rides, so we let Sophia ride a few more by herself and then we headed over to the "big slides" (one of the few things she will ride). The bad part about those is that Josh has to ride down with each of them because they have to be 42" to go down alone (Maria has 2 more inches to go and Sophia has about 5 more. fingers crossed for next year). So anyway, it's 8 freakin tickets ($8) just for each of them to go down once :-P Anyway, then it was the main event...riding the ponies! After that, we ended up actually finding a bench (rare) and being able to sit down to eat. Then we left Josh there with his friends and dad to watch his 2nd tractor pull of the weekend while I took the kids home (one of those things he likes to do with his friends every year while I'm at home watching Christmas movies or scrapbooking :-).
Oh and on the way home I noticed that the sunset was absolutely beautiful. Just a perfect end to an awesome day!

Jack in the box

2010-09-01T09:38:00.002-04:00

I had totally intended to do an 18 month post about our little Jack-in-the-box in July, when it was actually happening. But somehow I forgot. (Bad Mommy!) Anyway, here are a few things that I want to remember about Jackson as he is right now

When he knows he's doing something wrong he starts nodding "yes" before I can even start shaking my head "no". He looks so darn cute doing it that I almost don't want to say "no" at all.
When Josh pulls in the driveway he runs through the house screaming (at the top of his little lungs) "DAAAAAAAAD!"
His favorite new words are "CHEESE!" and "what?". The way he says "what?" to the girls is so stinkin cute there are no words for it. He sounds like me or something (not that I am even remotely cute, it's just cute b/c he is "parenting" his 2 older sisters).
His favorite old words are "uh oh" and "daaaaaad" (Josh and I are BOTH daaaaad, in case you were wondering).
He is attached to me ALL.THE.TIME. I hate to call him a mama's boy for fear that he will read this in 15 yrs and be mortified, but alas, it's the truth.
Favorite foods include goldfish, fruit snacks, blueberry waffles, mac & cheese and any variety of Gerber ravioli.
Favorite toys include anything he's been told "no" about a hundred times such as, the trash, the recycling, the shoes, any food in the bottom shelf of the pantry, folded clothes, the button on the fans (even after it's been unplugged), anything in any of the kitchen cabinets and anything the girls are currently playing with.
Newest tricks: opening doors, putting his (and the girls, if they let him) clothes in the correct hampers (one for darks and one for lights), taking off his diaper in bed and smearing poo all over his bed (obviously, this one is my *favorite*) and turning off/on the TV with the stolen remote that he is holding behind the couch so I can't see him (though, I can hear him b/c he's giggling about it the whole time).
He's a big freaking flirt. I don't know how he knows the difference between a pretty girl and a not so pretty girl. But he does and he only flirts with the pretty ones (however, he does not discriminate based on age. I've seen him go for quite a few classy older gals too). Going to the grocery store with this kid is about like I'd imagine taking him to a hooters will be in 15 yrs. They just flock to him and he loves every minute of it. He poses and bats his eye lashes and tries to kiss them and smiles. It's hilarious and horrifying all at the same time.
He has recently earned the nickname "the high stepper" because of the way he marches all around the house kicking his legs out as high as he can in front of him. No idea where this came from but it's here and it's funny as hell. (Unless, of course, he got it from one of his nazi friends, in which case we'll be putting a stop to it right away).

***As I sit here and type this he is pressing his face up against the screen in the window screaming "daaaaad" because he hears the neighbor mowing his lawn. pre-shus! lol

Dear Beach

2010-08-29T19:38:00.005-04:00

We miss you.

That is all.

And a couple funnies...

Myrtle Beach Restaurant Reviews

2010-08-26T12:22:00.001-04:00

These restaurant reviews are in chronological order from our trip last week (August 14, 2010-August 21, 2010). I have also thrown in a review of Ripley's Aquarium which we also visited. Now keep in mind, that Josh and I don't eat seafood, which is really big down there, so I have no first hand knowledge about that. I'm putting the links at the end of this post because I'm lazy and I don't feel like making a linky for every single one lol.

Angelo's Steak and Pasta
Ok, this place is rated pretty high on trip advisor and we went to the early bird dinner ($11 from 4-6, I believe), so we figured it would be a good bet for our first night. And for all intents and purposes it was pretty good. I (and the kids, though they were free) had the buffet. However, due to the kids attitudes (after being trapped in the car for 13 hrs) I didn't really get to enjoy very much of the food except some of the Italian sausage and pasta which was really good. The buffet is not very big at all (10 items-ish, not including sauces) and it isn't a serve yourself type of deal. There is someone up there and you ask them for what you want, which I found very odd. I mean it's nice, because there aren't a bunch of ppl up there sneezing on your food, but it was like I was asking permission to eat something I already bought. IDK, it was probably just me, but I thought it was strange. Josh had a steak and even though they tout having the "best steak in the universe", he says it was nothing special. Just a steak with not much flavor (though it was very tender and cooked properly). Another thing to mention is that the kids, while their dinners were free, their milks were $2.50 each (I guess they have to make their money somewhere). So for 1 early bird buffet, 1 steak, 1 beer, 3 kids milks and tip (they included it which I CANNOT STAND because we always tip 20% so they end up shorting themselves, and it said that they do it for groups of 10 or more and we only had 9, all with separate bills, so I guess we just looked cheap or something lol) it was $43. One of the cheapest meals we had and I would give it probably 3-4 stars

Crabby Mikes
In my opinion, this was the second best meal we ate. I easily could have gone here 3 or 4 times that week and had something different each time. First of all, after 5 o'clock they have a DJ outside to entertain the crowd that is waiting which is really nice and makes it seem to go faster. The place has a very cool ambiance and the kids were staring at all the fish and stuff hanging up on the ceiling. They start you off with hush puppies and honey butter (I could have made a meal out of these, and Jack practically did). The buffet has anything you could think of including prime rib. Now, I know what you're thinking, buffet prime rib...umm no thanks. But it was very tender and juicy (they give you the au jus) and it was equally as good as a prime rib dinner I ordered from a steak place later in the week. Also there are plenty of other meat and side options and there is any kind of sea food you could want (mostly fried, but lots of it wasn't) and the kids almost ate them out of fruit (4 PLATES EACH!). I tried crab for the first time (not a fan of the texture, but at least I can say I tried it, now and it did taste very fresh). I got a margarita at every dinner except for Angelo's and this one was the best. You could really taste the alcohol in it (a lot of places try to skimp thinking you wont notice b/c it's a mixed drink). Also our waiter was very nice and kept the plates and drinks coming and the restrooms were very clean (oh and when we were walking in a man was coming out of the mens room with toilet paper stuck to his shoe. I was sure that only happened in movies! lol). Each adult buffet was $25, the girls were $5 each and Jack was free. So for dinner for everyone, 1 beer, 1 margarita and not including tip, it was $72. And I could easily give them 5 stars.

Latitude 22/River City Cafe (the one at surfside beach)
Ok, there was a bit of confusion about this place in the beginning because up until this summer (or maybe even part of this summer) this was Latitude 22 (Caribbean food etc). However when we got there we were told that it is now River City Cafe (which is why we passed it...twice). We reluctantly decided to stay even though it was obviously just burgers and fries. It is beach front and you can eat outside overlooking the beach, if you want, which is nice. The tables/chairs/walls/floors are covered with customer graffiti and peanut shells. It has a definite beach-side lunch feel and the waitress said that's their really busy time. I had the BBQ bacon cheeseburger and it was huge and really good (though, the general consensus was that the burgers were overdone, we like a little pink and some juice to run down your chin lol). Each meal comes with tons of hand cut fries (think fair fries). We got all three of the kids their own meals (1 chicken, 1 hot dog and 1 grilled cheese), Josh and I got burgers, 1 beer and 1 margarita (prob 2nd best all week) and the bill was only $38 before tip. The food came fast, everyone left full and happy and it was obviously cheap. There was a bit of disappointment in the beginning, but if you know what kind of place it is before you go there, it is worthy of 4 stars, FOR WHAT IT IS. Not fancy or pretentious just burgers and sandwiches and fries in a casual, beachfront atmosphere. Oh and also, our waitress was really great too.

After we left River City, we took the kids to
Ripleys Aquarium
We had to wait in line just to get tickets to get into the place. I sort of thought it would be less busy at night when most people are at dinner, but IDK, maybe it's better during the day? Anyway, while waiting in line, the girls had to pee (of course). They actually let us in to pee, which was really nice. I'm sure if we were dishonest, we could have just stayed and they never would have known. So I was glad they saw that it was an emergency and not a con lol. The restrooms were nice (however you have to go down 3 ramps just to get there :-P). Once in there we realized that you CAN bring strollers in (a lot of aquariums wont let you) so Josh went BACK out to the car to get Jacks stroller (what a good daddy). Right after we got there, we sort of ended up in this dive show (rainbow rock?) and that was pretty cool. They only have a few of them a day, so I guess we just got lucky and happened to be there right when it started. Then we went and looked around. We all really enjoyed it because we like animals and stuff like that. The girls LOVED walking through the shark tunnel (it's really long too so you don't feel gypped). The one thing that we weren't able to even see was the new exhibit they have called "lethal weapons" or something like that. It was PACKED and originally we thought it was a line, but no. It's just 500 ppl crammed into a tiny room and never moving. I thought I lost the kids about 15 times b/c it's impossible to even move in there alone, let alone holding 2 little girls hands. We ended up leaving that room and I know Josh was disappointed in that. I'm sure it's cool, but you just can't even see the tanks and stuff. It was $50 for all of us (Jack was free, the girls were $4 each and we were $19 EACH!, which I think is probably how they make their money, since the kids can't come in alone lol). Speaking of making money, my only REAL complaint on the place is that you are not allowed to leave without going through the gift shop. I mean, I'm no idiot, I get it, they are trying to get you to give in to your kids and buy some stupid $15 stuffed animal they don't need. And trust me, I'm no push-over, I know how to say no to my kids (unlike some people). But the point is, why should I have to put a sour end to a perfectly lovely visit to the aquarium? Everything was fine and dandy until I had to say "no you don't need that" 100 times in a row for the last 5 minutes trying get through the gift shop maze just to get out of the place (it's not even a straight shot, you have to practically go around every single thing in the store). For this reason alone, I would not recommend this place to families with small children. Sorry, but until they can make the gift shop optional, we will not be back. I don't appreciate being hustled, it just left a bad taste in my mouth.

T-Bonz
I have heard lots of good things about this place and we were surprised by the decent prices when we looked at the menu. We didn't have to wait to be seated (but this was the case with everywhere we went because we usually got there by 5 so the kids could be eating at their normal dinnertime). I got a half rack of ribs and a margarita. Josh got the "drunken ribeye" and beer, we got all three of the kids a macaroni and cheese dinner (BIG mistake, b/c it's HUGE and comes with fries. talk about carbo-loading. how about a vegetable or some applesauce?) The waiter was good. The ribs were fine. The steak was fine. My mother in-law said her chicken was dry. IDK but we just left kinda feeling like we could have had a better steak dinner at Texas Roadhouse in our town in Ohio. I'm sure that for the locals, it's good, but for us, it seemed like a waste of time when we're only there for a week. I cannot remember exactly how much that dinner was, but I think it was about $85 which was fine since we took home the equivelant of a box of macaroni and cheese and an entire loaf of bread lol. I would say probably 3-4 stars for tourists, and a solid 4 for locals.

J. Edwards
OK, again we were here at what is considered early bird dinner so the menu is smaller and the portions are smaller. I got the 10 oz prime rib and a margarita, Josh got the 20 OZ(!!!!) prime rib (he had to ask b/c it's on the regular menu only) and beer and we split one child's pizza dinner (like the size of a personal pan pizza and it came with fries and he gave us some bread sticks too) between all three of the kids. The desserts looked soooo good and I probably easily could have taken one home, but resisted since I had just had prime rib lol. I would say that the prime rib was really good, probably 4 stars, (however, only equally good when compared to Crabby Mikes because all of the flavor was in the au jus instead of on the meat itself). It was cooked really well (we both ordered med rare and they were both "still kickin", as we say). When the bill came it was $75. They did include tip, but we added another $5 just because it's one of those family owned places his family has been going to forever and the service was pretty good. All around, I'd give it 4 1/2 stars.

Bennetts Calabash Buffet (the one at 9701 N. Kings Hwy)
One big meh. In my opinion this was cruise food. In other words, food made for masses of people that doesn't need to be good, it just has to fill up their stomachs and get them out the door. It was fine, I guess but the add says "120 items" and I'm just wondering if that's counting each and every fried shrimp or what, because there was definitely NOT 120 items. A LOT of the food tasted like KFC. Like the mac & cheese and the seasoning on the breading. It just was...meh. Nothing special at all. In my opinion it was a waste of time. I got the kids chicken tenders and I could hardly cut them with the fork and knife. I did have 2 slices of prime rib because that was actually pretty descent and had some flavor (though no spoon to get any of the au jus???). The T-Bone steaks looked about as hard as rocks so I didn't touch them and I mostly just ate the prime rib and the hush puppies. I forgot to ask anyone that ate the seafood how it was, so **Linda if you had any, feel free to comment on that. Also, the floors were sticky and my margarita was just one big giant shot of tequila (maybe they were trying to liquor me up so I wouldn't notice the food...) Here's the kicker, the buffet is $27 PER PERSON and the kids were $6 each, I think. So total was about $75. For that kind of money, I would expect something MUCH better than that. I would say that 3 stars is MORE than generous and they only get that because the prime rib was decent and I'd rather have all liquor than none at all ;-)

Rioz Brazilian Steakhouse
This is a place that we had heard of through my parents. They go every year to Myrtle Beach and sort of accidentally went here last year. When they walked in, they asked how much it was, because it looked so nice, and were shocked to hear "$35 per person". They decided they'd go somewhere else but as they were leaving the hostess stopped them and said "what can we do to make you stay". They said, "well it's not that, it's just a little more than we had planned to spend tonight". The owner/manager came out and told them, he'd give them 10% off their meal if they'd stay because "our policy is to not let anyone leave before they've tried the food". So they stayed. And they came home just RAVING about it, so we had always planned on going. We were elated to find out that children under 6 are free. (however, in my opinion they should also have a reduced price for children 7-12 because we would never be able to bring the kids when they are over 6). The waiter explained how it worked when we got seated and he said "see if the kids will eat what we have, but if they wont we have food for the small children too. I got them each a plate of the side dishes that were up there and they did eat some of it because they are used to eating a lot of veggies and stuff. But jack just wasn't happy with polenta, mashed potatoes and vegetable salad. Before I could even ask the waiter for some kids food, he just appeared, with plates of mac & cheese, chicken tenders and french fries. It was like magic and I loved it. lol. After Josh and I were done with our side dishes they came and gave us new clean plates and we flipped over our coaster to the green side, which means you are ready for the meat service to start. And oh.em.gee did it ever start! It was amazing. I could hardly keep up with all of the different "gauchos" with all of these different meats on skewers and they'd ask you if you'd like some and they just slice it off onto your plate. Oh my goodness, it was easily the best meal I've ever eaten in my life (and that's saying a lot because I'm a foodie and I'm hard to please when it comes to food). I don't know what the seasoning is that they use but it is soooo delicious. And the meat is sooooo tender and cooked perfectly it just cut like butter. My favorite was the garlic beef, oh and the filet mignon. But the bacon wrapped chicken and bacon wrapped steak medalions were also amazing. Oh who am I kidding, it was ALL amazing! I was actually glad that I hadn't liked very much of the side dishes on the buffet, because I was already stuffed by the end. It was hard because the food was sooo good and you just want to keep eating, but you can't. We did also, get desserts and brought them home. My chocolate mousse cake was just amazing!! Josh's turtle cheesecake met an untimely demise in the cooler on the way back to Ohio. It was rescued, but still wasn't all that great. I think there was just a LOT of cheesecake and not much crust/topping so the ratio wasn't right. SO, for 2 dinners, 1 margarita, 1 beer and 2 desserts, before tip, it was $105 and WELL worth it. Now, I'm just not sure what we'll do if we go back when the kids are older lol. Oh and the strangest thing is, it's owned by the same people that own T-Bonz, but we had two totally different experiences. Anyway, Rioz is an easy 5 stars. The only time I would NOT recommend it is if you are a picky eater who also doesn't like much meat or if all of your kids are in the 7-12 range and don't eat very much.

http://www.angelosteakandpasta.com/

http://www.crabbymikes.com/

http://www.rivercitycafe.com/

http://myrtlebeach.ripleyaquariums.com/

http://www.tbonzgillandgrill.com/

http://www.jedwardsgreatribs.com/

http://www.bennettscalabash.net/

http://www.rioz.com/

Vacation by the numbers

2010-08-24T10:10:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm stealing this from Danifred because it was such a great idea

5: number of new words jack learned while on vacation (CHEESE!, all done, water, up and down)
26: total number of hours in the car
5,279: number of times we were asked "when are we gonna get there"
3: total hours sitting in traffic
2: number of screens attached to our new DVD player
3: number of screens we needed
4: DVD's watched by the girls in the car
2: new toys Jack got for the trip
1,467,598: shells the girls collected
83: shells that were unbroken (and almost all of those were collected by Maria)
9: people in the beach house
5: bedrooms in the beach house
7: new t-shirts
236: photos taken by me
7: photos taken by Josh
78: bottles of water consumed
12: games of "hand and foot" we played
3: times I called it "foot and mouth"
23: attempts at a good family picture on the beach
0: actual number of good family pics on the beach
4,762,485: granules of sand Jackson ate or got in his eyes
1: bottle of spf 65 we used up
1: bottle of spf 40 we used up
6: days on the beach
7: dinners out
5: times the kids ate macaroni and cheese
7: loads of beach laundry
3: number of loads that were Sophia's sheets!
3,894,512: waves enjoyed by ALL
23: waves that knocked me down
2: waves that knocked Joshs Grandma down!
16: beers Josh drank
6: margaritas I drank
4: plates of fruit the girls EACH ate after dinner at Crabby Mikes after our first full day on the beach
1: day it took for the girls to ask "can we go to the beach" after we got home
50: times we've talked about where we're going next year

a few pics...

2010-08-23T16:20:00.000-04:00

Just a few of my favorite pics from vacation.

(I promise I will have an actual blog post coming tomorrow. I just swear there aren't enough hours in the day!)

She said "Mommy, take my picca. Do I look beautiful?" I said "always"

I didn't realize it at the time, but i took about twice as many pics of Jack than the girls and almost every single one is amazing.

Could she be any more beautiful? seriously. And btw when the heck did she grow up so fast!?

All of us that stayed in the beach house for the week (Us, Joshs mom and little brother and his grandparents)

Brilliance

2010-07-31T16:48:00.004-04:00

Here's a little brilliance I found over on Danifreds blog and just had to share over here.

I would also like to add that all of that is for ONE child. When you have 2 or 3 and they are all very young and very close in age you can add what half of my day is consumed with...FIGHTING and WHINING! (and not having enough hands to even go out in public alone because they are too young to walk by themselves in the company of strangers and moving vehicles).

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-07-23T16:59:00.002-04:00

Is it Friday already!? OMG this week went so fast for me. Anyway, here are my leftovers

I ordered 20 Cleveland Browns tickets today for Nov 7th. I'm surprising Josh this year for his birthday with Tailgating and Browns game with his friends and family instead of just a bonfire. He's been working so hard this year, he really deserves it! Every year he says how great that would be, so this year, he's getting it! BTW, I have no idea how to tell him about it. Any good ideas would be appreciated.
My house is a mess. No, seriously, a disaster area. There are toys all over the house, the dishwasher needs done and I have two loads of laundry on the couch waiting to be folded. It's been so flipping hot today, though that I can't even begin to do any of it, especially after a day of chasing after 3 little ones.
Vacation countdown...3 weeks! :D I.CAN'T.WAIT. (and neither can the kids, btw)
You know what I hate? HYPOCRISY. I hate it like nothing else in this world. Like when someone creates drama out of nothing and then they bitch about other people starting drama just to make themselves look better. I just hate that. Or like when someone tries to make up with them and they say they aren't interested, then they go around saying that they wish that person would make up with them. Or like when someone says that they are a good Christian and they go around saying that anyone who doesnt have a college education is useless or that stay at home moms (and dads) are setting a bad example for their kids because they are lazy and unmotivated. Not very "Christian" is it. Just sayin.
I bought a winter coat today. It's 98 degrees outside. But it was on sale and I haven't had a winter coat in 2 years that actually fit, plus I had a gift card from my birthday I still haven't used. Totally justified. (also I NEVER buy clothes for myself...hence the 2 years thing).

