Obviously, we've been having to deal with a really horrid, disgusting person who has been trying to bring us down lately. However, when I look at our life together, I really wouldn't change much. (Other than removing a couple people from our radar and winning the lottery lol). Josh and I are happier than we've ever been. We both say every day how we wish we could keep everything the way it is right now, forever. Especially the kids. I love spending every minute with them and yet it still feels like I don't spend enough time with them. I still feel like it's going so fast and I want to freeze them.
Josh rocks today and every day because he loves me for who I am. He stuck with me through the most difficult pregnancy(ies) imaginable and then through the 7-8 months of post-partum depression I went through January through August-ish (which also happened to coincide with his dad and sister-in-law starting some of the worst "fights" we've ever been in). It wasn't easy for either of us. I was at the lowest point in my life. I wished for death more times than I care to remember. I screamed at everything that moved (which unfortunately happened to be the people I love the most). I said and did things I regret. I cried more tears than I probably have in my entire life. But through all of that, Josh refused to give up on me. When I was begging him to leave me or put me out of my misery, he would give me a hug and tell me that one day I was going to wish I hadn't said that so he was going to ignore it. And he was right. He would hold me while I cried for hours. He helped with the housework and he took the girls outside after he got home so that I could rest and just have Jackson.
So what made me need to tell you TODAY why he's so amazing instead of waiting until Friday? Well, last night we were laying in bed talking (as usual lol) and we started talking about that time in our lives. We talked about how hard it was on both of us. And I asked him how he could stay with me through all of that.
He said "you told me".
I said "when did I tell you that?"
He said "when Maria was in the NICU and you told me every single day that God only gives us what we can handle. I just remembered that. And I was thinking that what YOU had to be going through to make you that angry, must have been pretty bad. I was never mad at you, I felt bad for you and I wanted to help you."
Now folks, THAT is why I married him! lol. We really do honor our vows to each other. We are in this through good times and bad. In sickness and in health. I don't know if I deserve a man that would love me through all of that, but I thank God that I've got one. We really are partners in this life. We don't tell each other what to do. We don't make the other one be the only person in the relationship to ever compromise. We make decisions together. We talk about EVERYTHING. And we do it like adults. We will be happy together til death do us part.