Tuesday, April 28, 2009

the RIGHT age for marriage?

I'm watching a show about child brides here in America and just wanted to jot down some thoughts and questions about it.

How much have you changed since you were 13? What were you like at that age? What did you think your future would be like? What did you know about the dynamics of marriage? Is your maturity age the same for everyone (as in is one 13 yr old as mature as another...is it brain chemistry or is it your experiences that determine what you can handle at what age)? Is there a RIGHT age to get married?

At age 13, I would say I was more mature than most other kids my age. Honestly I feel that I still am. I think some of us are put (or put ourselves) in situations that teach us things through difficulty. But that doesn't mean that I was ready to be married at that age. Though when I did get married at 20, I would say some people thought we were too young. And yet, we've made it through more in the last 4 years than some people go through in 40.

I'm a bit mixed on this subject (as you can see). On one hand, I feel like what 12-14 yr old can know that they should be spending the rest of their lives with someone. And, how many of these marriages actually last? Almost none. And physically, our brains are still forming until we are 20, so they can't foresee the consequences of their actions.

And when I think about what I thought about marriage and relationships at such a young age, it makes me literally want to laugh out loud. And about parenting....HA!

But on the other hand, a lot of these couples are TRYING to do the right thing by getting married b/c they are already pregnant. And honestly what do ANY of us know before getting married and having kids? Should we really prevent people from trying to do right for their kids? And how about, why they are having kids in the first place? Isn't there something our society or their families can do to help PREVENT (NOT END) pregnancies. Something more than we already have? I really don't know. We all have the personal responsibility to DO THE RIGHT THING. But how many of us actually do? I know from personal experiences that sometimes things (i.e. babies) just happen. But where are the parents of these teens? Can we blame them? Because I think we ALL can say that we've done things that our parents didn't know about and certainly wouldn't have approved of.

So I reiterate....WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE FOR MARRIAGE? I really have no idea. But I really feel like it can't hurt to wait until 18. I mean, if someone wants to get married when they are 13 and they HONESTLY feel that they will be together forever, what would it hurt to wait 5 years?

1 comment:

Tricia said...

WOW... I would say 18 at the very least. Not only are you not "technically" a woman when you are 13, but you also may not be able to make a decision that would affect you for the rest of your life. I think I have seen a show like that before. It was kind of sad!