The runner

2010-07-22T09:22:00.002-04:00

Dear Jackson,
Here is a list of times and places when running is appropriate.

You are being chased by a dog, serial killer, debt collector. Really ANY time you're being chased
You are on the track team
Your house is on fire
Your car is about to explode
Someone is trying to have sex with you and you are under the age of....40 ;-)

And here is a list of times that your running was not appreciated

You wanted to see the cows, but your daddy didn't know that...
You wanted to see Grandmas neighbors backyard while she was playing with your sisters and Dakota
You wanted to visit your Grandpa and Linda but everyone else was going inside
You saw something shiny...across the street, while we were at the park

We have definitely had some close calls because of your running, and I would appreciate it if from now on you would take daddy and I seriously when we scream "Jack, stop!". The giggling is cute, but could definitely get dangerous once you get faster than us.

Way back Wednesday

2010-07-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

As promised, a WBW post. If you'd like to join in and do one of your own, post 1 to 1,000,000 old family pics, stories, whatever and then just link back to me.

This is Joshs Grandma Shirley, her sister and their Mom in about 1926.

This is a portrait of Shirley that she sent to Bob when they were dating (it was in one of the love letters and then I found an 8X10 of the same photo). I just think it's so gorgeous and I really think that other than her nose, Maria looks a lot like her.

This is not the greatest picture but it is her parents at her and Bobs wedding. Her mom looks so incredibly British here, it just cracks me up.
This is Shirleys Grandfather who has a truly amazing life story that I will share with you all one day. This was probably taken around 1905.

And now, the most amazing one of all. This would be Shirleys Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather who lived from 1688-1769 and was a Reverend in England. I actually got a tear in my eye when I found this. The original is still hanging in the church where he preached.

friday night leftovers

2010-07-09T14:18:00.002-04:00

The leftover action is back and I'm getting back into it too.

Josh hit the old family photo motherload a couple nights ago at his grandma's house. He brought back some of the most beautiful pictures and a year of love letters between his grandparents that brought me to tears more than once. I always knew that their love was real, but wow. And the more I read, the more I see that she and I were a LOT alike. I have an entire letter here that she wrote in 1947, that I EASILY could have written last week (except for all the "shall's"). Anyway, I'm planning on starting my "way-back wednesdays" back up, if people still like them.
I've been GLUED to ancestry.com for the last week (I got 2 weeks free). I'm trying to get as much out of it as I can because I really don't want to pay for it (yes, I am THAT cheap lol). I've done REALLY well, too and I actually think I'll be "done" (if that's ever possible) by next week.
My bestie of 20 YEARS (omg, I'm old! I can't believe I've had a friend since I was 6!) came to town and I was soo happy she agreed to meet us at the park on Tuesday. I had already promised the girls we'd go. So it was really nice to catch up with her. If you'd like to follow along with her she just started blogging about her life, hubby, family, IF issues, etc. at www.lifeonwindyhill.blogspot.com
It's been so un-Godly H.O.T.T. here, that I can't even freaking stand it. Summer is generally not my favorite time of year (it's all the sweating and the feeling dirty all.the.time.), but DEFINITELY not when it's 98 degrees every flippin day. And when we don't have central air, it's downright unbearable. The rain today was supposed to cool it off, but no such luck. "Cooled off" is 84 and HUMID...blargh. Call me when it's fall. THAT is when I'll be back to my happy self again.

Total awesomeness

2010-07-05T08:28:00.005-04:00

I don't know about you all, but we had a GREAT 4th of July. Seriously, the best holiday we've had in a long time (IDK if you've noticed but holidays don't really like us/me too much).

Saturday Josh didn't have to work! Yes folks, that's right we got an actual weekend Memorial day weekend AND 4th of July weekend. It was soooo nice. We literally did nothing. It feels like we or Josh always have something to do, so it was really nice to spend the day doing nothing. Then that night the kids and I came in to relax and Josh went up to the farm to help them out baling hay.

Sunday we went over to Joshs moms house and had a really relaxing picnic with all of that side of the family. I got some good info on his grandparents so I can finally start on their side of the genealogy. I've got a really good starting point and they told me I could come over this week and get some pictures and apparantly they have a book with a bunch of info in it. Anyway, we just spent the afternoon hanging out and talking. Then we left there and went to the park we always go to for fireworks and stuff. We got sooo incredibly lucky and actually got a parking spot near where we sat. Granted, we had to drive around 3 times and I had to stand in the spot while Josh came back around, which got some nasty looks, but IDK what we would have done otherwise.

The girls played on the playground

and got their faces painted (I think Sophia's going to be in the paper getting hers done).

and went in the bouncy house and DIDN'T get to ride on a pony because they were only there for 2 hours and they packed up at the speed of light (7:03...."we packed them up at 7"...). Anyway, once they got over that disappointment (and I decided not to be too mad about it) we went and played on another playground and just hung out until the fireworks started. OH and the best part...the people watching. Going to an event like this (where the hoopies come out in full force) really makes us feel better about ourselves. It's times like those when we see how incredibly smart and pretty and classy we really are. Oh and our kids are quite possibly the best in the world (at least it felt that way) LOL. We left with so much self confidence we were almost full of ourselves. Hopefully it'll last until next year...or at least until the fair. ;-)

The fireworks were AH-MAZING as they always are. (however, impossible to get a picture of)

I was soooo incredibly happy listening to the girls giggling and Jack ohh-ing while we watched them. It was a perfect moment in life that I'll always remember. And about 10 minutes into it Sophia stops giggling and she looks at me with a serious look on her face, puts her hand on my arm and says....."mommy...can I have another twizzler". :D It was perfect. It was just so, Pia to be thinking about food at that moment. It was great. And the funniest thing was the end when we were literally throwing everything in the car (including the kids) trying to get out before the crowd starts leaving, because at that point it's just a lost cause and we would just wait until it's all over (like last year). So we finally get in the car after all that and we're sweating and out of breath and laughing so hard and we pull out and Maria says "Mommy, what is wrong with you guys! Why you running all around and being so silly with Daddy!". I said "because, it is a little known fact, that I am, in fact, a silly mommy". She says "No Mommy, I already know you silly".

getting back in the game

2010-07-01T11:28:00.005-04:00

OK, I'm quite sure you've all noticed my horrid blogging practices lately. I mean 3 posts in a month? Totally unacceptable! I'm ashamed of myself. Ok, not quite, but I do feel like I need to get back in the game a little bit here. So I'll be trying my hardest to blog 3 times a week, even if it's just something short and sweet, it'll be something.

Fathers day came and went without major event. We moved Josh's mom into her new house that weekend, then we went back over there to help her with some stuff. Then we visited with his dad for a little while. It was difficult because he had to work until about 9:00 so as soon as he got home we got the girls shoes on and headed over. As we were walking over we saw that Josh's brothers wife pulled in with her kids so we had to turn around and go back home. We sat there waiting (keeping the kids up waaaaay past their bedtimes) for them to leave. After a half an hour we finally just decided to go over and completely ignore her. After a little while, she finally got the hint and left. But still, it was almost 10 o'clock so the girls didn't get to bed until after 10:30, which I don't think they've ever done. We were sitting there trying to talk and they were begging to go home and go to bed. So that night Josh and I talked about how maybe we should sit down and talk with them (Travis and Candy) to try to make up. I mean after the things she has said and done, we wont ever be best friends, but the least we could do is try to work through some of it to try to make up. I emailed Josh's brother the next day and 2 days later he sent me an email back that said they have no intention of EVER making up with us. nice. So needless to say when I read the email to Josh he was beyond disappointed in his brother and what he has become since being with that woman.

However, in spite of that, it was still a relaxing weekend and it was great to see a REAL father in action. We are soooo lucky to have Josh. I can't tell him that enough. I'm sure my friends on facebook get sick of hearing it, but I really don't care. We are blessed to have each other and have such love in our home that so many other people don't have. We have chosen to raise our kids differently than I was raised. We shower our kids with love and compliments. We will try to build the bonds between them, instead of forcing them to take sides. And he would never dream of going a year without seeing them. I am so happy to have Josh as my partner in this life. And the kids will grow up knowing how lucky they are to have him as their father.

Last weekend Josh went over and offered to cut down a dead tree in his dads yard because he was worried about someone getting hurt. Branches kept just randomly falling down (and when I say branches, I mean HUGE tree limbs). So that was quite a sight. Every time he would cut a limb down, it would come crashing to the ground into little pieces and the kids would yell over there from our deck "ooooooohh!" lol. It was really cute. They didn't get all the way finished, but probably halfway.

Yes, I know it's Wednesday

2010-06-16T20:16:00.003-04:00

I know it's not Friday, but I feel like I need to post since I've slacked for the last couple weeks and I don't have enough for a full post. So here are my leftovers.

Jackson has started getting a little...ok, a LOT possessive of me. I'm obviously happy that all my kids love me so much, but the boy is starting some UFC-type battles over who gets to sit on my lap/hold my hand/lay their head on my leg. It's cute and scary all at the same time. The girls are used to getting my full affection, and they aren't too keen on the competition. LOL
Ummm what the hell is up with this gulf coast oil spill crap? I mean, come on people! They should have had this stuff cleaned up right after it happened. There were about 50 different GREAT ideas, but they were "too expensive". Well, I bet those options are looking pretty good right about now, aren't they. And where the heck is Obama during this. He wants to stick his nose in every business in the country, but the ONE time it's needed, he wimps out.
The girls were cracking us up tonight digging for and playing with worms in their dresses. They just HAD to wear these dresses (and of course bows). But they're out there for 2 minutes and they're covered in dirt and playing with the worms like a couple of boys. It was great. It's just so...them. They can be very girly girls and they can be the biggest tom-boys at the same time. We heart them.
I watched a couple episodes of Bridezillas the other day, and the same thought kept going through my head...what kind of man would marry these women!? Planning my wedding was the easiest thing I've ever done. Josh and I never had a single fight over anything. And if I had treated him or my family or friends the way these women, do I would EXPECT for the guy to leave me. I always wonder how many of these marriages make it through the first two years.
I received the official e-mail from my step-dad today. They don't want anything to do with us anymore. I told him that all I need is an apology from my mom about the way she treated me my whole life (and on Mothers Day) and he said "you had a great childhood, I don't know what you're talking about". Ooooookay then. There's nothing I can say back to that steaming pile of crap, so I said "I'm done" and he said "well have a nice life then". Of course that was after he threatened to beat the shit out of Josh. ya. really nice. IDK. I'm emotionally drained from the situation and I don't know what to say anymore. I know the truth and they can continue to believe what they want to believe. I can't change them. I'm "giving it to God" as my friend would say.
Josh is contemplating selling his truck and his car (hot rods, not everyday vehicles) and putting all the money towards something more "practical" (something with a back seat for the kids so we don't have to drive seperately to car shows and stuff). He had some issues with his truck on Sunday on the way out the driveway to a car show. He finally (after an hour...or more) got it running and made it to the gas station, but ran into some...uh problems when he tried to start it up again. He ended up having to have the thing towed back home by some of his friends. We'll see what, if anything, ends up happening with that.

a fine line

2010-06-05T17:20:00.000-04:00

I think that in life, we all walk very fine lines. We do it with everything, big and small. How much to work, and how much to play. Not being able to forgive or forgiving too easily. Not letting yourself have enough fun or having too much fun (come on, we've all been there!). When to hold a grudge and when to be the "let go and let live". How much to say and how much to hold back.

I've constantly struggled with the last one. I feel like no matter how much I hold back, everyone else always says whatever they want to/about me, so what's the point in me trying to be the "bigger person". I'm constantly biting my tongue when I'm with family or in-laws. They do or say things to me that they would just DIE if I said to them. I feel like screaming "It's called self-awareness...GET SOME!" Then of course, there's that time when you say something you've been holding on to for.ev.er. and the minute the words leave your lips you wish you could take take them back.

In order to prevent this from happening, I wrote my mother a letter...an 8 page letter...that was edited from 9 1/2 pages. I wrote this letter over a week ago and it's been sitting on the dining room table since then. I just can't decide if it's too much or not enough. I mean, we're talking about a lifetime of shit here. Of course, how much do I need to let go of and just forgive (even though there was never an apology).

I mentioned before, I think I'm going through a "funk" right now. I can't stop thinking of moving and getting the hell away from all of these people. I mean, is there any proof that spending 26 years surrounded by crazy people will eventually make you insane? I may be an interesting case study, if so. I feel like I just can't win. No matter what I do or say, it's wrong. No matter how I feel about something, I'm told not to have those feelings. I'm an adult, and yet I sit here worrying soooo much about what my parents and my in-laws think about me and say about me behind my back. What the hell do I care? I shouldn't! And yet, when I'm surrounded by people only telling me what I'm doing wrong, it's hard for me to see that I've done anything right. At this point, the only positive things in my life are Josh and the kids. If I didn't get the compliments from them that I get, I'd be in Seattle right now. I just feel like telling everyone else to go to hell. And the more I keep these things from them, the more I worry that I might just blurt that out at the next family dinner. I've got friends I haven't actually seen since high school that care more about me than my own family does. All they seem to care about is blaming me for LITERALLY everything. Then when I do try to talk to someone about it, they don't care, all they want to talk about is their own made up issues or the weather.

I'm walking a fine line between making myself happy and making everyone else happy. Where is the middle. Is there a middle?

a couple things...

2010-05-31T09:33:00.004-04:00

So, Daddy built them a swing set last weekend and it's been the cause for lots and lots of giggles all week...from everyone in the house. It's 10ft tall. No joke. Because Josh thought 8ft wouldn't be quite tall enough for our 3ft tall children lol. We've both been making jokes about it ever since it went up. He came in the house and goes "uhhh hey, could you call Labron James to come hang up these swings for me". I go out there and see it with my own eyes. I say "hunny, you know the kids are ours right?" (he's 5'5" and I'm 5'2"...and Maria has a medical condition literally called "short stature"). He hung up the swings with the original chain that they came with and they came up to the girls heads...cue jokes, and jokes, and jokes... Anyway, after 8ft of extra chain, it's great and I can't wait until next year when we build the tower and slide part.

Me and Pia pants hanging out outside. (no, I wont cut her bangs, I'm trying to grow them out, they're just in an awkward phase right now)

This picture cracks me up. I love the teeth and the squinty eyes. Precious.

Maria had her last day of school on Wed. Yes, I cried...I sobbed in fact. Hey, they played the song "let them be little" and read a poem entitled "we give them back to you". Trust me, they wanted some tears...and they got them. She has grown sooooo much since the first day of school. She has really come a long way in the last 9 months.

Maria on the first day...

and on the last.

The girls on the first day...

and on the last day.

big tear...

Things I'm interested in

2010-05-29T12:48:00.009-04:00

"We did not think of the great open plains, the beautiful rolling hills, and the winding streams with tangled growth as wild. Only to the white man was nature a wilderness and only to him was the land infested with wild animals and savage people. To us it was tame. Earth was bountiful and we were surrounded with the blessings of the Great Mystery. Not until the hairy man from the east came and with brutal frenzy heaped injustices upon us and the families we loved was it wild for us. When the very animals of the forest began fleeing from his approach, then it was for us that the Wild West began."

-Luther Standing Bear, Sioux Chief

This picture of him, breaks my heart a little bit. He was one of the children taken from his home and put in the Carlisle Indian School. They were punished for speaking their own language and wearing their own clothes. Their hair was cut (which was a HUGE deal for them because they would only do that in times of great mourning). Their parents were told that they were going there to learn how to speak and write English. They had no idea what they really wanted was for them to "forsake the ways of their fathers".

Luther, Standing Bear ended up using the English he learned to write books, sharing with the world the truth of the injustice that was done to his people. He also eventually started acting in some of the original "wild west" movies. His hope was that the "white man" would see how wrong they were. Unfortunately that didn't start to happen until decades after his death.

My favorites

2010-05-24T17:00:00.001-04:00

I got this idea from Danifred (though, if I remember correctly she got it from someone else).

In honor of my birthday, I'm going to do a list of my favorite things.

Hearing "you're the best Mommy in the whooooole world" every day This one's self explanatory. Who wouldn't love that?! However a close second is when they tell me "I will miss yoooou" 15 times in a row, every time I walk out the door. It's precious.
Moose Tracks Ice cream I used to eat it all the time in high school, with my friends at lunch time, and it still brings back memories when I eat it now.
Pawn Stars This show is awesome. It's all my favorite things rolled into one. I'm always drooling over all of the historical stuff people bring in there and I'm always yelling at the TV when they sell it too cheap...or at all (I'm talking about YOU, guy who sold his revolutionary war bond made by Paul Revere for a couple grand and a guitar!!).
Falling in Love by Philosophy. It's my signature scent. Honestly, It's the only perfume I've worn in years...I'm actually running low in case anyone's looking to get me a belated B-Day gift ;-)
History ANY kind of history. I'm always reading, researching, googling, watching documentaries, any way I can get my brain around some good history is good with me. It just really fascinates me how different and yet how similar we are to the people that lived hundreds or even thousands of years ago. I always tell Josh that if we win the lottery, our new house will be like a little mini-museum with all kinds of cool artifacts and antiques.
Jeopardy I know it's corny, but I love watching to see how many answers I know in a show. Everyone's always telling me to try out, which IS on my bucket list, but I've got at least another decade of learning to do before I'd feel really comfortable going for it.
Edward S. Curtis. He's my all-time favorite photographer. Even though he really only photographed one particular genre (Native Americans) he did it so incredibly well, that I can't help but cry when I look at some of his photographs.
***side note*** my birthday gift this year was 2 of his books, a book about our founding fathers and a travel book about Europe...and I couldn't be happier :D

Not sure...

2010-05-23T21:48:00.000-04:00

Right now, I'm not really sure about much. I'm definitely in a funk. I would say that I am only my normal happy, bubbly self half of the time. I'm still mentally trying to process what is going on between my mom and I. It's such and an unusual relationship that really doesn't have a beginning to the crazy. At this point, I'm just hoping it has an end. I'm hoping that she gets some serious help for her anger and learns to control it ASAP. Because as of right now, and the last 26 years, IT'S been controlling HER. It's not healthy (physically) and it certainly hasn't done me any favors.
I feel bad for my sisters, and honestly, I feel kind of bad for myself, which is a bit of an unusual feeling for me. Growing up, I was always the girl that smiled when I wanted to cry and made a joke when I was feeling like giving up. I had a bit of a sappy conversation with Josh about love...REAL love. And how when I met him I had been so brainwashed by my mom that I honestly believed that love meant always agreeing and always giving in and never having your own opinions about anything. My relationship with Josh was the most unusual and eye-opening of my life. HE showed me that two people could disagree and still love each other. We could be our own people and still be in love. We could fight and not have it be the end of our love. With my mom, none of those things are true. They never have been and they never will be.
I feel so incredibly sorry for my sisters right now, because I have been where they are. They say things to me like "you obviously don't love mom or you'd do what she wants" and if Josh and I disagree with something they say, it's "oh, wow, I'm sorry, I thought you guys loved us". It breaks my heart that they think that is what love is. I wish I could shake them and tell them there is love out there that doesn't come with strings and ultimatums. Unfortunately, they wouldn't get it anyway. They live in their own little bubbles where nothing bad has ever happened to them. The most stress they've ever experienced is a lot of homework or a shitty boyfriend. I'm glad that they haven't experience real pain, but it hurts me that they wont know real love when they see it. I know I didn't. I tested the waters with Josh more than a time or two. I probably still do. I think I still expect him to give up on me and leave, even though I KNOW that he wont. There is this little voice in my head that will always be saying "you're not good enough" and for some reason I can't shut it up completely no matter how hard I try.
IDK.
Today's my Birthday. I've been alive for 26 years. I don't know what else to say about that. I think I'll do a "my favorites" post tomorrow. I'm just not in the mood today. I got 50 facebook happy birthdays from people I haven't seen since high school, my husbands family and some women I "know" only because we share the same rare disorder. But I didn't get one from my mom, my dad, my step-dad, two of my sisters and 2 of 3 of my grandparents. I don't really know how I feel about that either. I keep trying to talk Josh into moving, but unless we win the lottery, it's probably not going to happen. Until then I dream of somewhere far away...Montana or Wyoming maybe. Somewhere that I can sit in my pool on a hot day and look up at snow-capped mountains. Somewhere I can be myself and not feel bad about it.
The only thing I'm really sure of right now is THANK GOD FOR JOSH. He is the definition of "my rock".

my mothers day promises to my children

2010-05-10T08:26:00.007-04:00

I love my life as a mother. I love my children and I love my husband. Honestly, life is really good for all of us right now. But I fucking HATE mothers day. I love the kids getting me "gifts" and getting all excited to give me flowers and handmade cards. It's the other people that get in the way...sort of like Christmas. If it weren't for certain family members, Christmas would be pure perfection. These people are the reason we thought about moving...like to another state. It is physically exhausting having to deal with their moods and not knowing why I'm being yelled at like a 10 yr old. I can't keep up with the drama anymore. I'm just ill-equipped. In our house, if you are upset with someone, you tell them. You say "hey, I don't like that, could ya not?" and that's it. It's been 8 BLISSFUL years since I've lived in a house where I was afraid to make a noise for fear of the beatings and the screaming and the name calling and the "if you weren't my daughter I would never want to see you again" and the "i can't even stand to look at you" etc... But it all came flooding back to me yesterday. And honestly, maybe I'm grateful for it. It has definitely shown me what I will never let myself become as a mother.

Here are the promises I make to my children...

I will never have favorites amongst my children. My sisters have this lovely little naive way of blaming me for the way my mom has treated me my whole life. But that's not their fault, they were all treated like princesses. The worst they ever got was a spanking and "don't do that again". They have no idea what fear really is. They don't know what it's like to have your head slammed into the corner of your headboard and have no idea why. They don't know what it was like to be beaten with my math book for getting a D on a test. They don't know what it was like last year to hear my Dr. tell me that my MRI showed multiple unexplained concussions. All I could say was "I had a lot of accidents as a child". There I was lying for her/them at 25 yrs old, like a brainwashed idiot. I am thankful that my sisters never knew that pain and fear, but I really wish they would stop judging me for it, because they've never lived my life or even TRIED to walk in my shoes for a minute.
I will be a milk and cookies mom. My whole life, I yearned for my own mother to hug me or let me talk about my bad day and say "come on honey sit down and we can talk about it". I want to be the soft place for my kids to land, most especially after a hard day. When something bad happens, I want them to be thinking "I can't wait until I can go home and talk to my mom about this and get one of her hugs".
I will be their strongest advocates. My mom ALWAYS no matter who or what it was, she always took the other persons side. It didn't matter if it was a fight with a friend, a bully at school, or whatever. It was always my fault and the other person was always right. always.
I will help them with their homework. I often wonder if my 3.8 GPA would have been a 4.0 if I had had at least one parent who had a few minutes to help me with my homework. (which is ironic because I was mostly beaten for getting "bad" grades.
I will be patient and kind, especially when it's hard.
I will be respected, not because I simply gave birth to them and changed their dirty diapers, but because I actually EARNED it.
I will never lie about them to anyone...and I will TRY never to lie to them (that one gets dicey around Christmas and birthdays lol)
I will CONTROL MY TEMPER AND MY ANGER. This one has been an issue for my mom her whole life, but in the last 6 months I have seen it get to a point that is unhealthy. She NEEDS anger management classes or a counselor or something or she'll have a heart attack the next time the grocery store is out of corn on the cob. The only time I have ever had anger like that, was during my PPD and that kind of anger is not good. not good at all.
I will NEVER put a guilt trip on them the size of Texas.
I will tell them I love them every single day, no matter what.
My love will always be unconditional. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "if you loved me you would...". During my childhood it was things like ..."get better grades", ..."do what I say", etc. at christmas, it was ..."come over here on christmas day" (and ...do what I say). Before I met Josh, I thought that love meant always agreeing on everything and always doing what the other person told you to. I had no idea that there was something out there called unconditional love where you are allowed to disagree and still love each other. Unfortunately, my mom still has no idea what unconditional love is and she has brainwashed my sisters the same as she did me. They are always telling me "if you loved mom, you would do what she wants". THAT'S NOT LOVE PEOPLE!!
I will NEVER, EVER say the words "I don't hate you, I just hate everything about you" to my children. This was something I heard probably weekly. And as usual, it was for NOTHING. But it's something NO child should ever have to hear.
I will praise them more than I discipline them. I have already made this a priority and I think it works. It lets them know that just because they have to stand in the corner for doing something bad, doesn't mean I don't love them or think they are amazing kids.
I will never tell them they are "too fat to wear that".
I will NEVER bad-mouth one of my children to another (or to any family/friend)
I will be a better mom than those before me. I will learn from their mistakes and I will not repeat the cycle as it has been repeated for generations in this family.

I love my children enough to fight this gene pool. When I was a teenager I always told people "I don't EVER want to have children". It wasn't because I didn't like kids, it was because I was afraid that I had no control over whether or not I end up like my mother and my grandmother. I'm an adult now, and I KNOW that the way we act, ESPECIALLY with our children is CHOICE. Since becoming a parent I have lost what little respect I had for my mom and my biological dad. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to go the other way, but it just doesn't. I look at my kids and can't even imagine saying and doing the things that she did. And I definitely can't imagine seeing them once a year like my dad did my whole life. Josh told me last night that it was a miracle I ended up as normal as I am with all that crap I've dealt with my whole life. I don't know if it was a miracle or if it was just determination, but I am so glad that my life ended up this way. I'm so glad that I didn't let fear stop me from having these 3 amazing kids. The are the only thing that made my mothers day bearable yesterday (well that, and josh yelling at my mom that she "makes a big fucking deal about nothing and it's retarded". that was sooooooo awesome. I have never loved him more ;-)

Mothers day gifts, big and small

2010-05-09T14:35:00.003-04:00

When Maria came home from school on Wednesday, she was sooo excited to give me her gifts. I told her that she could wait until Sunday, but she insisted. What I got was BEAUTIFUL and perfect.

This is my mother (and there is a picture she drew of me). Her name is Mom. She is about old, old, old years old (gee thanks). She has green eyes and black hair. She weighs 2 pounds (ok seriously thank you for that one). Her favorite food is mac & cheese (no, that's YOUR favorite food lol). She's smart and she knows all about saving me from Pia because she hits me. (I LOL'ed so hard at that). When she's not with me, she spends her time cleaning up. Best of all, mother likes to turn off the TV. Mother takes care of me by giving me good food and hugs. I think my mother is best in the world because I love her. If I could wish for anything in the world for my mother, it would be flowers. Love Maria

And this one made me bawl my eyes out...which then upset Maria because she thought I didn't like it...epic "mommy" fail. I then spent the day explaining to her that sometimes we cry because we are soooo happy and love someone soooo much.

Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints on furniture and walls

But everyday I am growing up and soon I'll be so tall
That all those little hand prints will be hard to recall.

So here's a final hand print just so you can say
This is how my fingers looked on this Mother's Day!

I'll have pics of Mother's Day and a recap of the day, tomorrow.

leftovers and wordless wednesday...all on the wrong days

2010-05-06T09:10:00.000-04:00

This is really just a hodge podge because I haven't really had anything interesting to say in the last week that would constitute an entire blog.

How cute is this picture of Jack? Seriously, I love it. It's definitely worthy of WW status.

Speaking of pictures, yes, this is in fact a strawberry shaped like...uhh...well, a rack...I'm sorry, I know it's juvenile, but it has been cracking Josh and I up for two days. that's just the immature sense of humor we have, and I LOVE it.

We had to reschedule our family pictures because they were supposed to be Sunday, but because of the storms, obviously that didn't happen. We are actually doing them at my moms house with all 10 of us for her 50th birthday gift. She's been talking about having family pics taken for years and just hasn't done it, so we thought we'd do it for her. lol. Of course I have no room to talk since I wanted to get them since last year for my birthday, but Josh didn't want to spend $700 on pics. (tangent: this I THINK, is what my EPSIL (evil psychotic sister in law) was referring to one time when she said that I "forced Josh to buy $700 patio furniture"????, when in actuality that furniture was cheapo stuff that Josh wanted and got from big lots. I guess since she wins every argument in her house, she thinks I do too. It must be unusual for someone like her to understand a couple making decisions TOGETHER. lol. ok tangent over.)

Sophia has been calling Maria "Somia". I think this is what's going on in her head...if Pia=Sophia then Mia should=Somia. Pretty good logic if you think about it.
It's officially 100 days until our vacation!! And if ANYONE deserves a vacation, it's us! We've spent the last 5 1/2 years having babies, taking care of them, paying our bills, working hard & doing the right thing. So now that we are practically debt free (obviously we still owe on our mortgage and car) we can finally go on a vacation the RIGHT way. Without having other bills we can't pay or paying for it with a credit card. We are so excited and now our kids will appreciate it so much more. Hopefully they will grow up to be responsible like us and not grow up feeling entitled to things like that.
Josh got all of our plants for our garden yesterday. Last year was just a trial run to see what we liked/used so this year will HOPEFULLY be totally used. We got 24 tomato plants, 2 peppers, 1 cucumber & 2 strawberry. Also, I got the seeds the other day for corn, pickling cucumbers, pie pumpkins & carrots. I'm hoping to get a little more spaghetti sauce out of this years. We just ran out a couple weeks ago and I had to get store-bought. Once you've had homemade, the store stuff is like eating plain tomato sauce out of a can. LOL. For some reason, my green beans from last year all have a funny...like pasty? kind of taste, so I don't think we'll do them this year, however I did get some seeds. It'll really depend on if we have the space.
When we went to pick up the plants last night, we stopped at the place where we used to go get ice cream after Maria was born. We'd walk up there every night, and it was just really nice. However, they closed it down a while back, so Josh was all excited when he came home from work last night and said "they opened it up again, we have to go tonight!". It was so cute. The problem now becomes that we sold the double stroller and IDK about having the kids walk the mile on a rural road with no sidewalks. But it would be stupid to drive a mile, ya know?

Don't forget...

2010-04-28T16:16:00.000-04:00

Danifred did a post a while (is it awhile or a while?) back where she listed things she doesn't want to forget about her kids right now. And I'm a cheater cheater pumpkin eater, so I'm going to copy her paper and do one of my own, however, mine will just be about LIFE right now.

Jackson does this thing where he holds onto a table or the couch etc. and sort of bounces and giggles so hard he can't catch his breath. It's hilarious and sooo stinking cute, but Josh always has to go and make it dirty and he says that it looks "just wrong"...men! lol
I was just talking to a friend about how I think that Josh and I are the definition of opposites attracting. We are always teaching each other things and opening each others eyes to new things. And I think we really do bring out the best in each other. After being with him for almost 8 years, I honestly don't know how couples who are really similar can be happy (or get anything done) that way.
Marias teacher tells me that "I wish every child had maria's sense of humor" at least once a week. I love it. I think she is just a genuinely happy kid so she will laugh and giggle and carry on about literally ANYTHING.
I think Sophia has a future as an exercise instructor. She's always gathering us up and giving orders for different "moves" she wants us to do. "circle you head", "lift up you arms", "shake you booty", "flap you wings" (this one is her favorite and she just looooves it if her "wings" touch the person beside hers.) And it's always totally random like if we're all in the kitchen after dinner she'll just start doing it.
On the subject of jobs, I'm almost positive that Jack will be a garbage man. I CANNOT keep the kid out of the trash. It's ridiculous. And it's not just the trash, it's the recycling, the girls toys, the DVD drawer, the picture boxes. Anything he can get his sticky little hands on, is fair game. I love him, I really do, but by the end of the day, that boy is working my last nerve! (my hope here is that in 10 years when I read this, I'll be thinking "Oh, I'm sooo glad he grew out of THAT!"...but I'm not holding my breath)
When Jack walks it's HILARIOUS. He takes the smallest steps ever. It takes him 500 steps to get 5 feet. I love it. The difference between the way they all walk in the beginning is really interesting to me. Sophia used to not move the top half of her body and it was soo funny. And maria started running the day after she started walking. I kid you not, I actually have video to prove it. LOL
The girls ask to play with play-doh and to color every.single.day. And it's always before 8:30am. I started telling them that the rule is, not to ask until after I get done with my breakfast so that my eyes can be fully awake. So now they come into our room at 7:am asking if my eyes are awake yet. lol
Last night while the girls were going to the bathroom before bed, Josh layed down in Marias bed. I layed down next to him and I said "awww. are ya happy honey, both of us squeezing into a twin bed, just like when we were first dating" lol. Then the girls both climbed into bed with us and Josh says "No. This is SOO much better". My heart melted.

I wish I could remember everything about them forever. The way they say every word and the things they just have to have a certain way. In 15 years, I will be wishing I could go back and remember all the little things, hopefully posts like this will help remind me of the simple things about our life that make it SOOO amazing and such an incredible blessing.

The reason Chrysler Financial is the devil

2010-04-22T08:44:00.002-04:00

And THIS is why I KNOW my day is not going to go very well today.

8:32 am
Me: *dials Chrysler financial*
enters information
is put on hold
Random customer service rep #1: "blah blah blah can I have your account information
Me: gives info
gets transferred
enters info again
RCSR #2: "blah blah blah can I have your account information"
Me: i just gave it to you people 3 times
RCSR #2: well I need it again
Me: complies, reluctantly
RCSR #2: Please hold
HANGS UP ON ME!!!
Me: *dials Chrysler financial AGAIN*
inputs information AGAIN
RCSR #3: blah blah blah can I have your account information please.
Me: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!
RCSR #3: Ma'am you cannot speak to me that way or I will hang up on you
Me: well someone else just did that for no reason, so why would you be any different
RCSR #3: I apologize for the inconvenience and the fact that we refuse to take your $463 a month. we are a bunch of imbeciles who couldn't even get our GED's (ok, maybe I'm paraphrasing there). How can I help you?
Me: I've been trying to pay my bill all morning and your stupid system wont let me, which is what happens EVERY month. Will you just take my money already so I don't have to pay a late fee.
RCSR #3: Please hold
Me: *OBSCENITIES*
RCSR #3's boss: Hello ma'am, I understand you're having problems paying your bill. Please give me your account information.
Me: Silently imitates throwing phone at wall and bashing head in said wall.
gives account information
RCSR #3's boss: well I can take care of that right now with a fee of $14.95
Me: well what would be the late fee if i sent in the check right now
RCSR #3's boss: $12.95
Me: hangs up and bangs head against wall. children look on in confusion.
8:48

Needless to say, I'm making this one a recurrent debit from the account. There is only so much insanity I can handle for one day and I've already reached my limit for today.

an appology in the form of a funny video...

2010-04-20T13:34:00.003-04:00

For the record, YES I am well aware that I haven't been on blogger in 2 weeks. I appologize for my lack of commenting AND lack of posting. I really don't have any excuse, I just haven't been on the computer all that much and when I was, I didn't really feel like being on here.

So to make up for it (and hopefully make you laugh so hard you forget about my abandonment) here is a video of Sophia that is hilarious. My favorite parts are when Maria asks to see it and then says "yuck" and when Sophia says it's out when, clearly, it's not. BTW, yes, I do laugh like that all the time, and no, I never realized how hilarious THAT is until right now. It's just who I am, I find literally EVERYTHING funny. LOL (see, I'm doing it again!)

Enjoy!

Enough pics to sink a ship...or just 9

2010-04-06T10:35:00.004-04:00

We had a GREAT Easter (hopefully you all did too!). After the kids opened their Easter baskets, I made breakfast (of course). Then my sister came over (the rest of my family was in WV visiting my Grandparents) to give them the baskets my mom made for them. She ended up hanging out, playing with the kids etc. Then Josh's whole family (minus one cousin and of course the brother whose wife doesn't allow him to see his own family) came over and we all ate lunch/dinner and talked and played cards. It was lots of fun and the kids had a great day (which is what really matters). Later that evening we were hanging out on the deck and Josh's dad and his girlfriend came over to give them their baskets and we all hung out for a little while. The weather here has been AWESOME the last couple weeks, (80's in northeast Ohio in April is almost unheard of!) so it was perfect weather for Easter (usually we have snow lol). Here's some of the pics from the day.

We colored eggs (of course!)

(Sophia made weird faces in every.single.picture. It's just soooo her. lol)

Here's their baskets.

This pic cracks me up. She looks like she's still asleep!

And this one cracks me up even more. If you can believe it, this is the best out of 3!

And of COURSE Jack without pants. The boy can take pants off faster than an adult lol.

Maria with her basket from "Gam"

And Sophia with hers

And all three in their Easter outfits (again, best out of 3) :D

Way-Back Wednesday

2010-03-31T09:49:00.004-04:00

This is Josh's Grandpa at 3 months old. (So around January of 1922)

And this is him as a little boy with his little sister and their mother. My guess is that this was around 1925 because his sister was born in 1924.

And this is Josh's Grandparents on their wedding day. I love how they are looking at each other. I've actually got a few other really good ones from their wedding day, which is really cool for that time. (1948)

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-03-26T08:10:00.004-04:00

I've been having the WEIRDEST dreams lately. Seriously. One involved my sister shrinking to 3 ft tall (she's probably over 6 ft tall...). Last nights was about Josh's brother (the one whose wife wont let him talk to us). He, for some unknown reason brought Josh's other brother (the one who's 11) over to our house because he got really sick. ??? They've been weirder, I just don't want to fully disclose to the world how truly twisted my mind really is. LOL.
Speaking of that SIL, I just noticed yesterday that she is "following" one of the blogs that I follow. I was going to leave a comment and there was her stupid face. I mean, it was creepy to think of her still stalking my blog after I asked her not to MULTIPLE TIMES, but this just makes it about 10X creepier. Next thing you know she'll be doing Friday Night Leftovers LOL.
Josh and I have been doing some re-organization lately, and it continues. This weekend we're heading to Home Depot (the girls FAVORITE store in the whole wide world. I swear you'd think it was Disney for all the excitement) to get some more stuff for the toys and the girls closet.
I found 3 ants in the pantry yesterday and have subsequently freaked out about it. I'm obsessed, really. I keep going in there and checking to see if there are anymore. It's driving me nuts. BUGS drive me nuts.
I have to say that I'm not happy about this health care bill passing. IMO this is something that needs to be put through by each state and voted on by the PEOPLE. But because it wasn't, we now have a bunch of "pork" that doesn't have any business in there. It's all just so under-handed I can't stand it. Next thing you know, we'll be forced to have life insurance too, or pay a fine...oh, I mean a "tax".
I've been picking up a few things here and there for our vacation this summer and I was wondering if anyone has used those travel trays that you strap to the kids car seats so they have a surface for food and coloring etc? I'm just wondering if they'd be worth the $15 each or if they are going to not work and be a pain in the ass.

Oops, I almost forgot. Visit Danifred for more Leftover fun! :D

Birthday recap

2010-03-24T08:13:00.006-04:00

Instead of my way back Wednesday post this week, I will instead dazzle you with pictures from Maria's Birthday week.

(yes when you almost die on the day of your actual birth you get an entire week...)

(and your mommy gets to be lazy and buy all the food from the Giant Eagle deli...)

(hey if anyone deserves it, IT'S US!)

Anyway, on Sunday we had her party and of course she had TONS of fun and got lots of really nice gifts. However, her favorite items from the party were THE CAKE (of course!). Gotta love the Backyardigans...

This picture is so Pia, it's not even funny. I love it (even though it's disgusting and every time I look at it my OCD kicks in). It's just her personality in a nutshell. She doesn't care what anyone thinks, she just wants to have fun.

...and the CARD! it was a musical one (also Backyardigans). She played with that more than any of her toys I think. It broke yesterday and I had to perform "open-card" surgery to try to fix it.

(yes, I am in fact, corny enough to find that funny)

(Don't worry, it survived and is now resting to let his "stitches" heal)

She also got all kinds of other fun stuff like a Leapster2 with a Dora game,

And clothes, and shoes, and chalk, and bubbles, and Chixos, and crafts...She loved it all. But alas, I was so engrossed in the actual day, I didn't take very many pictures to prove it. But the nicest thing of all, was that she got to see her family (one of whom, hasn't seen her in almost a year).

Then last night her only set of grandparents that didn't make it to the party, came over to visit.

She got BARBIES! and better yet, it was...BARBIES WITH BABIES!! Oh my goodness, it's so stinkin cute you would not believe it. I only wish I was a little girl again (of course that's how I feel with ALL of the cool new Barbie stuff they have now). There is actually a lever on the back of the nurse that will move the arm so she can rock the baby! AAhhhh soo cute.

But I digress....

Also, both of the girls got cute necklaces with a dog and a cat on them and books that match. This is a horrible picture but it's all I could really get at the time without annoying them too much so, it'll have to do.

5 years of miracles

2010-03-23T06:30:00.001-04:00

This post is for the fetus who wasn't supposed to survive, who then became the baby who would have a severely decreased quality of life, who then became the toddler who was developmentally 2 years behind, who is now the preschooler that amazes me every single day. From 1 lb 2 oz and less than 12 inches long to 26 lbs and over 3 ft tall, we've shed tears of fear, joy, worry, pride and pure amazement at what our strong, smart, stubborn, sensitive little miracle can do over these past 5 years. It's been an emotional roller-coaster that we've often wished we could jump off of. But in the end, all of these things we've gone through have only made us love and appreciate her more and more every day.

10 days old (Josh doing "kangaroo care" so they took her cpap off because she was breathing so well on her own)

1 yr old (when we were building our house)

2 yrs old

3 yrs old (helping Josh build the deck)

4 years

Today...5 years old! (of COURSE wearing all pink and princess and glitter)

MHR

2010-03-19T16:13:00.003-04:00

My husband rocks for many, many reasons. But the one I keep replaying in my head for the last 24 hours, occurred exactly 5 years ago today. Exactly five years ago today I went into the hospital with the worst pain I'd ever experienced in my life. I was told later that day that our baby girl had a 60% chance of survival and I had about a 70% chance. We were young and dumb and naive and we were not prepared for any of it. He'd only been my husband for 3 weeks and there we were, in the midst of hell. But he was there. Every minute, he was there. He was there from the beginning when they (as usual) couldn't get a line in me for over a half an hour and had to resort to a central line. He was the one yelling at the doctor for hurting me. He was there through it all. Sneaking me water and holding my hand. He did things for me that I can't even imagine doing for another person. Those days before and after she was born, were the scariest of our lives. But we got through it together. And he was there through her 3 months in the NICU keeping me from losing it every single day. There were days where he held me for hours and let me cry. And there were days that he knew I just needed to be left alone. He was the only one to recognize that I needed a break to save my sanity, towards the end. My husband is not an outwardly emotional person, but in those months, he wore his heart on his sleeve and I loved him sooo much more for it. I never knew I could love him as much as the day he held her for the first time and cried so incredibly hard on the drive home. I talked to my mom about it the next day and she said the best sentence I've ever heard. She said, "you will never love your husband more as a man, than when you see him as a father". It's unbelievably true. And for a man that just HAD to have a boy, he's been wrapped around that little girls finger since day one. I love it, and I love him. I wouldn't have made it through the last five years (exactly) with anyone other than him.

way back wednesday (and small update)

2010-03-17T08:04:00.004-04:00

Here's another edition of way back Wednesday. These are some photos of my grandpa (my moms dad) and his family.

This is my grandpa with one of his many cars. Josh said he thought it looked like a Studebaker, but couldn't be sure because he couldn't see the front. Either way, I just think he looks so handsome (and check out the shoes! :D).

I LOOOVE this photo. It's my grandpa and his sister Peggie. The look on my grandpas face just cracks me up! And look how pretty my aunt peggie looks. ah. LOVE it.

These are my grandpas parents. The quality of the actual picture is much better than this one because this was scanned and printed for me on paper on my grandpas scanner, that isn't that great.

This is my grandpas, grandpa. If you knew my grandpa you would know that they look soooooo similar, it's crazy.

In other news, I survived my first day of the 30 day shred. Yes, survived is the best word to describe it. I was calling her names I didn't even know I knew. In the middle it started to get a little easier for me (because there was a some kick boxing which is what I used to do all.the.time.) and I thought it was near the end...then she said ok we have one more circuit left. If I had had the strength I would have punched a whole in my TV at the idea of me and my ahem...girls...doing another minute of jumping jacks. I'm surprised I don't have a black eye. Seriously. I'm pretty sure that there is a law that says anyone over a DD can't do jumping jacks. If not, there SHOULD be one. lol. I have no idea how I'm going to do it all again today when I can barely walk, but I'm going to at least try. But one thing's for sure, I have to find myself the tightest sports bra known to man. Wish me luck...on all acounts.

how much of a bitch IS jillian michaels, anyway?

2010-03-15T18:30:00.003-04:00

So, I got Jillian Michael's 30 day shred the other day. I'm starting it tomorrow and will report back on the subsequent "shredding" that Ms. Michael's is going to be doing to my risidual baby belly (etcetera). I'm hoping to get a few pounds off before our family pics with her in about 6 wks.

I'm not one of those freaks that's all obsessed about exercising or how I look. Whatever. Do I want to look like I did in high school. Well, YAH. Don't you? But in the last 5 years my body has been put through hell and I'm not gonna go all Nazi spin bitch on it and flip out if I can't lose the weight that I want to. I just have more important things to worry about. And the fact that time is not exactly on my side here, is not helping.

I've been desperately trying to figure out when I will have the time and I'm thinking that if I do the thing (1 hr) and take a lightening speed shower, I might be able to get it done while the kids "nap" (which lately is not a nap, it's a giggle-fest in the girls room that spills over into Jacks room after about an hour. But we'll see how it goes. That is really my only choice b/c I'm NOT doing it after Josh gets home and I'm NOT waking up any earlier than I already do. So we'll see how it goes. It would definitely be nice to lose a little before the pics and a little more before VACATION (!!!). But we all know how well I do with any diet restrictions (esp on my sweets!). NOT WELL. lol. I could go the rest of my life without another chip or fast food or pop (ewwww! :-P). But try to take away my ice cream and be prepared to lose a hand. lol. So we'll see how this all goes.

Friday Night Leftovers (photo ed.)

2010-03-12T09:20:00.002-05:00

This edition of Friday Night Leftovers will be a photographic one. Enjoy.

And for more leftover fun, visit Danifred

The other day I went in to get Jack out of his crib and found this... they said they wanted to keep him company and since they couldn't get him out, the only logical thing to do....they got in, of course.

Last week I redid the photos (and got new frames) in the hallway (see below). It hadn't been done since Maria came home from the NICU(!!!) yep, I apparently AM that lazy. So now I've moved on to another wall that will have all black and whites of our families (old pics of our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents). I've been having a lot of fun going through them and picking out my favorites. So, hopefully by next week I'll have a pic of that. I'm halfway done and I have all the frames already.

Last night when Josh and I were getting into bed, I walked over to his side to fix his blankets and pillows and I found this... apparently our kids support "free love". LOL

Because I'm slightly neurotic, I made Maria's birthday gift bags already. Yes, I am well aware of the fact that her birthday isn't for another two weeks. But I had the stuff and I just couldn't help myself. It was staring at me. I would like to point out that I, unlike some of the other mothers in the class, have not included "fun dip" in these Birthday bags. I am 100% sure that "fun dip" was created by someone without children. What other explanation can you give for a candy that is essentially a bag full of flavored sugar that you eat with a sucker. Why in the world would the parents of 4 and 5 yr olds send these things home? It boggles the mind. I think those mothers hate the rest of us. I was forced to throw them away (and strategically hide them under paper plates in the trash can) when they weren't looking. It was pathetic. But it was survival. Of course if I knew what some people considered acceptable nutrition for their children, I would probably fall off this chair, so maybe I should consider "fun dip" par for the course. Anyway, included in these (PINK, of course!!) bags are smarties, skittles, glow in the dark bracelets and bouncy balls. Maria helped me load them up and she handed them to me so I could tie them with the twist-tie.

taking the bun off the hot dog?

2010-03-09T08:26:00.003-05:00

Before Jackson was born, we had planned for him to be circumcised. However, due to his prematurity and also due to his low platelet count, the doctors wouldn't do it at that time. So when he was about 3 months old, I called a pediatric urologist who informed me that he wouldn't do the circ until Jack was 1 yr old.

Since that time, Josh and I have been dead-locked about what to do. While I originally did want him to be circ'ed, I didn't think I was going to have to take my toddler in to have it done. When I think of how they act with a simple immunization at this age, I can't imagine how he's going to react to...uhh...having the bun taken off the hot dog, so to speak. I'm just afraid of his level of pain during the procedure, after the it's over and during the recovery.

Needless to say, Josh is thinking of it like any man would. Here are some of his favorite arguments....

All the girls will run away screaming when they see he has an "elephant trunk".
The guys in the locker room will give him shit about it.
I don't want him to be different.

Now, these arguments would be fine, if we were discussing having it done at his birth. But we're talking about a whole different ball game (excuse the pun). And because circ-ing is such a hot topic these days, I honestly don't think he will be the only one on the football team that isn't snipped. But, I guess I really just don't know. Josh says I'm being too soft and he'll be fine. I just don't know.

So I'm wondering...what would you do in this situation? Just suck it up and take him, or leave him alone?

1st and 10

2010-03-05T09:06:00.005-05:00

I got this from Lindsay. So here are the rules...
1. Go to your pictures and open your first folder.
2. Go to the 10th photo and post it.
3. Tell the story behind the photo.
4. I'm tagging all of you. If you want to do it, do it. :D

I sort of cheated. My first folder only had 5 photos in it, so this is the 5th photo in my second folder. So technically, it's my 10th photo. lol

The story behind this photo is that we were at my mother-in-laws house for Memorial Day, 2 years ago. Maria had been acting weird all day. Earlier, she was sitting on a bench and just let go and fell backward! You can see in the pic, she doesn't look like herself. Well the next day she woke up unable to breath and couldn't stay awake for more than a minute or two. She ended up with a stay at Akron Children's for a couple days (and all the fun that goes along with that) because she had pneumonia and that is when they diagnosed her with "possible Asthma" (due to her prematurity, and the way she is when she gets sick etc.) But they said at her age, they can't definitively say if a child has asthma or not.

Thankfully, she hasn't needed her inhaler in probably over a year. She didn't even need it during the swine flu in November or whatever it is that we just had a couple weeks ago. So (knock on wood) she hopefully grew out of it. Either way, it was a very scary few days we had and it didn't help (me, anyway), having to be back in the place where Maria lived for her first 3 months.

I could have sworn...

2010-03-04T09:20:00.003-05:00

I could have sworn we were raising girls....but apparently we're raising sailors.

Maria: (as she stands up on her chair and shakes her butt at Sophia) You wanna see my booty Pia?

Sophia: No. You wanna see my mouth Mia! (as she opens her mouth to show off her chewed up food)

Josh: What the hell are you teaching them every day!

Clearly, I am not the negative influence here. ;-)

Way Back Wednesday

2010-03-03T08:44:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm a sucker for old photos. So I thought I would share some of our families with you. I might even make it a weekly thing. If it catches on, I'll get an icon and a mr. linky. But until then, feel free to join in and do a way back wed of your own. (remember to link to me)

These are pictures of Joshs grandpa (dad's dad) or pictures he took during the war. He was in WWII and for some of the time (1944) he was in Iraq and Iran (I didn't even realize people were stationed there back then).

The back of this one says "an old man making mud bricks". I just think it's a cool picture.

The back of this one says "Taken at the entrance of Daniel's Tomb in Iran -Dec 2, 1943"

His wife wrote "this is the one I like" on the back of this one. I like it too.

thank you. thank-you-very-much.

2010-03-02T18:12:00.005-05:00

Just so you all know, when I typed that title, I did my best Elvis face & voice. ya. I'm awesome like that.

So, my amazing friend of many years, gave me a blog award last week and I haven't officially "accepted" yet.

So here's the deal. I have to "award" some of my favorite bloggers and give 7 fun facts about myself. And I have to notify the people that I'm "awarding". All of the people that I award, have to do the same thing. So I am nominating Aubrey, Diana, Lindsey and Danifred

I never wanted children until Josh and I started getting serious. I was always afraid that I would end up like my mother...or worse....my father! and that scared the crap out of me. But the older I get, the more I realize that how you treat your children is a choice, it's not in your genetic make-up.

I also never wanted to get married until then. I'm not one of those women who dreamed about their wedding from the time they were a child (and called it "MY" wedding instead of "OUR" :-P). I just wanted to be happy and once I was with Josh, I realized that being with him was the way I would be happiest. And honestly, once the whole wedding planning started, I didn't really care about all that stuff too much. I wanted to focus on the marriage more than the wedding.

I hate shopping with other people. It makes me anxious and I can't focus on what I actually wanted to buy and I just end up wanting to leave right away. (this also applies to talking on the phone while I'm shopping too).

I'm a genealogy freak. I get sucked in and then I can't think of anything else for days. It's like an addiction. I have to physically shut off the computer to make myself take a break from it. (this addiction extends to old photographs also) But I suppose, as far as addictions go, it's a hell of a lot better than drugs or alcohol, so...

I have also been obsessed with Elvis since I was a toddler. (It was a velvet poster of him in the gold lame` suit that got me hooked at a flea market when I was 4).

I just started watching the old episodes of Grey's Anatomy and I'm officially hooked. I really don't know how I haven't been watching it all this time.

I spell the word apology wrong every.single.time. I type it. I give it two "p's".

5 yrs together

2010-02-25T17:56:00.004-05:00

Today is Josh and my 5 year anniversary. To say it's gone fast would be an understatement.

Here's what I remember most about our wedding day...

I remember being more calm than I've ever been in my life. I don't think everyone has to be that way. I can totally understand how someone would be nervous on their wedding day, I just wasn't. My maid of honor kept asking me if I was scared or nervous or anything. I kept reassuring her that I was fine. I think everyone else in the wedding party was more scared than I was. I just knew it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

I remember missing Josh. I think it was because it was such a huge day and I wanted to talk to my best friend about it. But I couldn't because my best friend was being hidden from me. (against his will, btw. hey, I'm a traditional girl)

I remember not knowing what to do when I walked down the isle. I wanted to smile and cry and run all the way down it and give Josh a big hug. I just couldn't decide, so it ended up being a mixture of all of those things...including a bit of a waddle (which I didn't notice until watching the video).

I remember hearing Josh's Grandma say "oh wow, she looks beautiful" as I walked down the isle. Now this was not an easy woman to please, TRUST ME. I worried constantly that she wasn't going to like me or a choice I made. She kept telling me to wear my hair down even though I wanted it up. And she told me to wear an ivory dress even though I had bought my white one before I got pregnant so I couldn't really do anything about it. So hearing her say that, made me really happy. She was a difficult woman, but I actually really miss her now that she's gone.

I remember not remembering anyone from the ceremony. I honestly never looked at anyone but Josh (and the Pastor...and Travis because he was right behind Josh and he was staring right at me lol).

I remember Josh's ring was HUGE on his finger.

I remember squeezing Josh's arm and hand and him squeezing mine back, the WHOLE time. You can actually see it in the video if you're looking for it.

I remember walking into the reception hall. I LOVE that part on the video too. It was such an awesome feeling and the DJ was amazing and they made it really memorable.

I remember Josh and a bunch of the guys doing the Y.M.C.A. Memorable, does not begin to describe that dance.

I remember everyone telling us it was the best wedding they've ever been to. Actually, they still tell us that all the time. Also, the bartender (whose wife owns a bakery) said that our cake was the best he'd ever eaten. It was REALLY good and Josh and I designed it together. Also it was super cheap too, so that's always good.

I remember being so exhausted by the end of it I wanted to fall asleep on the tables. My feet were swollen beyond recognition, my pregnant belly that I had shoved into a corseted dress was sore, my back hurt from dancing like a teenager all night (a NON-pregnant one) and my head hurt from all of it. Little did I know, I was already starting to have symptoms of HELLP (well pre-e at that point).

I know that there were probably some bad memories from that day too, but when I think of our wedding, I only think of the good ones. The last 5 years have been far from easy, but we've gotten through all of it TOGETHER. That is what makes a good marriage. A good marriage doesn't mean that you never have any problems or fights. A good marriage has those things and gets through them and it gets stronger and stronger every day.

I love you Baby. I can't wait for the next 50 years together.

ABC's of our life

2010-02-22T15:51:00.005-05:00

I got this from Danifred and I thought it would be fun. So all day yesterday, I had out my handy dandy notepad and when I thought of something I jotted it down and this is what I ended up with. I encourage you to do it too (and remember to link to me when you do).

A is for Alaska. Josh and I have talked about going, since before we got married. Someday we'll get there and I will finally get to see those northern lights in person. cant' wait.

B is for Barbies. Any time we tell the girls we are going somewhere, their Barbies are the first things they grab.

C is for Cabo. It's where we went on our honeymoon and it was aaaamazing. Here actually.

D is for Dress-up. If you're going to be spending any time in this house, you have to be prepared for all the pretty, pretty princess dress-up that goes on. (and that includes being turned into a frog with their magic wands, and only turned back with the magic word..."ZzzzIP!")

E is for Easter. I got the girls Easter dresses the other day. Still looking for Jacks outfit though. I hate that there are so fewer cute clothes for boys than there are for girls.

F is for Floors. I spend probably the majority of my time dealing with floors. Cleaning Jacks food off the kitchen floor, cleaning the girls crumbs off the dining room floor, picking up toys off the living room floor, etc...

G is for Grinders. It's actually where Josh and I met. Our friend Justin set us up. Josh always says that he couldn't resist me shaking my butt when I walked by his table. yah, we're classy.

H is for Home. Our house may not be the biggest or nicest house out there, but it's our home and we love it. We have made a lifetime of memories in this house in the last 3 1/2 years.

I is for Ice cream. Josh swears I am the only person that eats ice cream all winter long. I dispute that.

J is for Jack-in-the-box. It's a terrible nickname that started after he was born. When the girls came to "meet" him, they asked why he was in a box (the isolette) and it just stuck.

K is for Keep cool, Stay calm. It's a phrase that I've been repeating to myself a lot lately. I'm thinking about putting it on a plate at hot pots.

L is for Laundry. TONS AND TONS OF LAUNDRY.

M is for Mustang. A yellow '94 Mustang GT with a 5.0 and black racing stripes, to be exact. It was the car Josh had while we were dating. He sold it to his brother when we got pregnant with Maria (not exactly suitable for a car seat lol). We have soooo many memories in that car and if we had the money, I would buy it back for him right now. It absolutely breaks my heart that his brother is selling it. The person he's selling it to has never had a car for more than a couple months, so pretty soon that car will be gone forever and I hate that.

N is for NICU. Unfortunately we've spent many months there with all three of the kids.

O is for Olympics. Yes, we are Winter Olympics junkies. We really couldn't care less about the Summer Olympics, but we watch as much of the winter as we can. Josh loves all the skiing and the luge and bobsled etc. I'm forever a Curling fan, and we both like hockey.

P is for photos. If you know me at all, you know I'm obsessed.

Q is for Quilt. I have always saved my favorites of the kids clothes or blankets, when I purge the closets and I plan on making them each a quilt for graduation with them. From baby clothes to senior T-shirts, their first 18 years in one quilt.

R is for aRe you my mother (yes I cheated on this one). It's Sophia's favorite book. She has it memorized, but she still asks me to read it to her almost every day.

S is for Strawberry Newtons. Jacks new favorite food. His eyes get all big and he starts clapping whenever I get them out for him. It's precious.

T is for Teeth/Tooth. Josh is finally getting his tooth. Jack still only has one. and the Girls insist on brushing theirs 5 times a day.

U is for Team Umizoomi. It's Maria's new favorite show. She's obsessed. seriously. I swear she has an internal clock that tells her when it's on.

V is for Vacation. We are FINALLY getting to take one after 5 years and We.can't.wait.

W is for Whining. as in...TOO MUCH in this house. lol

X is for Xylophone. (yes, I'm using it) Jack has two of them and I swear to God, they are his favorite toys. no joke.

Y is for Youth. Where has it gone. I look at other people my age and I feel soooo much older and more mature than them. They are still trying to figure out who they are and I'm thinking about our retirement.

Z is for Zoo I'm stealing this one from Danifred because my house is like a zoo sometimes too.

what's the term for repeatedly coughing until you vomit? HUMILIATION!

2010-02-22T07:41:00.006-05:00

Yes, I have been MIA for awhile. I apologize. What have I been doing, you ask? Oooooh, ya know. The usual.
Coughing until I throw up.
every day.
for the last two weeks.

Yes, it's been LOADS of fun, let me tell ya. We all got sick. Everyone else gets better. Me? Oh, I just get worse. yah. typical.

And you want to know how amazingly awesome my luck is? One of these lovely episodes (of course) happened at Giant Eagle a couple days ago. Oh no. the fun doesn't stop there folks. In my 20 minute long public heaving, I set down my purse beside the trash can, to ya know, hold my hair. And when I finally composed myself enough to leave...I did...without my purse. Yah. So I get almost home and get a phone call. "uuuh hello?" "yah. uhh we have your purse here". perfect!

But on the bright side, nothing was stolen. And I can say, with some amount of certainty, that if I had left my good friends Dooney & Bourke next to a trash receptacle at a Walmart, I'd be filing papers with the bank to try to get thousands of dollars put back in my account. So I am grateful that there are still good people in this world. and that they shop at my grocery store.

So, while you try to curtail your jealousy for me right now, I'm going to ask you for a few things.
1) I.NEED.SLEEP...BAD.
2) If you don't have something nice to say to me, please don't say anything at all, b/c at this point I am all out of patience and the desire to defend myself.
3) If you have any pull with our new insurance company, I'd love for our new cards to get here ASAP. (Josh's' boss assures us they are on their way, I don't think he really knows, I just think he doesn't want me to come down there and throw up all over him or his establishment)
4) I would also like to ask for one day where I can eat dinner and actually keep it down.
So if you have any of those things and wouldn't mind sending them my way, I'd be much obliged. kthx. bye.

blog-iversary (and some lessons on relationships)

2010-02-14T17:35:00.004-05:00

I've been putting this off for a few days now (mostly due to illness and my inability to sit upright for more than 5 minutes without passing out for the last couple days lol). Anyway, on the 10th it was my 1st blog-iversary. So I looked back at some of the posts from those first couple months.

As I talked about in a recent post, it was not exactly the best time of my life (due to my PPD), but I was just trying to do my best. Which I think is what we're all doing. As mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends...Americans. We're all just trying to do our best and do what we feel is best for ourselves, our family, our country, whatever. I mean, when you look at all of the fights that you've had in your life, whether they are political or personal, they hinge on one thing. You are fighting for what YOU think is best and the other person likewise. And as long as no one fights dirty (a sin we've ALL committed a time or two...be honest!) you really can't hate the other person for it all that much. Right? You can dislike their position, but when you step back and look at it from THEIR point of view, you can see that you're both doing the same thing. Maybe you are both being stubborn or close-minded or hurtful, but more than likely, neither of you meant to be that way. More than likely, you both just felt attacked and were being defensive about something you care about very deeply. I think that sometimes we let these little fights get into a relationship and just ruin it. I think we've all done it. And probably, we all wish we hadn't.

I always hated the phrase "we have to agree to disagree" because I felt that it was "wimping out". But in the last year (and mostly in the last month), I have been forced to do just that, many times. I didn't like it...but it didn't kill me either. And I actually feel like I've become a better person for it.

I feel that I've grown in the last year. I've seen what I'm really capable of. I've seen what Josh and I are capable of together. I've seen on a daily basis what amazing miracles my kids are. And not only did we survive this year, but we learned some important things from it and we also had a lot of fun!

Last year at this time I was severely depressed. Today, I can honestly say that I've never been happier in my entire life. So thank you. Thank you for sharing in the good times and the bad. Thank you for reading my rants, commenting on my pics and supporting me through the good times and the bad ones. It's been an awesome journey and I can't wait for my 5 or even my 10 year blog-iversary!!

week of firsts

2010-02-11T18:22:00.005-05:00

Jackson has had a pretty big week (relatively speaking, of course. because if it were a week for me, it would be a pretty lame one). our adventures include...

FIRST FREAKING TOOTH! oh my Aunt Jemima, I thought this day would never come. But it did, and around the third straight day of nothing but whining and tears, I was wondering why I wanted this so badly for him.

FIRST STEPS! That event was today and it was aaaamazing. :D I actually had tears in my eyes. (yes, I know that's lame since it's my third, but it doesn't get any less exciting in my eyes). The major importance of this event happening on this particular day....it was one year, exactly, from his due date! how cool is that!?

FIRST HAIRCUT! so it was really just a trim on the back of his mullet man head that he was working soooo hard to grow. And to be honest, I felt as bad cutting his precious few hairs, as I feel when Josh asks me to do it to him. lol. But he was definitely in need of it.**

from this...

to this...

Ok, it's not exactly noticible to the naked eye, but it did actually make a difference.

**I still have no idea what to do with hair. I've never touched marias, I've only trimmed sophias bangs and I use a razor on josh. I just don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing with it...esp with Jacksons. I've just never been around boys, so I guess it's one of those things I'll just learn along the way.

Friday Night Leftovers (2-5-10)

2010-02-05T11:15:00.006-05:00

OK, I've tried it a million times and can't get the icon to copy over here so visit Danifred for more leftover fun.

This will be my first time participating in Danifreds Friday Night leftovers. So here's whats been going around in my head this week.

I've been a little cranky lately with everyone who doesn't live in this house. I really don't know why, it's just one of those moods where everyone is irritating me. I feel like people need to grow up and lighten up all at the same time. Maybe that's an oxymoron, but I really don't care. lol
Apparently we are supposed to get hit really hard tonight with some snow. The kids are super excited about the possibility of some "sliding" (sledding) and I am just happy to hibernate, as usual.
We went and had our taxes done last night. So now we're looking at where to go on our FIRST VACATION EVER!!!! We haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon (5 yrs ago), so we are pumped about that.
I got both of the girls signed up for preschool for next year. I didn't really talk about it on here, but Maria's teachers are concerned about her (developmentally) because she's not recognizing most of her letters and she is still struggling with her name (she usually writes it backwards and it's not entirely clear what she is writing), she doesn't use scissors correctly and a couple other things that to me are insignificant (I mean, come on...how often do you have a need for "galloping" in the real world?). I had a few really rough days last month just trying to accept that things are never going to be easy for her. She's struggled since the second she was born and she's still struggling almost 5 yrs later. I definitely let my guilt get the better of me. But we ended up just deciding to keep her in preschool another year. OBVIOUSLY she's not going to stand out (size-wise) as being older than the other kids. lol. AFA Sophia goes, she CAN.NOT.WAIT. to go to preschool. And I'm sure she will excel. She already knows pretty much everything Maria knows and can do everything she does. Things have always come easy to her and I'm grateful for that. It's hard enough watching one child struggle her whole life.
I had a day all to myself yesterday. IT.WAS.AWESOME. I cleaned and did laundry and watched some TV....all UNINTERRUPTED! :D And it was a nice little reunion that evening.
We are trying to move forward with my family. We fought. Everyone said things that were hurtful, and more than likely no one is going to apologize. We just need to move on and try to get past our hurt feelings. Things are still super awkward, but at least we are trying. Some families (or family members) wouldn't do that much. So I guess we should consider ourselves lucky.
Oh and for those who were concerned about the situation with the SIL, I got some great advice from a great friend (and from an awesome husband) and I've decided to just ignore her. I can't control her, so I shouldn't waste my time being concerned about her actions and her words. I had commented over there and then Josh was like "why are you giving her your time? she is a worthless piece of shit." And he was so right. So I haven't checked her blog since and I don't plan on ever checking it again. Here's hoping she will do the same. :D

what is family?

2010-01-28T10:04:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. To me, family is not just (or sometimes not EVEN) the people that you have a blood (or marital) relationship with. Some of the people that Josh and I consider family, aren't even related to us. But, they treat us better than some of the people in our actual family tree do.

I guess to me, family is there for you when you need them. They support you, love you and hug you when things are tough. But even more than that...they will tell you when you are acting like an ass hole. They might talk about you behind your back, but mostly it's because they love you and are genuinely concerned for you. They are the people who will be hurt when you exclude them from an important day or event in your life. They want to stand with you even when they also stand against what you are doing. Family, to me, is the people you want with you on your worst day and on your best day and they are the people who want the same for you.

So my question is, what is it that makes you think of someone as "family"? Is your "family" made up of mostly your actual relatives or is it made of more friends than anything else?

oh, it's ON! EDITED

2010-01-27T15:20:00.005-05:00

I've been trying to keep MY psycho in-laws identity a secret (for her own good). But today I read a couple things that I just CAN'T let go. So here ya go. Read if you must, but remember you'll need a barf bag handy if you plan to read more than one entry.

****in case you are planning on reading her blog, you should know that after she read mine she edited hers to make herself sound a little better. i mean she's still obviously delusional, but she took out the part where she called me fat and she added in some extra lies that will be fun to read but have no value in the REAL WORLD. I especially like the one where she says that I started the SAHM "war". that's funny b/c I have it in print that SHE is the one who started it and I was the one trying to defend myself. yes people THIS is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. wanna trade lives? I figured not. lol*****

http://www.candymgraham.blogspot.com/

And here are my notes to you "Miss Candy Graham".

Yes, I'm overweight. Thank you sooo much for pointing that out Captain Obvious. I hope you feel much better about yourself now. Great job. I have just had three children in less than 4 years though, so I've been a LITTLE busy. What's your husbands excuse? Hmmm? And if you'd like for me to start pointing out your faults for the world, I can do that...you're an irresponsible, ugly, selfish, narcissistic, WHORE, bitch who conned her way into a family that NO ONE wants her in. Shall I go on?
I'm not sure how you get "bragging" from the sentence "I don't know what we would have done if we had had to pay the almost $1 mil. in medical bills after maria was born". If you think that a 3 month nicu stay for your 1 lb baby is something to be "bragged" about, maybe you need to see someone for your mental issues....in fact, why don't you just do that anyway.
Yes, our kids do qualify for medicaid/healthy start. BUT WE ALSO PAY INTO IT EVERY WEEK!!! And isn't that what it's for. We aren't "mooching" off of the government. It's kinda like you paying road taxes and driving on the roads. You act like we don't pay our taxes and as if my husband doesn't work 6 days a week.
If what you do is considered a "JOB", then I guess what I do would be considered 5 or 6 JOBS. Why don't you drop the fight with me over me being a SAHM. It's getting REALLY old. It is a decision that doesn't affect you. It was a choice my husband and I made before we had children. We feel that it is the best thing for our family and that is OUR CHOICE. NOT YOURS. So mind your own business. And just so you know, even if I did work they would still qualify b/c all of that money would be going to daycare which they take into account. Also maria will always get it b/c she is considered handicapped. So what exactly would be the point? If we had been paying $1500 a month for health insurance otherwise, we might be filing for bankruptcy right along with you guys LOL (however, more than likely we'd just adjust our spending in other areas to make up the difference).
It's not stalking when my husband drives/rides his bike by every day and notices something that is out in plain sight (do you need a dictionary, b/c I have an extra?). I'm sorry, but you guys are a big joke in this house and one part of that is your inability to take care of your home (including, but not limited to...the lawn mower on the front lawn for almost a month, the tipped over swing, your inability to close your garage door...then complaining that your house got broken into, every light in your house being on every minute of every day...whilst complaining of high electric bills. etc. etc. etc.) And as far as your period goes...I'd just be happy that you're having one at all and not pregnant. I'd hate for you to screw up another innocent child. LOL. So really there's no need for the info, but thanks for offering. ;-)
And I know for a fact that you and your husband have taken money from his mother and she has paid bills to help you get by. You both need to GROW UP and start taking care of yourselves. It's pathetic. You are such a joke. You're what? 10 YEARS older than the rest of us and you still can't figure out how to take care of your finances and pay your bills. OBVIOUSLY or you wouldn't both be filing bankruptcy. Like one of my friends said on another one of my blogs...it's LACK OF PARENTING. And you are just repeating the cycle.
And as for a previous post in which you declare that Josh and I shouldn't have had kids if we weren't going to "take care" of them...it's funny b/c that's exactly what we always say about YOU. If you didn't want to stay home with your kids and actually raise them instead of paying someone else to do it, and if you were planning on throwing away all of your money on "extras" so that you couldn't use it to support your children...you shouldn't have had them at all. We love our kids. I spend every minute of every day taking care of my precious gifts from God. I enjoy every bit of time I have with them because I know that before long they will be grown and I will be wishing for this time back. Our children are always happy, fed, clothed and taken care of. They have everything they would ever need (and then some), including parents and family who love them more than life itself and spend as much time with them as possible. You are lucky that you still have an unbroken nose for some of the things you have been saying about Josh and I and our kids. Here's a little advice for you Candy. If you are a true Christian woman, you would show it in the way you ACT, not the amount of times you mention God in your blog. You would be a better person than you are. And because of the horrible person YOU are, two brothers no longer speak. If you weren't the way you are, things would be different. YOU tore this family apart. You are the one who insisted on having a wedding you KNEW we couldn't attend. You are the one who called me names and STARTED the war over me being a SAHM (which is about as stupid as war gets). It is time to let it go. You think that you are better than everyone and you have everything all figured out...well good for you, miss perfect. I guess you've never made a mistake in your life. well, congratulations. We will never get along because of that fact. I tried to give you a chance (even when Josh warned me about you). And you know what I found out...he was right. It's like you don't want people to like you. You make it impossible to stand to be around you. I really don't know how you have made it through life without having a line of people a mile long waiting to kick your ass. And more than that, we are still puzzled as to how you got TWO idiots to marry you. Really, it baffles the mind. The rest of the family has pretended to "like" you, and for that lie, they have escaped your wrath. But we don't regret being honest, Candy. We've actually enjoyed letting you know what the world is saying behind your back. But it's time to end it. Stop referring to me in your blog and I will do the same. Stop publicly insulting me and I will too. We'll pretend you don't exist and PLEASE pretend we don't exist.

MHR...uhhh monday?

2010-01-25T16:18:00.004-05:00

Obviously, we've been having to deal with a really horrid, disgusting person who has been trying to bring us down lately. However, when I look at our life together, I really wouldn't change much. (Other than removing a couple people from our radar and winning the lottery lol). Josh and I are happier than we've ever been. We both say every day how we wish we could keep everything the way it is right now, forever. Especially the kids. I love spending every minute with them and yet it still feels like I don't spend enough time with them. I still feel like it's going so fast and I want to freeze them.

Josh rocks today and every day because he loves me for who I am. He stuck with me through the most difficult pregnancy(ies) imaginable and then through the 7-8 months of post-partum depression I went through January through August-ish (which also happened to coincide with his dad and sister-in-law starting some of the worst "fights" we've ever been in). It wasn't easy for either of us. I was at the lowest point in my life. I wished for death more times than I care to remember. I screamed at everything that moved (which unfortunately happened to be the people I love the most). I said and did things I regret. I cried more tears than I probably have in my entire life. But through all of that, Josh refused to give up on me. When I was begging him to leave me or put me out of my misery, he would give me a hug and tell me that one day I was going to wish I hadn't said that so he was going to ignore it. And he was right. He would hold me while I cried for hours. He helped with the housework and he took the girls outside after he got home so that I could rest and just have Jackson.

So what made me need to tell you TODAY why he's so amazing instead of waiting until Friday? Well, last night we were laying in bed talking (as usual lol) and we started talking about that time in our lives. We talked about how hard it was on both of us. And I asked him how he could stay with me through all of that.
He said "you told me".
I said "when did I tell you that?"
He said "when Maria was in the NICU and you told me every single day that God only gives us what we can handle. I just remembered that. And I was thinking that what YOU had to be going through to make you that angry, must have been pretty bad. I was never mad at you, I felt bad for you and I wanted to help you."

Now folks, THAT is why I married him! lol. We really do honor our vows to each other. We are in this through good times and bad. In sickness and in health. I don't know if I deserve a man that would love me through all of that, but I thank God that I've got one. We really are partners in this life. We don't tell each other what to do. We don't make the other one be the only person in the relationship to ever compromise. We make decisions together. We talk about EVERYTHING. And we do it like adults. We will be happy together til death do us part.

who REALLY deserves the reward?

2010-01-23T08:57:00.003-05:00

I feel like the wrong people are constantly being rewarded for their behavior. Josh and I are responsible. We work hard, pay taxes, pay our bills, take care of our kids, take pride in keeping our home clean and and well-maintained (like, we would never leave our lawn mower and a tipped over patio swing sitting in the front yard for 21 days straight like some people on our street did. lol). We've never asked our parents to pay a bill for us or give us money, so they haven't. Even when they've offered to help us out, they never ACTUALLY do it. However the irresponsible people we know are ALWAYS getting bills paid for them and being handed money to "help them out" of bad situations that they got THEMSELVES into. Even the government is jumping on that bandwagon now and handing over a bunch of money to them (as they are planning their second Caribbean cruise in a year...talk about some wasted government money!!!!). Why is that? Why are they being rewarded with all this money, when WE are the ones being responsible. Where's our reward for doing the RIGHT things?

It's like when all of those corporations who FUCKED UP, got bailed out. They were handed all of this money, even though it was THEIR fault that they were in that position. And even though they showed absolutely no remorse for the mistakes they made in the past and no knowledge of how to do things differently in the future. They just thought that throwing money at the situation would solve the problems (as they continued using their private jets and taking billions in bonuses...are you seeing some similarities here). Meanwhile, the small businesses who were doing things right (but still being shit on) didn't get a dime. I wonder if it's because they weren't the "favorite" son....

assumptions

2010-01-20T18:40:00.005-05:00

What is it really like to be a SAHM? There's a "woman" I know (I use that term loosely since I consider a woman, to be someone who can handle her own finances without receiving bailouts from the government...while taking vacation after vacation), who apparently thinks that being a SAHM is the same as sitting at home alone all day long with nothing to do and no responsibilities. I had to laugh out loud when I read what she thinks her life would be like if she didn't have a job that she gets paid for. It was HILARIOUS. I guess mostly because this woman DOES SIT AT HOME ALONE ALL DAY (her kids are grown and in school) and she still can't manage to get anything done (a mutual family member said their house was so disgustingly dirty she wanted to vomit when she went in there one time). she has a part time job that she does on the computer about an hour a day. The rest of the time, she is on Facebook or blogspot (since apparently she checks my blog every 5 minutes). So I guess I should post a blog entitled "what my life would be like if i had my cell phone and internet paid for by the government and sat at home alone all day long with almost nothing to do but bullshit on the internet and talk shit about SAHM's and family members on my blog". I wonder how well that would go over....;-)

**see how fun it is when people make assumptions about what life is like in your shoes? not very nice, is it? so maybe you should knock it off sometime soon. or i could just walk my "fat, lazy, dependant, worthless, jobless" ass down to your BARN and knock your fucking head off. mmmkpumkin?

Best parts of my day

2010-01-19T08:20:00.004-05:00

Being woken up by either a) the girls begging for food lol. or b) josh kissing me (either option is awesome)
Hearing the girls say "bye, my booey" when josh leaves for work (we have no idea what that means, but they've been saying it for more than a year)
Watching Jack actually EAT ON HIS OWN. Omigosh, he's finally eating finger food by himself (no medieval force-feeding torture machine needed ;-))
The girls "tippin toe" (tip-toeing) out to the living room and peeking around the corner to see if they can get up from their naps.
or if Maria has preschool, it's when we're waiting in line and she asks me what every single button or knob in the car does. She laughs the whole time b/c she thinks it's hilarious that I answer her every day. lol I LOVE that laugh and I wish I could bottle it up and save it for 10 years from now lol.
Sophia helping me with the laundry. She loves helping me sort it and put it in the washer and she absolutely HAS to push the buttons. lol.
When Josh gets home and the girls RUN, SQUEALING to the back door to see him. then he gives them the mail to give me and he gives me a kiss hello...no matter how dirty he is from work (however, some days it's more like a peck due to oil, grease or whatever else is on there lol).
after-dinner dancing! (not always every day)
The good night "routine" when we put the girls to bed.
8:01 when the house is quiet and josh and i have time ALONE :D
laying in bed with josh holding hands and talking. i love it. it's nothing special, but we've done it every night for the last 6 1/2 years we've lived together. (except for a short time when he worked midnights :-( and an occasional fight that went over-night lol).

the difference

2010-01-18T15:59:00.002-05:00

The difference between medicaid (which is now just a gov-sponsored HMO)/medicare and a "handout"...

Medicare/Medicaid is a necessary program to give pregnant women, children, the elderly and the disabled the necessary medical care they need to survive. You need to prove that your income is under the designated amount, however so that it is not used by those making $100,000.00 a year. These programs are not WIC or welfare. They are not government-funded handouts (like bankruptcy). They benefit the citizens and families of this country greatly and like EVERY government-sponsored program, they are sometimes abused. But these programs should not be taken away because of that fact. They should be improved, however. MANY families use them so that they don't go DEEPLY into debt and end up not being able to pay their monthly bills and care for their children due to medical bills. Lord only knows where we'd be if we had had to pay the almost 1 million dollars in medical bills we had after I had Maria. But, THAT is what it's there for. Maybe if some people had used it instead of being so self-righteous and proud, they wouldn't need to be HUMILIATED by having their parents constantly paying their bills for them.

**you know who you are. idk how you keep commenting on my blog within 5 minutes of it being published, but I was thinking maybe you should get back to "work". lmao. good luck with your bankruptcy. you know, the HANDOUT from the government to just "poof"...make your debt go away even though YOU were the one that made poor financial decisions. i believe they call that a BAILOUT! lol

Things we don't do in this house

2010-01-18T14:43:00.004-05:00

Someone once commented on my position in this house, how we raise our kids and my relationship with Josh (among other things). I would like to take today to remind that person(s) about what people in glass houses shouldn't do...

So here's a list of things that go on in someones house...just not THIS house.

We don't have our mommy's pay our bills for us into our 20's and 30's (actually we have NEVER, EVER had someone else pay for ANYTHING for us. EVER).
We don't have our gas/electric/water shut off for lack of payment.
We don't spend hundreds of dollars a week eating out because someone refuses to cook a single meal for her children and husband.
We don't file bankruptcy because we can't get our spending under control and act like ADULTS.
We don't continue to charge VACATIONS and other EXTRAS to credit cards because we are apparently CHILDREN who have to have everything they want right when they want it.
We don't then accuse OTHERS of having financial trouble due to a lifestyle/parenting choice. Most especially when those "others" are making it work on HALF the income.
We don't LIE and say that we paid for our own wedding when really we made EVERYONE (including our parents and any guests that wanted to attend) pay for it because we are the most selfish beings on earth.
We don't let our kids do whatever, whenever with no consequences and then make excuses for their bad behavior, when the real reason for it, is LACK OF PARENTING.

1 year and 8 days...

2010-01-07T14:41:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I realized yesterday that I hadn't done a post about how far our little Jack-in-the-box has come since New Years day one year ago. So here we go.

he's pulling himself up to stuff, cruising and standing on his own (no official steps yet though).
he thinks he's hilarious. he's always laughing at the "funny" stuff he does.
he mimics everything we do and it's freaking adorable.
I've been trying to get him to blow kisses, but instead of him doing it when I'm done, he just grabs my hand and puts it to my mouth. then he'll pull it away and laaaugh.
he's a PITA about eating. I mean a TOTAL pain. no way in the world can we get him to eat Cheerios (etc.) off his high chair tray. no, no. instead he throws them all on the floor, screams in irritation, then when I put him on the floor, he eats them all off of the floor. on a positive note I've been cleaning the floors daily, so it's making me a better housekeeper ;-)
he likes a little action. he's easily bored when it's just the two of us. but as soon as the girls (or anyone) enter the room he's a happy camper.
I'm pretty sure he has "younger sibling syndrome" (I'm also pretty sure i just made that up). once he became mobile, he automatically thought he was one of the older kids. he'd rather go back to the play room with the girls and just sit and stare, than be out here with all his toys.
favorite thing to play with in the entire house...the flap on the dishwasher detergent thing. no joke. it's like an addiction.
he LOOOOVES the vacuum cleaner. if he's in his bead and I'm vacuuming, i can hear him in there jumping up and down laughing and squealing with delight.
his "lovey" is a sock...any sock will do (but he does prefer the smaller ones). it immediately goes in his hand while he starts sucking his thumb. hilarious...and a little perplexing.
he's got mama, baba and dada down, but that's pretty much it. however baba is used for all things with that sound (bye-bye, bad boy, and of course bottle!)
STILL NO TEETH! (I know, right!) we're looking on getting a group rate for a pair of little baby dentures and Josh's new tooth. ;-)

3 years and 1 day

2010-01-07T09:05:00.007-05:00

(three weeks old)

(three years old)

(yes that is a 1 & a 2...it does equal 3 after all...;-)

So, our little Pia pants is 3 years and 1 day old today. Here are some things she can do right now and some things I always want to remember about her right now.

(and I just remembered that I didn't do one for Jack on New Years day, so I will do that tomorrow, I promise).

She speaks like a 4 yr old. She's always been advanced with her speech (maybe it's genetic lol) and that has just continued. .

she runs, jumps, kicks, climbs, throws, catches* and all that fun stuff.

she is absolutely OBSESSED with Jack. she loves him like I have never seen a child love another child. I really thought that Maria was protective of her when she was born, but that is NOTHING compared to how Sophia is with Jack.

she eats with a spoon and fork well, however it's not exactly clean...same goes for a cup (she does it, but if we're having company or something i usually just give her a sippy so she doesnt get all excited and knock it over).

she makes up songs and sings them all.the.time. (yesterdays went a little something like this...."happy birthday to meeee. everyone gonna sing to meee. because it's my birthdeeee.) and i hope i always remember the way she dances right now.

she recognizes the basic shapes and colors

she knows some letters (including "S" of course) and tries desperately to write her name.

she speaks Spanish...neither of us have any idea what she's saying, but who cares. (she's actually doing it right now lol)

She almost always puts her fingers in her dimples when you ask her to smile for a picture.

she's an EXTREMELY picky eater (which I'm SURE is Gods punishment for the way I was about eating at her age...or ALL ages lol) and this includes hiding food in her cheeks and storing it for hours...or going and spitting it out in the bathroom (another one of those things that I have NO idea where she got it from....;-)**

She's about the hungriest child ever. She asks for food CONSTANTLY and last week she finally found an answer to my question of "why are you always asking for food?". her answer..."because mommy, I'm hungry when my bodies hungry". Can't really argue with that logic (esp. when she says it while she's lifting up her shirt and rubbing her belly).***

she likes to "call" people on her phone and she actually has a whole conversation with them that generally starts a little something like this..."hey. whats up. what are you doing? nothing? oh. ok...." and almost always leads to "when you comin over?".

she's working on sharing and taking turns. however I think the fact that I've heard her put her barbies "in the corner" says a little something about how that's going lol

she LOVES being read to. her favorite is "are you my mother". she asks me to read it to her daily and i do it happily because i know that it wont be long before she's reading it on her own.****

she begs EVERY DAY to go to preschool and still gets teary when we drop Maria off at school.

She's sooooo polite it's about the cutest thing ever. Even if I tell her no about something she STILL says "ok thanks mom".

She's always asking people to "play twirly whirl" with her. Which pretty much just consist of each party holding one end of a string and twirling it around. But she thinks its the coolest thing ever. :D

*ok, her catching isnt exactly perfected yet, but she still tries and that's whats important.

**i know that sentence is grammatically incorrect, but I can't figure out how to fix it and still make it say what I want.

***she actually did this at the restaurant last night...gotta love her.

****she has most of it memorized already. i keep trying to get it on video and can't quite get it all for one reason or another.

yes, ANOTHER new blog

2010-01-05T13:32:00.003-05:00

So, last time I told you about a new photo blog I'm doing (taking a pic a day for the year). Well, I'm also starting a cooking blog.

www.reneecancook.blogspot.com

I've got the intro up right now. I've got a couple recipes typed up and saved but I would like to try to get pics of them before I post them. I started it because I am ALWAYS being asked for my recipes for stuff, so I just thought it would be fun to devote a blog to it. Also, because I want to let people know that even the best cooks make mistakes and burn things and can't get certain things to work. I would say that I am a pretty good cook, but I do mess stuff up quite a bit and I try to learn from it (*try*). So I'd like to share some of that with people too. I hope you'll follow me over there and maybe we can learn a little bit from each other.

365...er 362 days

2010-01-03T17:35:00.004-05:00

I just read a blog that shared an awesome idea. You take a picture a day, every day of the year and post it on a blog. I've decided to do it. IDK what my theme will be just yet, so until I find my inspiration, it will be totally random. also, I will try my best to not put the pics on my facebook for those of you that are my friends over there, so as to avoid the monotony (except for the first one because i was unprepared).

Here's the link to it, so follow me over there and let me know if you are doing it too and I will follow you too!

last new years eve..

2009-12-31T14:10:00.003-05:00

All I can seem to think about today is what I was doing last year on this day.

Last year on this day I was in the hospital.

I was waiting (impatiently) to have Jack.
I was scared.
I was nervous.
I was happy.
I was MISSING MY GIRLS sooo badly.
I was hoping and praying for a high platelet count.
I was hoping and praying for him to "catch up" quickly.
I was hoping and praying that nothing was wrong with his belly.
I was hoping and praying I'd get to see my LAST baby before anyone else in the family (no such luck).
I was hoping I could handle 3 babies in less than 4 years.

I have no idea what 2010 is going to hold for our family, but I do know that we have been very blessed during 2009 and that's all we can really hope for.

everyone else is doing it

2009-12-28T09:59:00.006-05:00

Since everyone else is doing it, I guess I'll do MY Christmas recap with a few of the million pics I took. :D

Well, we have definitely had a BUSY last 5 days. AWESOME, but busy.

Wednesday, we went to this free family event that was sponsored by the local churches, called "The Arctic Express". It was fun and the kids had a really good time.

Thursday we had some fun checking out the lights (see the video in my last post), after opening some new Christmas PJ's.

Christmas day was awesome, of course! We did just what we ALL wanted to do. We stayed home and enjoyed the day playing with toys, visiting with family and eating! The kids LOVED all their gifts. We had a yummy dinner, of which, there were NO leftovers! (I'm thinking about going and buying another ham so we can have some "leftovers" lol).

Saturday morning Josh's dad brought gifts over and we had a nice Christmas visit with them.

TANGENT:I think that my father in law is the best "receiver" of gifts that I know. No matter what it is, he is always so thankful and appreciative of it. I know that's a strange thing to say, but I always think of that because I hate when you think you got someone something they will like and they are just like "eh". He is never like that. He always recognizes the work that was put into something etc.

Also Saturday afternoon was my dad's family Christmas party which was lots of fun. There were quite a few people missing, but also some out of towners that got to be there, so that was really nice.

Sunday we went to my moms house for our Christmas visit. We got to see my Grandma (first time since June) so that was really good. And everyone got some really nice gifts and had some good food.

So the next couple days are going to be spent finding places for the new toys, getting rid of some old ones and catching up on the laundry (for me) and playing with new toys and watching new movies (for the kids). I hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Christmas!

Some awesome Christmas Lights

2009-12-24T19:41:00.004-05:00

This year, we spent our Christmas Eve checking out the Christmas lights around here (after putting on new Christmas Eve jammies :D). A couple of houses were AMAZING and I took a video of the one house. Enjoy!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Not wrong, just different

2009-12-23T15:23:00.003-05:00

Why do some people have the "my way or the highway" mentality? Just because something is different, doesn't make it wrong.
Why do I HAVE to do things the way you did them?
Why must everything I do be taken as a personal insult?
When will it be OK for me to raise MY CHILDREN, MY WAY?
Why would a 40-something woman liken herself to a 90-something great grandmother, just to prove a point?
Why would a grandma THREATEN to move 12 hrs away from her grandchildren, or never get them Christmas gifts again just because she can't get her way?
Why would someone accuse her own daughter of not loving her?
Why would someone keep herself from seeing her own family on Christmas out of sheer stubbornness?
Why would someone who supposedly "hates" the way her mother acts, act THE EXACT SAME WAY?
Why, would you act like a petulant child because everything can't be the exact way you want it?
Why wouldn't you just enjoy the second best option and make it as nice as possible?

These are the questions plaguing my brain for the last couple of days (among many others). I guess there are some people that I will never understand. People that need to control everything and everyone and have everything THEIR WAY, or just not at all. I feel like I can't make everyone happy, no matter what I do. So I've chosen my children, my husband and myself. I've chosen our happiness over hers. And I still feel like a failure. But I'm a failure either way, so...

The Best Christmas Movies

2009-12-20T13:28:00.005-05:00

I've been called a Christmas fanatic, a Christmas-aholic and a Christmas freak (upon many others, I'm sure lol). So I'd like to share some Christmas wisdom. And what do I know more about than Christmas?...MOVIES of course! So here are some that I watch at Christmastime (or all year long lol). They aren't in any particular order, just what I thought of when I started typing. If you feel that a grave miscarriage of justice has been done because I've left off one of your favorites, let me know, I may have just forgotten it because I've had a long couple of days. And also, if you haven't see ALL of these movies...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR...CHRISTMAS?! ;-)

Christmas with the Kranks

The Santa Clause

Elf

The Polar Express

Miracle on 34th St (the original, but preferably in color)

A Christmas Story

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

The Family Stone

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

A Christmas Carol

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

Home Alone (I will include 1 & 2, but NOT 3)

Frosty the Snowman

A Charlie Brown Christmas

It's a Wonderful Life

The Family Man

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Jingle All the Way

A Christmas Carol (the one with George C. Scott. all others suck)

Deck the Halls

Jack Frost

Scrooged

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

Comfort and Joy (this a made for TV one, but it's one of my faves)

Twas the Night Before Christmas (the animated one with the mice and the clock)

Annie*

While You Where Sleeping*

Serendipity*

The Holiday*

Last Holiday*

Love, Actually*

We also like to watch some religious ones at Easter and Christmas. Some of our favorites include...

The Greatest Story Ever told

The Passion of the Christ

The Ten Commandments

Merry Christmas!!

*These are not necessarily Christmas movies, they are just set at Christmastime and I always watch them at Christmastime.

"normal" is over-rated

2009-12-17T08:31:00.005-05:00

I've never liked the word "normal" and I try desperately not to use it, ESPECIALLY when talking about my kids. My mom used to say "why can't you just be normal" to me all.the.time and it really hurt because I look at people and don't really think ANYONE is normal, right? I mean what is normal?

However, I am not ashamed to say that whatever normal is, my sweet, wonderful little Jackson, is not. He's got these little "quirks" (that's what we've decided to call them because it's less hurtful than "omg that kid is freaking weird" lol).

Example #1 hugging/petting/chasing the vacuum cleaner. Often, if I've misplaced him, I can go into my closet and there he is laying on the vacuum sucking his thumb. Then he'll sit up all excited, petting the vacuum, practically begging me to sweep the floors. And of course I give in (our floors have never been cleaner, btw).

And how about his...uh...foot fetish(?). Most babies have a "lovie" of some kind. A blanket or stuffed animal that catches their eye around 9 months of age. Jack...nah...none of those were good enough. For Jack, it's socks. yep, any old sock, will do (clean, of course). If he's crying, you hand that boy a sock and he'll immediately put his thumb and half of the sock in his mouth and he'll be asleep in no time.

This one is a two-fer because you can see the sock in his hand and he's also under the Christmas tree which is his new favorite place.

He thinks it's hilarious to growl at people (me mostly). He'll hide behind something and I'll hear him start "grrrrrr" and then he'll peak out from behind whatever it is and laugh his little head off.

And last, but not least, he sleeps like this....

It's total cuteness, but ohmehgah he's a cranky little guy when he wakes up after being in that position for an hour.

We've talked about it and decided that if he ends up like that kid from "the middle" we're going to love him just the same. ***the saaame*** (sorry, you'd have to have seen the show, to think that's funny but i couldn't resist).

The Nutcracker

2009-12-14T13:32:00.007-05:00

One of those awesome traditions that comes with Christmas, is that my mom takes my sisters and I (and next year the girls!) to see the Nutcracker Ballet at the Palace Theater (which is soooo gorgeous and filled with awesome history BTW. if you ever get a chance to see anything there, do it!). It was awesome, as usual. However there was a slip-up that involved a male dancer, a female dancers head & a wall. yah. I would have LOVED to be backstage after that one....LOL.

I can't wait to take the girls next year. Sophia was DEFINITELY not ready for it this year and I didn't want to take Maria without her, so we just decided to take them both next year so they can really enjoy it. I don't want to be like the crazy people that bring babies to the ballet and then of course, they scream and are miserable the whole time. And it always amazes me how many people get there late. Ugh. It's so obnoxious. People pay good money to go there only to miss the whole first act because people are late and can't find their seats. Then their kids scream, talk, whine etc. through the whole thing because they aren't ready for it. blah :-P. I told my mom that when we are rich we'll by 3 rows of seats then we wont have to worry about the people around us LOL.

So, here are some of the pics I got. We always take a pic of us girls and this was the first time I took any during the performance because I was never sure how they would come out without the flash. But I have to say, they are pretty good and next year I'll probably try to take some of the parts I missed this year. Some of them are kind of blurry because they were moving so fast, but otherwise good. A bunch of the costumes were new and a few things had been changed up, so that was nice. Also, this year we were in the balcony, which we actually liked better than the floor seats we usually get. I got another ornament...and yes I forgot to take a pic of it, sorry. All around it was a really great day with the girls.

I can hear the music in my head when I look at this pic.

Everyones favorite "the big dress lady".

All of the "toys".

These two were definitely the best we've ever seen

This was all the leads getting flowers at the end.

Mid-preschool crisis

2009-12-10T08:38:00.004-05:00

So, I'm pretty sure that Maria is having a midlife crisis...or mid-preschool crisis as it were. It seems like the last couple weeks, whenever we talk to her about something exciting that's going to happen, she's running down all the possible ways it could go wrong. This morning I said "why are you so worried all the time. just enjoy life, like the rest of us. you're going to give yourself an ulcer" To which she began asking "what's an ulcer? why i gonna have one? I don't want to have an ulcer..." (good one, Renee!)

Example A:
Me: If we get enough snow, we can go out and sled down the hill! :D
Sophia: YAAAAHHH!!!!
Maria: But Mommy, we don't have enough "slides". And there's not enough snow. I don't want to fall out of the slide. It's too cold so my hands will get cold. I can't find my gloves or my hood. Where you put my snow pants?

Example B:
Me: Do you guys want to go see Santa!?! :D
Sophia: YAAAAHHH! I wanna see santa and his beard! (said more like bird) lol
Maria: OK. But how we gonna get there? He can't talk because his beard is on his face. You tell him he have to wear pants* and his hat...and his coat. But he can't have a beard because then he can't talk.

Where, oh where, did my innocent child go. Over night, she's turned into a 45 yr old man who needs Cymbalta.**

*This is because my little prude did not take too kindly to the Rockets, during the Thanksgiving day parade, only wearing "santa's shirt, but not his pants and I don't want to see their knees". yah...I suppose that one could have been Example C.

**Don't worry, I would never put my child on drugs. :D

Best Christmas Tree EVER

2009-12-07T14:43:00.006-05:00

Ok, IDK if that's actually true, but it's what my mom says EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR. so I feel a need to keep the tradition alive.

As I was thinking about what to share with you all today, I remembered that I hadn't shared the pics of our tree with my blogger friends who are not also my facebook friends.

We went to a different place this year to get our tree, and I think it was a winner. It might be our new "place". However, the girls did not feel that the woods surrounding this particular tree farm were adequate for their urination needs and they refused to go, even though they swore they could do it, pulled down their pants and squatted....for a full 2 minutes...in the cold....true story. Aaaanywho, needless to say, they each put about eleventy billion ornaments on the same branch which brought the bottom half of the tree to the ground, so momma had to help them out a little bit with their dispersment lol. And then Josh came lifted them up so they could put some on the very top, which they just loved. They did the same thing last year, so we were not all that surprised. And when they do it next year (plus 1), we wont be surprised then either. One of those memories, I just love about the holidays. However, teaching Jackson that crawling all the way under the tree and subsequently sit up and/or grabbing anything he can find, is not a good idea....not one of my favorite memories from this year. Though, when he's 15 and wont let me kiss him in public, I'll probably cherish it. Until then we have a tree that is strangely bare on all of the very bottom branches. Well, enough of all that. here ya go...

Josh and I joked that the light in this pic was God saying He approved of our choice. lol

They've been sitting there or in the chair beside the tree or in the loveseat beside my Christmas village, just watching. I love it. Simple pleasures, I guess.

And the finished product....basically. It's one of MY Christmas traditions to rearrange the ornaments all season long (It must be genetic because my mom does it too).

Oh and for those of you worrying (I know it was keeping you up at night) over the family pic in the last post...we "sort of" solved the problem. You'll see if you give me your address so I can send you one. :D

christmas pics, NOT for the scrapbook

2009-12-06T16:36:00.005-05:00

I'm not ashamed to say, I'm having a shitty day. Ohmegah...now, I'm rhyming.

Josh and I were picking at each other this morning. Then we try for the SECOND day in a row to get a family pic in front of the tree, and for the SECOND day in a row, Sophia absolutely refuses to smile, which, of course, lead to tears, tears and more tears. Ugh. TURD! It's not exactly something that happens in the blink of an eye, ya know (getting all 5 of us bathed, dressed in dress clothes, hair done, makeup done, posed, tripod up, etc., etc....). So, doing it two days in a row is a HUUUUGE PITA. So Whatthehellevah! I give up for the day. I totally understand that it's not even 5:00p, but, I'm throwing in the towel of this day. Josh just said "well, we can try again tomorrow". I really admire his sticktoitiveness. He really is the yin to my yang. lol

So this is what we ended up with...

I'm actually thinking of just sending this one out since the rest of us look good.

music to my ears

2009-12-05T09:46:00.002-05:00

So, I'm pretty sure that my parenting skills are mildly successful. The older they get (obviously) the more things that come up. HOWEVER if you start things when they are young (like respect for everyone and everything, manners, sharing etc) they will carry over to when they are older. I know I was not the best kid when I was growing up, but I would never have spoken to my mother the way I've heard some children speak to theirs. It made me so proud to see that Maria got the highest score on "respect for others" and "respect for property" on her evaluation at school every month so far.

So, back to the point of all of this. We have been working on "taking turns" because as every toddlers knows...everything is MINE! lol. So I've sort of just eliminated the issue. If they start fighting over something, I take it. And I tell them that when they learn to take turns they can have it back. And ohmyword, I think it's actually working. It's been about two weeks (of being CONSISTENT) and this morning when I was barely opening my eyes I heard this beautiful exchange between my girls....

Maria: Today is you're turn to get the pop-tarts, Pia.
Sophia: Thanks Mia.
Maria: Yesterday was my turn, so today is your turn.
Sophia: Today is your turn to have the princess cup.
Maria: YAH! Thanks Pia!! You have the princess cup tomorrow.
Sopha: OK Mia.

It's like music to a mothers ears :D

baby bunching

2009-12-03T15:05:00.005-05:00

I love reading blogs that are informative and helpful. This is definitely one of those blogs.

http://www.babybunching.com/

When you are blessed with three children in less than 4 years, like we have been, you are in a totally different subset of parenthood called "baby bunchers". There are things that you have to be equipped to handle that someone who has three children in 6 or 7 years, would never think of having to deal with. You don't have an older child to hold the hand of one of the younger ones. You don't even have one child that is old enough not to hold your hand in public. And yet, amidst all your blessings, you were not blessed with that third arm everyones always talking about.

You can't just go out to the mall, on a boring day, with that cute little bundle tucked in the stroller, like you could when you had one (or even two). Actually, the phrase "boring day" hasn't even entered your mind in the last 4 years except to be on your Christmas wish list.

Even being at home and doing everyday activities (like eating dinner) can be extremely...well...eventful. Getting a break is rare (unless you have awesome parents, like mine, who are happy to spend some time with their Grandkids). Because finding someone capable of replacing you, is...well, not an easy task. Not everyone, can handle the crying, fighting, whining and all-around neediness that are included in the job of taking care of 3 children under the age of 5.

Having an "outside job" would be laughable. So you have to cut corners and make sacrifices where you can, and accept that things aren't going to be like they were when you were dating. And why would you want them to be? Even through all of that craziness and stress we wouldn't change our lives "back the way they were" for anything in this world. Because that would mean cutting out the best part.

Would things be easier if we had 3 or 4 years between our children? Of course. But there isn't anything in this world that is worth having, that is easy to get. (Didn't a great man say something like that once?). We didn't decide to have our kids less than 2 years apart (with about every pregnancy complication known to man, and a total of 4 months in the NICU) because we thought it would be a piece of cake. (Obviously) We did it because we knew it would be difficult, but we also knew we could make it through together and we'd be an even stronger couple (family) for it. And we knew it would be SOOO worth it to have these wonderful children in our lives forever.

Baby bunching, is not for the weak. It is not for the selfish or the impatient. It's not for everyone, but if it is for you, it's incredibly rewarding. And if you are blessed to be a baby buncher (by choice...or not), I highly recommend http://www.babybunching.com/ to help you out through the journey.

Perfectly Imperfect

2009-11-30T15:18:00.002-05:00

I was thinking the other day (actually it was just five minutes ago, but as every stand up comic knows, it sounds better as "the other day") about how some people focus soooo hard on trying to be perfect and making everyone in the world believe that they are so perfect and everything in their life is so perfect, that they miss out on how perfect, being imperfect, is. Life is a lot easier, the more you are yourself, and the less you are...well, a lier.

I know that my marraige isn't perfect. We fight. OF COURSE we do! Everyone fights. I would be worried if we didn't. So why should I pretend that we don't?

I know my kids aren't perfect (well they are perfect to me, OF COURSE ;-)). But they act out. They are bad when I most want them to be good. They have recently taken to talking back a little...er...more than a little (thank you preschool). Why can't I admit that they aren't perfect all the time and ask for suggestions from other moms with perfectly imperfect kids?

I haven't always gotten along with my in-laws. I really don't think that's something I've cornered the market on....and definitely not in THIS family. They've made me cry and they've made me laugh. Just like my family has. Things got a lot easier when I stopped trying to be the "perfect daughter-in-law" and just started being myself and admitted that our relationsip wasn't going to be perfect, but we all wanted to at least try to make it work.

And more than ANYTHING, I know that I AM NOT PERFECT. I have made many, many, many mistakes in this life and I KNOW that I will be making a million more before it's over. What is so wrong with admitting that? Isn't that what blogging is about? Isn't that what FRIENDSHIP is about? Admitting when things are shitty and getting support from other women who are also perfectly imperfect, and have gone through it too.

Who wants to read a blog written by some self-important, narcissitic, bitch, who thinks the sun shines out her ass? NOT ME! I want to read (and do read) blogs written by women who have stuff go wrong in their lives and can laugh at themselves and their family and friends. Can make fun of how life just isn't perfect. My parents told me to do my best and if I screw up, laugh it off, dust myself off and try again. It doesn't just pertain to falling on your ass in front of the most popular boy in school (which I did...in a skirt...yah). It pertains to marraige, and parenting and friendships and LIFE. Why can't some people get off their high horses and start being HONEST...to EVERYONE? It might make things a lot easier on this family.

I wish...

2009-11-29T13:22:00.004-05:00

A list of things Maria has said she wishes for this week.

I wish I could be a fireman like Gramma "Murty".

I wish I could have a real giraffe and ride him.

I wish I could be a pirate...argg!!! (with one eye closed and a fist raised in the air).

I wish I could have a camera and take "picca's" like you.

I wish I could have a preeeetty ring like yours.

I wish I could be a kitty cat.

I wish I could be a mommy and have a daddy like you. (by "daddy" she meant Josh. She was saying it b/c we were hugging in the kitchen and he said "I love you" to me).

I wish I could go ice skating like those boys (the ones in my Christmas village).

I wish Daddy didn't have to go to work. (followed by Josh saying "well mommy can go to work and I'll stay home. To which she said "NOOOO I wish Mommy AND Daddy didn't go to work and stay home with us!...So I think her basic wish here is for us to win the lottery lol)

Best Thanksgiving EVER

2009-11-27T10:21:00.004-05:00

Not the greatest pic of Josh or I, but overall it's a winner since 2 out of 3 of the kids are looking AND smiling. lol Also, notice how good Josh is getting at his modified smile.

I really, can't explain what was so awesome about it, but it really was the best one ever. Ok, I can't say that. I have to say the BEST one ever was the one 7 yrs ago. Which was the day after my first date with Josh and I couldn't stop thinking about him all day and wondering if he was going to call

Ok, back to this year....I feel like every year I just can't make everyone happy, least of all, MYSELF. (shocker!) And then some years Josh's mom has to work so we don't even get to see her or their family, which sucks. And I always feel like my mom is just NEVER happy. No matter how much time we spend there or what time we plan to be there, it's just NEVER right. Which is extremely frustrating when you are dragging a family of 5 all over town (3 of whom are under the age of 5). I usually end up feeling like we just shouldn't do it at all.

However, we lucked out this year. My sister had to work until 3 so we weren't going to eat at my moms until later. Which meant we got to spend a full 3 hours with BOTH families. I got to watch the parade (which has always been my favorite part of the day!) And we got to eat at both houses without feeling like we'd just eaten enough for 10 in a 2 hour span of time. It was just a really nice day. We got home at a decent hour. Put the kids to bed and watched a Christmas movie together. Perfection.

No easy way to say toothless

2009-11-24T16:42:00.004-05:00

There isn't an easy way to say this...my husband is a hill-billy.

Ok, so he isn't REALLY a hill-billy (does that have a hyphen b/c it's looking kinda weird both ways...). Aaaanywho. The day after we started getting over the swine flu (also known as the worst diet ev.ah.) He started complaining of his front, top tooth hurting. I was like "Wah? front AND top? No, no, no. That can't be." He says "yes, dear wife. front AND top. it hurts like a mo.fo." (yes we are THAT gangsta).

Of course he makes his way to the ONLY dentist that will take him before the world ends on 2012. (please don't get any ideas about my Mayan calendar worship, I actually think that is a bunch of nonsense). So he goes there and comes home in full fledged tears. and toothless. which one of those things is worse, because I honestly can't decide which one needs to be in all caps since they are both so freaking shitty. The girls, sweethearts that they are, got all upset because he was so upset. I get all upset because he looks in the mirror and gets EVEN MORE upset. So I start yelling obscenities at God...or the ceiling (because I'm still slightly confused on whether He is everywhere or just...UP). Anyway, I was a bit irate at our "bad luck" that after 5 years I am still desperately trying to call "bad luck" and not "God hates everyone in this house and is trying kill us". But the basic jist is that when he was a kid he cracked it and all this time it has been dying because it was never fixed. So it chose one month before Christmas to officially "give up the ghost".

This is the point where I would normally "insert photo here". But, sorry, I promised I wouldn't show anyone any pictures. Which I find sort of funny since he's walking around like that, sooo...?? Anyway, I promised and I respect him, so you'll just have to imagine it. Or don't. Yah, DON'T.

So here we are...trying to make jokes about it to keep upbeat. The good part is....he's got a place for straws? Hey, I'm trying here people!! Actually it has been sort of funny since I convinced him to speak with a southern accent to "complete the look". He's definitely getting better at it. LOL.

Ok seriously we are just kinda waiting until we get the money for a new tooth. yah. those things are freaking expensive. So there is a slight chance I'm going to have to get a job on nights and weekends and NEVER see josh and the kids. Yah a big ole (:-P) on that, but it would just be temporary. Honestly I don't know if I could even find a job since it's been almost 5 years since I worked and even then it was during the day because I was a phone answerer extraordinaire. And there is NO WAY I'm going to work during the days and have the kids be raised by someone else. Josh and I decided 5 1/2 years ago that we wanted there to always be one of us home with them and we aren't about to change it now, when they need me the most. So I really don't know what's gonna happen with that. Either way it takes 2 weeks to get the "flipper" back (yes, that is what it's called...listen, I don't name the things, I just buy them). so my dreams of family Christmas pictures are pretty much shot. Which reminds me of another thing Joshy's working on...smiling without showing any teeth.

I wish I was kidding.

Christmas Questions

2009-11-21T18:14:00.003-05:00

We've been gearing up for the Christmas holiday in this house. Josh has the benefit (ha!) of being married to a self proclaimed Christmas freak! I love everything about it and I refuse to wait until after Thanksgiving to start the fun. Sooooo in the preparations, I have had to answer a few questions from the girls. The best of which came from Maria... "How can the reindeer fly if they don't have any wings?" The second came from Sophia..."Is it time to go to Christmastime NOOOOW?"

Oh and as an added bonus Maria tells me this "hold on Mommy. I gonna go get my costume so I can be ready for Christmas" She comes back wearing a jack-o-lantern headband and proclaims "Now I'm ready for Santa!" I think we have a little work to do before we are ready for the upcoming holiday season.

2009-11-18T15:39:00.003-05:00

So, I'm totally out of things to say because in case you've been living under a rock (or you aren't friends with me on facebook), and didn't know, we have all been battling the swine flu for the last 8 days and counting. But I feel that I've been a totally neglectful blogger, so I have to give you something. This was from Danifred. One of my favoritist bloggers on the block because she so real and also has a great sense of humor. I am nominating anyone else whose blog has been suffering lately. I say we all band together and blame the economy (never ourselves ;-) So the deal is you can only use one word to answer. So here goes.

1. Where is your cell phone? questionable
2. Your hair? messy
3. Your mother? difficult
4. Your father? asshole
5. Your favorite food? chocolate
6. Your dream last night? weird
7. Your favorite drink? water
8. Your dream/goal? peacefulness
9. What room are you in? living
10. Your hobby? scrapbooking
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? secure
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? thin
15. Muffins? chocolate
16. Wish list item? lottery
17. Where did you grow up? uniontown
18. Last thing you did? cleaned
19. What are you wearing? pajamas
20. Your TV? madagascar
21. Your pets? outside
22. Friends? supportive
23. Your life? stressfull
24. Your mood? irritable
25. Missing someone? nope
26. Vehicle? love
27. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
28. Your favorite store? TRU (lol yes, that is as pathetic as it sounds)
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? weeks
32. Your best friend? Versailles
33. One place that I go to over and over? walmart
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? step-dad
35. Favorite place to eat? SUNNY'S!!!!!!

hearing is in the ear of the beholder...

2009-11-10T14:16:00.005-05:00

....or something like that.

We've had a few frustrations over at the McDonald household due to a "promise" I made to Sophia. It's easy to get things mixed up in a 2 yr olds head.

I say....."You can't go to Preschool until you are potty trained"
She hears...."when I get potty trained, I will get to go to Preschool."

So these last couple weeks that she's been potty trained have been frustrating for the poor girl. I keep trying to bribe her (yes, I know!). I've been buying all these books to give to them for Christmas. So the last two days, I've given her one when we get back home. Pretty soon I'm gonna run out of books! lol. So I'm looking for something to get her into, that she will see as "school". A friend of mine suggested the Library. So, I'm definitely going to look into this! It'll be especially good for her, since she is such a little reader. (which reminds me, I'll have to post the video of her "reading" her favorite book that she has memorized.)

Poor Jackson, has been working on these teeth for.ev.er. I really wish, for everyones sake, he would get them already. Drool and tears everywhere. We're gonna need a raft pretty soon ;-) lol.

AFA Maria goes, she's spectacular! Joshs aunt and cousins were in this weekend to go to the "joke", and I was soooo happy they got to come over and visit beforehand, since the kids and I weren't going. So his youngest cousin, Hannah, was teaching the girls all this sign language. I can't even remember all of it, but she did and I guess she taught it to her class yesterday at school. I was so proud of her. :D I swear, they know what they are talking about when they say "their brains are like sponges"! They remember EVERYTHING. It's so amazing to see them learn something new. Even when they are little and first standing up for the first time, like Jack. It's so awesome to see the surprise on his face when he realized what he did. I just love, love, love it! :D

That's what I like about you

2009-10-29T15:22:00.003-04:00

***baby, this is us.

I like a man who's crazy about me
I like a man who can live without me too
That's what I like about you

I like a man who will lay down beside me
I like a man who will stand up to me too
That's what I like about you

Don't want a man to be my twin
Under my thumb, under my skin
Don't want a man like a shadow on the ground
With nothing else to do but follow me around

I like a man who will cry on my shoulder
Who don't mind if I cry sometimes too
That's what I like about you

I like a man who can make it happen
Who can get me laughing when my whole world breaks in two
That's what I like about you

You can be soft, honey, you can be strong
Maybe that's the reason we get along
Everything you do, you do just right
You're tender in love, tough in a fight

I like a man who will lay down beside me
Stand up to me, cry on my shoulder
Crazy 'bout me, can't live without me too
That's what I like about, can't live my life without
That's what I like about you

happy birthday!

2009-10-29T14:05:00.005-04:00

So Josh's birthday is in a couple days. And in light of this event, I'm going to share with you, the reasons we love you so very much....

You play with the girls every night. When I look out the window and see you teaching something new to those girls who adore you so much, it melts my heart.
The aforementioned "playtime" gives me some time to relax every night.
You do the dishes every week, because you know I hate the handwashing.
You compliment my cooking. And not just now that it's good, you did it when it was horrible...practically inedible. It tells me that you care about my feelings and I love it.
You actually WANT to go Christmas shopping for the kids every year and you actually get mad if I do it all myself.
(Jack) "You give me a bottle in the middle of the night when I'm hungry."
You dance and sing and act silly with us.
You and I love each other more and more every day, inspite of EVERYTHING that we've been through in the last 7 years.
You tell me I'm beautiful when I'm in sweatpants and a t-shirt and havent showered in two days. I know you don't mean it, but I love that you say it anyway.
(Maria) "you kick my ball way up in the sky and I catch it"
We talk about our future together and what it will be like when we have 10 grandkids and we're sitting on our front porch rockers watching them play in the yard. I love that you get the same pleasure out of a simple life that I do.
You know what I'm thinking before I say it.
(Sophia) "you play train track in the basement with me"
You cried when you heard "it won't be like this for long" for the first time. (and you will kill me for saying that!)
(Renee) "You're the cheese to my macaroni".

the secret to potty training

2009-10-26T09:24:00.004-04:00

I feel pretty confident sharing with you all the secret to potty training. Yes, folks, you heard right, I have the secret, after potty training two children. ;-) I know this may be hard for you to believe, but it's true. I don't know why all those pediatricians who write books never called me to ask about it, because I've been sitting at home for the last 4 1/2 years waiting. So here goes, the secret to potty training is....DON'T RUSH OR PUSH! Right around 18 months, we all start getting antsy about the amount of money we're spending on diapers or how disgusting it is to change a 2 yr olds poopy diaper (which makes no sense at all, b/c it isn't any MORE disgusting than changing a 2 month olds diaper). And we read the books and listen the Dr. who all say "any time you want to you can start potty training" and "MOST children are potty trained by age 2" (which I find to be total crap b/c I hardly know of any kids that were PT by age 2).

When it was Maria, I didn't worry as much because she was so delayed with everything else and mentally I didn't feel like she could even comprehend it. So yes, she wasn't PT until she was probably 3. And we worked on it FOR.EV.ER before that because she didn't "get it" ya know. She was spending half the day on there and if she went it was shear luck, not because she knew she had to. It was stupid. Why didn't I just wait until she was ready instead of forcing it because I was ready. Because once she was ready, it was the easiest thing ever. We took a break and went back to it and that time, she got it right away and it was fun and she felt good about herself, etc.

Which brings me to Sophia. We had tried this before with no luck. she would pee on the floor (yes, you heard right) while she was waiting to get her diaper changed. The girl COULDN'T hold it. So why on earth, did I (and everyone else) push her so hard to go on the potty? We did that for a week and I just said "no. I'm not doing this. I'm not going to spend weeks and weeks fighting with her over something so stupid" So, I just dropped it for a month. This time when I put panties on her last week...pure perfection! She came to me about a half an hour later and said "mommy, I think I need to go pee". And it's been like that ever since. I have never in my life heard of anyone having such an easy time. Yes, she's 2 1/2 (ok, more like she'll be 3 in two months...) and I've been berated by people about letting her wear diapers this long, but at the same time...THERE WERE NO FIGHTS! there was no frustration (from her OR us). It was not a struggle, it was just the natural progression of things. The way I look at it, I have enough things I need to fight with them over, I really don't want to add another. I mean, I don't advocate people waiting until the kid is in kindergarten or anything, I just think that you know your child and you know when they are able to understand certain things and I have a very hard time believing that that is at 18 months. In my opinion, it is the parents who are trained, not the child. It's like how my mom always asks Maria if she needs to go (like right after she eats, etc.). It's stupid. SHE knows if she needs to go, and SHE will tell YOU. I am not trained, she is! I can't ever remember asking Maria if she needed to go. And I have never once this week, asked Sophia if she needed to go. I have relied solely on her telling me and she hasn't had a single accident. Ok, I take that back. The very first day I forgot to put her diaper back on her for her nap and she couldn't get herself situated on the potty before she went a little bit. But otherwise, she's been golden! And I swear, I'm doing it this way for Jack too. If it's worked for 2 out of 2...it's gotta be right...right?

in case you missed it

2009-10-15T10:01:00.003-04:00

Here's a little cuteness to brighten your day :D

Is 12 days a sabbatical or a desertion?

2009-10-02T19:14:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone! I know I've been awful lately. Mostly that is because all that is really on my mind lately is political corruption and government reform and I don't want to become one of THOSE bloggers who can only talk about one thing and that one thing usually gets people all hostile and pissy. Sooooo that has lead to some dead air (or keyboard....or screen?) on my part and I apologize. Another little bump in the road is that my camera...or my cord...or my computer is being a jackass lately and wont upload my pics. So I feel like I'm a little disconnected on that front.

Nevertheless, we've been doing pretty well in the McDonald household. Jack is EVERYWHERE which is awesome. He keeps himself entertained and is soooo much happier. I can't believe that he's (technically) 9 months old (yesterday). I can't even see that little 4 lb 7 oz baybee I delivered on that wonderfully, stressfully New Years Day. OooooKkkk that's enough of a trip down memory lane for now.

We've all been sick (some more than others) and we've all done our share of complaining (some more than others). But we got over it without any meds (woot woot!) and Maria only missed one day of school. It was on that day, that I fell in love with her preschool schedule being Mon, Tues, Wed, on and Thurs, Fri off. It was really nice that she had 4 days straight (well, 5) to just rest at home.

She's been doing really well with the preschool and she's picked up some WOOOOONDERFUL new phrases and a WOOOOOONDERFUL new attitude. Yah....it's been great having to say the phrase "I am your mother, you don't talk to me that way!" 156465435 times a day. :D My mom said to me today "maybe she just needs a little refresher course". I laughed out loud because it sounded like we were a mafia family talking about putting a hit out on a member that was getting out of line or "going off grid" as they say on TV.

Night Terrors

2009-09-19T11:27:00.004-04:00

This is mostly for my reference so that I can remember perfectly what happened. I'm always afraid that I will forget something important and this important.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror

In the last 6 months Maria has had probably 3-4 Night Terrors (I only recently was able to put a name to the situation). Thursday night, though, was something I've never seen before and hope to NEVER see again. I would say Josh and I (and Maria) slept a total of 1 hr the entire night.

She went to bed at 8:00 like usual and probably fell asleep within an hour. But by the time Josh and I went to bed at 10:00 she was a hysterical, inconsolable, mess. She was screaming, drenched in sweat, her heart was beating out of her chest. Her eyes were bulging out and darting around the room and she was acting like I wasn't even there. She was shaking uncontrollably and pointing on top of her dresser. The only thing I could understand that she was saying, was "swiper!" (from Dora). I swear it was like she was "possessed" as dumb as that sounds, it's what it looked like. I held her for a while until she got calmed down (about 15 minutes). I went back to bed and within a half an hour she was screaming again.

This time it was bugs. She was going crazy in bed slapping her legs and all over her bed. Kicking her sheets and throwing everything. Josh was with me and he picked her up to hold her and she started hitting him and screaming "bugs get out of here" (as if he were a bug). It was the same thing with her looking around us, but not AT us. She wasn't really awake but she was just going nuts. She had woken up Sophia so we decided to put her in our room so we could console her easier. Josh put her down and got her some new clothes (she was DRENCHED). I thought she was walking behind me, but when I turned around I saw her walking pressed up against the wall (like there was something on the floor). She then started jumping over what I can only imagine were "bugs". She really did see them all over the house. Then about halfway to our room, she fell to the floor and started hitting her legs and screaming that the bugs needed to get off of her. This went on for a while in our bed. I was holding her when she sort of calmed down a little and she said "why all these snakes in bed with me?" I said "what snakes hunny?" and she said "right there" as she pointed right at a space between her and I and the blankets. I just started crying. I felt like she was going crazy. I didn't know if she was awake or asleep or something in between, but it either way, it didn't seem "normal" (for the record I HATE the word normal so I hesitate to use it here about my baby).

It went on all night she would sleep for about an hour (or sometimes less) then she would be up for anywhere from 15 minutes-2 hrs screaming about things that weren't there. At one point she wouldn't stop screaming at me to close the door so "that horsey can't get in here to poop on me!" (I am not sure if that one was a "nightmare" or a "night terror" b/c she acknowledged I was there and she was speaking fairly clearly).

Josh is a man and men are inherently impatient and unsympathetic so he lost his temper at around 4:30 and went to sleep on the couch because (I quote) "what's the matter with her, she can't tell the difference between a dream and reality" to which I said "obviously NOT or she wouldn't be screaming at me to save her from a horse that's waiting for her in the living room, because I closed the door and apparently horses are like vampires and they have to be invited in! (yes, I saw fit to add a little of my usual sarcasm into the situation at this point...hey, that's just me without any sleep recalling my days of watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

From the moment she "woke up" (I use that term VERY loosely here) she was telling me how tired she was. She basically layed around all day watching TV drifting in and out of sleep. At around 11:00, she asked to take a nap. She was back there for about an hour and a half before it started again. This time I went back there to see the "usual" NT activity and she was also swatting at bees, while Sophia yelled at her "there's no bees in the house Mia! Bees live outside!". I held her for awhile and she eventually calmed down (about 15-20 minutes).

Last night was only twice (yes, in this upside down world I am living in, 2 psychotic terror-filled episodes deserves the word "only"). I'm not sure what they were about though because they were brief and she didn't say any "actual" words.

I'm not sure what (if anything) we can do to stop them. I've read some things that say they will "grow out of it" and some that say that's crazy and lots of adults still have them. One important thing I've learned today is to not say "it's only a dream. it isn't real" (which we were saying), because to them, it IS real and it just makes them more angry. I might try a lavender and chamomile candle (for 2 hrs burn it in her room with the door closed, then blow it out when she goes to bed) and I think on days she has school, since she doesn't get a nap, she will go to bed at 7:30 instead of 8:00 because I've read that if they get too tired, it makes it worse. Also, if they continue too much longer (at this frequency) I may look into getting her in to see a neurologist because a friend of mine read that they might be linked to underdeveloped brain cells. (which might be related to her sever prematurity) Thankfully she doesn't yet, seem to remember any of them. I am just praying that continues so that she doesn't have these memories that are so terrifying.

it's gettin' ugly...

2009-09-10T16:01:00.003-04:00

By "it", I of course mean the situation this country is in.

What's funny is that the people who voted this clown into office AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION to what is happening.

Van Jones is "gone", but the problem there is that his ideology is still HERE! Obama says "look at the people I surround myself with". So that's what we're about to do here today. These are some quotes taken directly from the people that NO ONE voted into the white house. These are the "czars" Obama has brought in to "tweak" the CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. (and these do not include the disgusting things Van Jones has said)

Cass Sunstein (regulatory czar):
"Animals should be permitted to bring suit, with human beings as their representatives, to prevent violations of current law."

"A legislative effort to regulate broadcasting in the interest of democratic principles should not be seen as an abridgment of the free speech guarantee."

"I have argued in favor of a reformulation of First Amendment law. The overriding goal of the reformulation is to reinvigorate processes of democratic deliberation, by ensuring greater attention to public issues and greater diversity of views."

Mark Lloyd (diversity czar):
"In Venezuela, with Chavez, is really an incredible revolution - a democratic revolution. To begin to put in place things that are going to have an impact on the people of Venezuela. The property owners and the folks who then controlled the media in Venezuela rebelled - worked, frankly, with folks here in the U.S. government - worked to oust him. But he came back with another revolution, and then Chavez began to take very seriously the media in his country."

John Holdren (science czar):
"A program of sterilizing women after their second or third child, despite the relatively greater difficulty of the operation than vasectomy, might be easier to implement than trying to sterilize men. Indeed, it has also been concluded that compulsory population-control laws, even including laws requiring compulsory abortion, could be sustained under the existing constitution if the population crisis became sufficiently severe to endanger the society."

******"The fetus, given the opportunity to develop properly before birth AND given the essential early socialising experiences and sufficient nourishing food during the crucial EARLY YEARS AFTER BIRTH, will ULTIMATELY develop into a human being"

Ezekiel Emmanuel (health advisor):
"When implemented, the complete lives system produces a priority curve on which individuals aged 15-40 yrs get the most chance, whereas the youngest and oldest people get chances that are attenuated"

Hopefully by tomorrow, I will have ready a blog that outlines exactly what it is that scares me so very much about what is going on right now. It isn't because I'm a Republican. IT IS BECAUSE I AM AN AMERICAN and I don't believe the Constitution is "an old piece of paper written by some old rich white guys a bunch of years ago".

Nun too exciting...

2009-09-03T19:10:00.002-04:00

Well nothing really exciting is going on around here, but I will keep you updated anyhow. So here goes.

The world is going to hell in a hand basket. (No, I don't actually know what that phrase means so please don't ask)

Jack is crawling. (Yes, it's official now)

Maria is so stinkin polite it's killin me! (And she's heading off to school...again. And I will be bawling my freaking eyes out...again)

I'm having another garage sale this weekend. (Well, I almost HAVE to since according to "Candy and friends" I am just a lazy SAHM who doesn't contribute to the family and is a financial burden on poor, poor Josh)

I've started a delayed New Years resolution (Since last year I was a little busy...ya know, giving birth and all). I've been trying one new recipe every week. And it's actually going really, really well.

I may have cured my momma. (Ok, well technically a new Dr. that was referred to me by a stranger who is now our hero, may have cured my mother. But I feel that I am, at the very least, indirectly responsible for the aforementioned curing)

We are paying off HALF of our debt tomorrow. (well just the credit card kind. But that is the very worst kind, after all)

I am 3/4 finished with all of my canning. (18 quarts of green beans, 6 quarts of corn, 12 quarts of spaghetti sauce, 6 quarts of tomato sauce. All that's left is apple pie filling and applesauce)

Unfortunately that about wraps it up.

I hate to get political, but....

2009-08-30T09:19:00.003-04:00

I can't remain silent today. My main problem recently is that no one will take these questions (posed by Glenn Beck) seriously. People just brush us off without actually LISTENING to what is being said/asked. No one has refuted the disgusting facts that this man is showing. He's waiting, and so is the country. Please actually LISTEN to what he's saying. Don't just disregard him because he's a Republican. Look at the ACTUAL FACTS. You wont be able to defend obama if you do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9JyFPdHZR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjkhB7lYgKk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMAIFC9_Zws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR8Cy0ljiHE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq9YlEaFrqc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQKQsxS6q3Y

Please start paying attention to what is happening to this country. Obama is tearing this country down peice by peice. He is making his own rules and deciding who should and shouldn't follow them. He is doing this with the help of admitted Communists and Socialists. He is taking away FREE SPEECH! He wants to control which opinions are put out there. IT IS WRONG! No matter what way you look at it. I get it, though. You didn't want another Republican in office. But why didn't you LISTEN to what obama was saying during the election. He said this is what he would do. And now look at what you have done by electing this man to ruin...er...run this country. Is this really the change this country needed? The answer is NO!

i'm still here

2009-08-22T21:52:00.003-04:00

This is basically just me saying that no, in fact, I have not died. I know I've been awful lately. I had so much fun to share and just got sooooo busy with everything and haven't had the time (yes I know that sounds extremely lame). All I can say, is that if you have received a blog comment from me in the last week, you should consider yourself very special. I have been canning and freezing and just all around getting ready for fall/winter. Also prepping for another garage sale (hoping to make even more than last time...which I am aware is asking a lot). I have another day of canning spaghetti sauce going on tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a bit easier since Josh will be here to help me.

I did also want to say a little bit about how awesome Josh and I have been doing these last few weeks. Are there things that I would change? sure. But when you get down to it, we are a good match. We complement each other. I am feeling really close to him lately and for some reason feeling like we have (finally) reached a point where we are in sync. I think we have spent the last 7 1/2 (yes 7 1/2!) years kind of fighting over the little shit because we didn't really know how to deal with all of the big shit. So instead of really talking about it, we ended up fighting over who didn't rinse out their dish or who fell asleep during the movie. Stupid shit! I know it sounds weird, but we are finally just learning to accept each others faults and knowing that we can't change them. When we went to our "pre-marital counseling" with the pastor before we got married (hence the name) he asked us a question that I have been thinking about lately. He said "What is it that bothers you about each other?" We gave our answers and he said "Are these things you can live with forever? Because they are never going to change. People don't change and people aren't perfect. You need to be able to clean up after each other and listen to each others mundane stories and visit each others families and all of that, and still want to wake up and do it again every day of the rest of your lives because that person is worth it to you. No two people are perfect for each other. The best we can do is to try to bring out the best in each other and to complement each other in the good AND bad times." We do that. 5 years ago we went through hell. A hell I wouldn't wish on my enemy and I remember fighting with him one day about the sandwich he brought me to the NICU when the real fight was about the fact that Maria needed surgery the next morning and I didn't know how to say "I'm afraid she's not going to make it". I didn't know how to communicate with him those feelings that were so important, so we fought about Arby's. I wish that we were as good together then as we are now. We would have made life a lot easier on each other. As much as I appreciated the silence at that time, there was so much that needed to be said and never was. We had been married for less than a month. We were young and we were SCARED. I wish I knew then what I know now. What I know now is that there is no amount of hell Josh will not go through with me. He will not leave me when things get tough. It is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and it is amazing. He is who I will wake up next to when I am 90 and I love knowing that.

Camping cont.

2009-08-11T17:03:00.008-04:00

OK, so I have been an extremely bad blogger for the last few weeks. Just the normal craziness+my inability to figure out a new way to upload my pics since my freebie photoshop thing is up+I'm too cheap/poor to purchase a new photo software. So I am back and if I do say so myself, better than ever. :D Anyway, I have tons of pics and stories to tell, so hold on to your seats, it's gonna be a fun few posts. I'm going to try to stick to one topic per day, but I'm not promising anything.

First things first. Camping. We went to West Branch Campground in Ravenna. It was nice because it was only about 45 mins away and it was a really nice campground. The sites are mostly really nice. A bunch of them, though were totally wooded so there was NO grass. My parents had the misfortune of having one of these sites, which was not much fun esp after the 12 hrs straight of rain we got the second night. But, to avoid this situation in the future, Josh and I drove around the campground before we left and marked on the map, which ones would be nice for next time.

Our tent was really nice and well worth the $150. We didn't waterproof it, but it didn't need it. After the aforementioned rain, we had only 1 teeny, tiny leak that caused no problems at all. It was also very roomy because it was a "cabin" style instead of the normal "dome".

This was where Josh and I slept and then Jack was in the Pack n Play. Our luggage and other gear is at the bottom of the pic.

Then the girls were in the other bed and our food and kitchen stuff was in the 3-drawer container and the black tote.

The girls brought bubbles, chalk, bikes, their balls and Barbies to keep them occupied

And they spent lots of time at the playground.

And of course the highlight was going to the beach :D This is my sister Erin with Jackson in his little "cabana" (which was awesome and also well worth the money, btw).

Sophia was not really sure about the water at first. But after an hour or two she was walking waist-deep in it.

Maria just loved the water. My sister Melanie took her out and was holding her in the deeper water and she was having a GREAT time. She is still talking about it today.

We did end up leaving a little bit early. We were paid up until Tuesday at 1:00p but we left on Monday at 8:00p. I think everyone was ready. We had all had our fun and were ready to go. It actually worked out perfectly though.

camping is not for the weak

2009-08-05T15:10:00.004-04:00

I will definitely say that camping is not for everyone. I once heard a woman we know say that her idea of camping is the Holiday Inn. And I would say that for those who feel that way....STAY AT THE HOLIDAY INN. LOL. It is a lot of hard work and it isn't fun every minute. But if you know what you are doing and you are able to work hard and still find joy in it, it's definitely worth the trouble.

We had a day where the kids did nothing but cry and we had 12 hrs of constant rain (thankfully it was over-night), but we still had fun. Maria FINALLY peddled her bike by herself. Both of the girls went in chest-high into the water and LOVED it. (which for some reason they never do at their Grandma's pool). They built sandcastles and played at the playground. Aunt Val taught the girls some Volleyball. Aunt Erin and Aunt Mel walked Jackson all over in his stroller. We had hobo pies and smores, and we melted styrofoam plates with steaks. I actually managed to get Josh to spend an hour with me playing cards and I read half of a book (Lord only knows when I will have the time to read the other half though lol). The tent didn't leak amidst all the rain...and MUD underneath. Josh did a little fishing (and a little "non-fishing" with the girls lol) By the end of the trip Josh actually said "I don't want to leave, I'm having too much fun." In the weeks leading up to the trip he was quite a fan of the phrase "this is gonna suck". So I was really surprised he loved it so much and was bugging me all the way home about when we were going to go again. I call that a success! I swear I have lots of pics, I just can't seem to get them uploaded onto my computer b/c my free 2 yrs of photoshop is up. So you will have to be patient with me.

My Husband Rocks Friday

2009-07-24T15:36:00.002-04:00

It's that time again. Time to remember what makes Josh so amazing that I decided to spend every day of the rest of my life with him.

I truly wish I had the sense to pull out the camera earlier this week, but alas, no such luck. I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and I happened to look out the back door. What did I see, you ask? I saw a sight I love to see. A sight that makes me swoon each and every time I see it. A sight so simple and yet so meaningful all at the same time.

Josh was kicking balls around with the girls in the back yard and cheering them on "Great job hunny!" and "wow, you're sooo good at that!" It may sound like nothing, but it really is something. I adore it. I truly adore it...and HIM.

it won't be like this for long

the forgotten post

a sneak peek..

awesome day

Jack in the box

Dear Beach

Myrtle Beach Restaurant Reviews

Vacation by the numbers

a few pics...

Brilliance

Friday Night Leftovers

The runner

Way back Wednesday

friday night leftovers

Total awesomeness

getting back in the game

Yes, I know it's Wednesday

a fine line

a couple things...

Things I'm interested in

My favorites

Not sure...

my mothers day promises to my children

Mothers day gifts, big and small

leftovers and wordless wednesday...all on the wrong days

Don't forget...

The reason Chrysler Financial is the devil

an appology in the form of a funny video...

Enough pics to sink a ship...or just 9

Way-Back Wednesday

Friday Night Leftovers

Birthday recap

5 years of miracles

MHR

way back wednesday (and small update)

how much of a bitch IS jillian michaels, anyway?

Friday Night Leftovers (photo ed.)

taking the bun off the hot dog?

1st and 10

I could have sworn...

Way Back Wednesday

thank you. thank-you-very-much.

5 yrs together

ABC's of our life

what's the term for repeatedly coughing until you vomit? HUMILIATION!

blog-iversary (and some lessons on relationships)

week of firsts

Friday Night Leftovers (2-5-10)

what is family?

oh, it's ON! **EDITED**

MHR...uhhh monday?

who REALLY deserves the reward?

assumptions

Best parts of my day

the difference

Things we don't do in this house

1 year and 8 days...

3 years and 1 day

yes, ANOTHER new blog

365...er 362 days

last new years eve..

everyone else is doing it

Some awesome Christmas Lights

Not wrong, just different

The Best Christmas Movies

"normal" is over-rated

The Nutcracker

Mid-preschool crisis

Best Christmas Tree EVER

christmas pics, NOT for the scrapbook

music to my ears

baby bunching

Perfectly Imperfect

I wish...

Best Thanksgiving EVER

No easy way to say toothless

Christmas Questions

hearing is in the ear of the beholder...

That's what I like about you

happy birthday!

oh, it's ON! EDITED